Rabbi Benjamin YudinA Reaction Speaks Louder Than Words

The Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chaim 493:1) teaches that the custom is not to marry until the thirty third day of the Omer, for during this time the students of Rabi Akiva died. The source of this teaching is the Talmud Yevamos (62b) that states that Rabi Akiva had 12 thousand pairs of disciples and they all died during one period, because they did not treat each other with respect. The Talmud further informs us that they died between Pesach and Shavuos.

I was always troubled by the charge of "they did not treat each other with respect". Does it mean they did not say "good morning" to one another? Intuitively we sense there is more going on. Commenting on the verse (Breishis 25:1), "Avraham proceeded and took a wife whose name was Ketura", the Medrash Rabbah (61:3) quotes the teaching of Koheles (11:6), "in the morning sow your seed and in the evening do not be idle, for you cannot know which will succeed; this or that or whether both are equally good." Rabi Yishmael understood the above verse to mean that if one was privileged to study Torah in his youth he should continue to learn Torah is his old age as well, for one can never be sure of the accuracy of their understanding of Torah. Moreover, Rabi Akiva, inspired by the verse in Koheles, taught that if one was privileged to have many students in their youth, they should continue and have disciples in their old age. Rabi Akiva, upon losing his 12 thousand pairs of students, proceeded to teach Torah to seven students, who later perpetuated the study of Torah for all time. Rabi Akiva addressed his later students and said, "My sons, my earlier students died as 'aynayhem tzara ailu l'ailu' - they begrudged and resented one another. Be especially careful not to emulate their misdeeds."

"Tsoras Ayin" is usually understood in the physical materialistic realm. Too often, one is not happy with the success and accomplishments of the next one. They are bothered that the next person has what they do not. The Medrash is shedding light on the students' lack of respect for one another, namely their resentment of each others spiritual growth and accomplishments. Ideally, "kinas sofrim tarbeh chocma" (Bava Basra 21a)- "Jealousy between scholars increases wisdom". One should say to himself, if that individual can daven with kavana, abstain from talking during davening, have regular s'dorim with a chavrusa, learn daf yomi, visit the sick, participate in chevra kadisha, and abstain from lashon hara, then so can I!

There is a classic case in Talmud Sanhedrin (102a) where we are taught that despite the many atrocities of Yarovam, hashem seized him by his garment and said to him, "Repent, and I, you and the son of Yishai will stroll together in the Garden of Eden." Thereupon, Yarovam said to Hashem, "Mi b'rosh ?"- Who will lead the procession? Hashem answered that David would be at the head. Yarovam replied that he was not going. Among other things, Yarovam had tzoras ayin towards David. That Hashem should recognize David's spiritual accomplishments over Yarovam's was something he could not tolerate. Not only was he not happy and proud of David's success, but his wishing it were not so was a form of diminution of Hashem's honor and glory that David's avodah (spiritual growth) had accomplished. This strong condemnation of that tzoras ayini is expressed by Rabbeinu Yonah in Shaarei Teshuvah (3:160). He says that though an individual may be a talmid chachamand shomer mitzvos if he begrudges the success of his colleagues he is termed a sonei Hashem - one who shows some hatred toward Hashem.

The Talmud (Sanhedrin 93b) delves into the psyche of King Saul and concludes that when Doeg informs Saul that "Hashem is with him," (Samuel I 16:18) this means that David was the recipient of special Divine assistance, as witnessed by the fact that his views and opinions were established as the accepted halacha. Immediately Saul became disheartened and jealous of David. Saul suffered from tzoras ayin!

This is the very antithesis of Aharon HaCohen. Moshe was afraid to accept the leadership position in Bnei Yisroel lest he offend his older brother Aharon. Hashem assures Moshe (Shmos 4:14), "v'racha v'somach b'libo," - when (Aharon) sees you he will rejoice in his heart. Aharon posessed 'tov ayin' - a good eye, genuinely happy with the mission and accomplishments of Moshe. Mishle (22:9) teaches, "One with a good eye will be blessed," and Aharon was the beneficiary of his generosity of spirit by receiving the breastplate of the Cohen Gadol upon his generous heart.

This very critical lesson is one that we all need to learn and master. It is not only for the great among our people, as the malady has precipitated the downfall of prestigious institutions of learning. All too often this negativism is found in homes and synagogues. Case in point: A young man or woman attends a yeshiva in Israel post-high school. They attain success in their learning and often return with a more serious attitude and demeanor towards their personal spirituality. They now actually recite blessings before eating, recite birkas hamazon slowly from a text, and come to shul on time. They find time in their schedule for daily learning of Torah, and chessed activities. How is this received by their families? Is it encouraged and viewed through the lenses of tov ayin? Is it nachas for a parent to see their child advance beyond their own personal station? Or, is it met with mocking and sarcastic gestures and language, often a reaction based on feelings of guilt and inadequacy?

Yaakov, in his departing words to Shimon and Levi says, "ki v'apam hirgy ish" (Bereishis 49:6), translated literally as, 'for in their rage they murdered people'. Our wise among us were quick to note that af also means 'nose'. Sometimes with only a facial gesture, a turning up of the nose, we can do immeasurable damage to the effect of a speaker's words, and the positive advances of a spiritual journey. No one said the time of sefirah was easy!