Rabbi Yakov HaberEnvy: The Prohibited, the Permissible and the Recommended[1]

"And Rachel saw that she had not bore children to Ya'akov, and Rachel was jealous of her sister, and she said to Ya'akov, ‘Give me children, for if not, I shall die!'" (VaYeitsei 30:1). The Torah recounts to us that the motivation for Rachel's approaching Ya'akov to pray for her to have children (see Rashi) was her envy of her sister, Leah.[2] Midrash Rabba[3] (71:6) comments:

R. Yitzchak said: It is written "Let not your heart envy sinners, but in the fear of Hashem all day" (Mishlei 23:17). How then can you say: "And Rachel was jealous of her sister"!  Rather, the verse teaches us that she [Rachel] envied her [Leah's] good deeds,[4] saying, ‘If not that she were more righteous than I, she would not have had children.'[5]

The commentaries on the Midrash note that R. Yitzchak is interpreting the verse in Mishlei as "Do not envy sinners, rather, only envy the fear of G‑d", meaning envy those who fear G‑d in order to spur yourself to fear G‑d more. Rachel was utilizing this type of envy to elevate her connection to G‑d and, through that merit, have children. Indeed, as the Torah testifies, it was her increased prayer that finally brought about her having children (30:22).

Ramban, in his commentary on the commandment of "V'ahavta l'rei'acha kamocha" (K'doshim 19:18), states that with this commandment the Torah directs us to desire that all people should receive all good things both spiritual and physical. One should not have an attitude of "it's fine if my friend is better than me in some ways, as long as he is not better than me or equal to me in all ways." In other words, the Torah commands us to have a positive view of people's talents and possessions and prohibits jealousy. Our Sages teach us: "Jealousy, desire, and the pursuit of honor drive one from the world" (Avot 4:21). The commentaries explain this to mean that these attitudes cause one both not to enjoy This World and to lose one's reward in the Next World. According to Ramban, jealousy is not just something inadvisable but is also prohibited.

Are all forms of jealousy for the mundane prohibited? If one desires a car or a high-paying job because he sees someone else has it, is he in violation of Torah law? A careful reading of Ramban leads to the conclusion that the type of envy which is prohibited is where one person wishes to have something another has and that the other person should not have it or that the envier should always have more. By doing so, one is not fulfilling loving a neighbor as oneself. If, on the other hand, the person merely wants as well something someone else has, this type of envy is permissible. However, our Sages, in the above-quoted Mishna, counsel against this type of envy too as it has the potential to lead to both unhappiness as well as sin.[6]

Rachel's envy of Leah was not only permitted, it was recommended.  As the verse in Mishlei indicates one can use the powerful force of envy for a positive goal: to attain that which ordinary will-power would not be able to accomplish. Chazal similarly tell us (Bava Basra 22a) "kinat sof'rim tarbeh chachma" - the envy of Torah scholars increases wisdom.[7] A positive atmosphere of competition arising in a Beit Midrash has the potential to encourage the students to heights in Torah scholarship normally unachievable. In light of this, it is only the second type of envy listed above, the goal of which is that both the envier and the envied should have or attain something, is recommended with respect to spiritual pursuits. If one has "spiritual" envy of another and wishes to outshine that person in order to denigrate him or that the other person should lose their ability or knowledge, he would be violating the same prohibition as one with envy on mundane matters.[8]

This surprising approach to drive ourselves to higher heights in ‘avodat Hashem through self-centered motives is similar to Chazal's directive of "one should l'olam engage in Torah and Mitzvot [even] not lishma [for the sake of Heaven], for through shelo lishma one will arrive at lishma" (P'sachim 50b). [9]  Rav Noach Isaac Oelbaum shlita, quoting from earlier sources, noted the use of the word l'olam in this passage. This can be taken to mean "always", meaning, one should constantly, throughout one's life, think of even self-centered methods to prod oneself to higher heights in Divine service. Once the higher level has been reached, then one can work on injecting pure motives into the self-same actions. We should never think that we have "graduated" beyond the need to utilize these techniques to move ourselves (or our children, students or others) ever higher. In this manner, we utilize our baser desires and drives for a higher purpose.[10] Rachel's initial jealousy drove her to enormous levels of prayer, and, ultimately, she became the matriarch most famous for prayer. As the prophet Yirmiyahu states: "kol b'Ramah nishma..., Rachel m'vaka ‘al baneha - a voice is heard in Ramah, Rachel is crying for her children." Hashem assures her: "min'i koleich mibechi v'einayich mi'dim'a ki yaish sachar lif'ulaseich n'um Hashem, v'shavu mei'eretz oyaiv - stop your voice from crying and your eyes from tears, for there is reward for your actions, says G‑d, and they [your children] will return from the land of the enemy" (31:15).

As is true for other major aspects of Divine service, one striving to achieve the goal of eliminating inappropriate jealousy and fostering the appropriate variety must study, practice and must generally pass through the crucible of temporary failure. Some ideas concerning avoiding envy over mundane matters were mentioned in a previous article on TorahWeb referenced in note 1. But the knowledge of what our Torah prohibits, what it allows, and what it recommends is a first step in achieving these noble goals.


[1] This article elaborates on a theme partially presented in Lo Tachmod: Mazal, Destiny and the Prohibition against Coveting.

[2] See the commentaries on Rashi that after Leah had four children, Rachel realized that she would not have even one quarter of the twelve tribes destined to emerge from Ya'akov. She was therefore envious of her sister at this point in time.

[3] Quoted partially by Rashi.

[4] See Kli Yakar for an alternative approach.

[5] See Maskil L'David on Rashi who suggests that Rashi (from the Midrash) is commenting on the extra appearance of the name Rachel. "Rachel saw...Rachel was jealous." The Torah is stressing that this was Rachel, the righteous matriarch, who surely would not have fallen into petty envy.

[6] See L'Raicha Kamocha (pp. 159-160).

[7] This even has halachic ramifications in terms of Yeshivot (Bava Basra, ibid.) or Shuls (see Igros Moshe (Choshen Mishpat 1:31) based on Rivash) competing against each other. See, however, Igros Moshe (Choshen Mishpat 1:38) for limitations to this rule.

[8] See L'Rai'acha Kamocha (p. 159).

[9] See Internalizing Torah by Mori v'Rabi, Rav Mayer Twersky.

[10] Rav Oelbaum further elaborated that the Gemara (P'sachim, ibid.) compares lishma service of G-d to "the right" and shelo lishma service to the left. Sifrei Torah are written from right-to-left indicating the goal of ultimately moving toward "the right" - indicating the lishma level. But each letter is written from left-to-right indicating that, in each step of our spiritual journey, we are encouraged to utilize a "left" approach - a shelo lishma approach.