In Parshas Emor we not only read about sefiras ha'omer, but we are in the middle of its observance. The Ramban, (Vayikra 23:36) teaches that from the Torah the days between Pesach and Shavuos are understandably happy days; these are days of anticipation, yearning and excitement. We are counting from our liberation to relive the moment of His revelation to an entire nation, something which was and is unprecedented in the annals of world history. Our Rabbis remind us (Rashi, Breishis 1:1) that the very purpose of creation was for the giving of the Torah.
The Talmud (Yevamos 62b) teaches that the twenty four thousand students of Rabbi Akiva died during this period of sefiras ha'omer, and for this reason the Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chaim 493:1-2) legislates some mournful observances, including no weddings and haircuts during thirty three days of the omer. The cause of their dying is given as "lo nahagu kavod zeh lazaeh - they did not show adequate respect for one another." The Mesilas Yesharim (chapter 22) takes this most literally, accusing them of a lack of derech-eretz, mentchlechkeit, which is a pre-requisite for Torah as taught by our Rabbis "derech-eretz kadma la'Torah." This is found as well in Avos (3:17) where Rabbi Elazar ben Azariyah taught, "if there is no respect, there is no Torah" and Rabbeinu Yonah teaches that one has to refine their character as a pre-requisite for Torah.
The Maharsha understands this deficiency to be specifically in the realm of Talmud Torah. Instead of praising one another for their unique understanding, contribution, and chelek-portion in Torah, they viewed the other as a threat and competition to their individual self-worth.
I'd like to suggest an explanation of their lack of kavod - respect one to another, based upon the teaching of the Shem MiShmuel. He is bothered, as are we, by the following: how is it possible that the students of Rabbi Akiva, who not only heard the teaching of their great Rabbi that v'ahavta l'reyacha kamocha is a fundamental principle of the Torah, but were students of Rabbi Akiva who lived and personified this teaching as well. The Talmud (Shabbos 127b) describes the extraordinary character of a worker and the Sheiltos (Parshas Shemos) ascribes this story to Rabbi Akiva. How is it possible that they would be deficient in this area?
The Shem MiShmuel answers that there is a significant difference between love and respect. Love is an emotion that most often emerges from and pervades a natural organism. There is love within the family unit as they are just that, a unit. Love stems from the commonality that individuals share together. Thus, the students of Rabbi Akiva followed the sacred teaching of their rebbe and loved all Jews. The Jewish people share a common pedigree, history and destiny, all of which contribute to unite them and, in addition, the Torah commands them to love one another.
Respect on the other hand emerges not from commonality, but the reverse; one notices the unique features that marks someone's individuality and admires these positive traits and consciously or subconsciously desires to emulate these qualities. In order for respect to emerge and prevail, one must note how a person is different and shines above the others in this particular realm. The students of Rabbi Akiva followed their teacher and his teaching to a fault. Their intense love for every Jew led them to relax any and all formality, and they viewed each talmid as being on par with all the other talmidim. This caused them to overlook the unique strengths of each, thus missing the opportunity 1) to develop a desire to emulate that uniqueness and thereby be driven to grow and 2) for individual recognition and respect to emerge.
Note that the Torah in the fifth of the Aseres Hadibors does not legislate loving a parent because it is natural to love a parent. The Torah does however command a child to respect a parent, for often the child will not necessarily adopt the same ideologies and lifestyle, but the child is to respect his parents' unique traits.
The students of Rabbi Akiva failed to recognize and learn from each other. Sad to say, we repeat the tragic mistakes of our past. Ideally, we too love all Jews, and this is the easy part. However, even within the Orthodox community, there are the divisions of modern, yeshivish and chasidish, and too often we might love them all and yet fail to sufficiently note and implement the many noble and distinguishing character traits of the other groups. Our instinctive, immediate dismissal of their identifying outer trappings too often preclude us from considering and incorporating their many positive virtues. This might well be characterized as "lo nahagu kavod zeh lazeh", as not showing respect one for another.
The same page of Talmud that condemns the students of Rabbi Akiva continues and presents the ideals of marriage. A husband is to "love his wife as himself, and respect her more than himself". This is precisely what the Shem MiShmuel has been teaching. The couple shares love as a single unit, but must respect the distinguishing traits of their spouse.
Reb Elimelech of Lizhensk, one of the outstanding Chassidic leaders of the eighteen century, was wont to pray that we should see, appreciate, and emulate the worth of others, thereby not only loving them as part of Klal Yisroel, but also respecting them for their individuality. May we follow in his footsteps in both prayer and deed.