"...And when he defiled his father's couch, his birthright was given to the children of Joseph [no longer] to be considered for the birthright" (Divrei Hayamim I 5:1). Reuvein, originally destined for greatness on three planes, the leadership role awarded to the firstborn, priesthood and kingship (Rashi to Bereishis 49:3) lost all of them (but see Rashi Bereishis 35:23) in a moment of indiscretion. To be sure, Rashi quotes the words of Chazal (Shabbos 55b) who testify that the sin was not as literally related in the text but rather entailed inappropriate meddling in his father's personal affairs when, after Rachel's death, he removed his father's bed from the tent of Bilhah, Rachel's former maidservant, to the tent of his mother, Leah, in order to protect her honor (see Rashi to Bereishis 35:22). His punishment was harsh and not long in coming.
Notwithstanding his grave miscalculation, Reuvein's noble personality emerges in several ways. Firstly, he soon after repents of his misdeed (see Rashi ibid. 37:29). Chazal testify that Reuvein was the very first person to do teshuva (Bereishis Rabba 84:19). Questioning this assertion in light of the fact that Adam and Kayin repented before Reuvein did, the commentaries on the Midrash answer that unlike Reuvein's predecessors who only repented after they were punished, he was "posei'ach b'teshuva" - initiating the process before Ya'akov Avinu (on his deathbed) wrested away the endowments of kingship and priesthood. Mori v'Rabi Rav C. Y. Goldwicht zt"l, the founding Rosh HaYeshiva of Yeshivat Kerem b'Yavneh, presents a comprehensive analysis of the nature of Reuvein's repentance, illuminating for us how Reuvein's actions should serve as a model to emulate (Asufas Ma'arachos, Vayesihev, "Segulas haTeshuva v'Hatzalas Yosef"). Rav Goldwicht elaborates on the answer of the aforementioned commentaries on the Midrash explaining that Reuvein repented out of love not just fear of punishment. This was his uniqueness over his predecessors. Famously, Reish Lakish teaches (Yoma 86b) that concerning one who repents out of love, "zedonos na'asos lo kizchoyos," his former sins become sources of merit. Rav Goldwicht explains this seemingly paradoxical statement as follows: Each person has enormous reservoirs of abilities to serve Hashem with great zeal, creativity, energy, and determination. However, often these resources remain untapped since motivation might be lacking. Sometimes the natural desire for sin serves as the catalyst through which these qualities are actualized. Once the sinner is aware that he contains these newly-revealed resources through his misdeeds, he has the ability then to challenge them for service of his Creator. Reuvein did exactly that. Feeling a sense of responsibility precisely as the firstborn, he felt duty-bound to protect his mother's honor. This was the first recorded example of his utilizing his leadership role as the firstborn, but his action was a grave miscalculation. But a positive benefit emerged from this tragic episode. Reuvein now channeled these newly developed leadership skills to rescue his brother Yosef. In the words of the Midrash quoted by Rashi (ibid. 37:22), "He said, 'I am the firstborn and the oldest of all of them; the blame will only be placed on me!'" His leadership role, originally discovered through a rash, intemperate act prompted him to rescue his brother. His repentance now rose to the level of teshuva mei'ahava, consisting of active channeling of all of one's talents - including the newly-found ones as a result of former sins - for the performance of courageous, lofty deeds in the service of G-d. These dual accomplishments, repentance and the saving of Yosef are lauded together by the Midrash (Bamidbar Rabba 13:18):
And because he sought two proper actions, saving Yosef and repentance, he was included in the count [of the tribes] as it is written, "And the children of Ya'akov were twelve" (ibid. 35:22). Because of these two actions, Moshe was able to pray for Reuvein that he should not be separated from his brothers, as it is written, "May Reuvein live and not die!" (Devarim 33:6). "May Reuvein live" - as a result of his preserving Yosef's life; "And not die" because of the action concerning Bilha - as a result of his repentance.
Rav Goldwicht explains that there is a direct link between these two actions. The repentance initially done out of fear was transformed into one done out of love as demonstrated by his channeling his leadership qualities to save his brother.
B'nei Yissaschar (by Rav Tzvi Elimelech of Dinov) (Tishrei, 4:3:9) presents a different explanation as to the uniqueness of Reuvein's teshuva. The Zohar seemingly maintains that concerning sins connected to shmiras habris, those involving misuse of the physical drive, teshuva does not help. Many explain, in light of the central teaching of Chazal that אין לך דבר שעומד בפני התשובה, no sin is so great that teshuva is ineffective for it, that the meaning of this Zohar is that for sins of this nature, teshuva ila'a, a higher form of teshuva is required. One could suggest that this "higher form" of repentance refers to one rooted in love and not just fear. Reuvein, although he did not sin in the way the Torah states, nonetheless, because of his high level, was "charged" by the heavens with the crime of adultery because of his interference in his father's intimate matters. Since a higher form of teshuva is required to achieve atonement for such a sin, Reuvein also had to repent on a level befitting the sin attributed to him even though he committed a lesser sin.
Rather than feeling resentment toward his earthly father or His Father in Heaven for his loss of his leadership roles, Reuvein enthusiastically repents in order to recapture his former pure state even if he had to forfeit his former glory. This recalls the famous statement of another towering figure who sinned in a lesser manner than that which was attributed to him, Dovid Hamelech - who guided generations with the power of repentance (see Avoda Zara 9a) and spent the rest of his life returning to His Creator - "שבטך ומשענתך המה ינחמוני", "[Both] your rod [of punishment] and your staff [of support] comfort me!" Punishment atones; suffering brings us back to Hashem.
An even greater testament to Reuvein's character is how he saves his brother Yosef, the very one who receives one of the three endowments destined for him, his birthright. Foreseeing this event, Leah, according to Chazal's tradition, includes this noble act in his very name. Reu - bein - see the difference between my son and the son of my father-in-law. When the latter (Esav) sold his birthright and suffers the consequences of his actions, he threatened his brother's life. But when my son had his birthright taken away from him and given to his brother Yosef, he attempts to save him from the other brothers (Rashi, Bereishis 29:32, from Chazal). The Midrash beautifully comments that Reuvein felt eternal gratitude to Yosef for envisioning eleven bundles of wheat in his dream bowing down to him. The fact that there were eleven and not ten confirmed that Reuvein had not been expelled in Heaven from the tribes of Israel! This further inspired him to argue with his brothers in order to save Yosef (Bereshis Rabba 84:15). This sense of gratitude even toward one who eventually would receive his birthright serves as a noble example for all of us.
Rav Moshe Cordovero, in his important work, Tomer Devorah, presents the lengths to which a person should strive to benefit others under all circumstances. Even toward someone who has caused him harm, one should direct kindness for, in so doing, one emulates his Creator. We often utilize the very talents that Hashem has graciously granted us to defy his will. This is analogous to someone granting someone a loan to open a business which the latter then utilizes to crush his competition, the one giving him the loan! Even though we similarly rebel against Hashem with the tools which he gave us, nonetheless, he still continues to give us those very gifts. An exemplary story is told about Rav Mordechai Eliyahu zt"l whose son had been libeled. When the case came to court, the libeler came crying to Rav Eliyahu that he could not afford the fees for a lawyer. After rebuking him for the libel, Rav Eliyahu then proceeded to pay for the petitioner's legal expenses - telling him to keep this secret from his son!
May Hashem grant us the will to follow in the footsteps of Reuvein, an often overlooked hero, by lovingly and diligently channeling all of our talents in the service of the One Above, feeling gratitude to all who have helped us even in small ways and in assisting all of Hashem's children.