Transcript

In terms of scheduling, next week is the Bechina Friday morning, so there won't be a Chaburah or Musar Shmuess. The following week is Thanksgiving weekend. There's a new edition of Shulchan Aruch which Oz Vehadar is putting out, used to have a manuscript of the Yesh Omrim and the Rema in Yoreh De'ah that there's a Mitzvas Talmud Torah even on Thanksgiving. So our regular Friday morning Shiur will be advanced to Thursday morning, and it will follow the Thursday schedule. I think Mincha is not until 1:30, so we'll extend it until Mincha, but the Seder, the Friday morning Seder will be Thursday morning im yirtzeh Hashem. Two weeks ago, I wasn't here, unfortunately, for the Divrei Musar last week. Two weeks ago, Rabbi Zats spoke again, still focusing on the theme of Shleimus of how the Torah positions v'halachta bidrachav as the stepping stone to deveikus, and that the Ramchal says that that is what constitutes Shleimus. And he highlighted this fact which perhaps strikes us a little bit as a davar mechudash of the importance and the centrality of bein adam l'chavero. I think it does strike us as a davar mechudash because I think we sort of intuitively feel that if a person is corrupt in his bein adam l'chavero that that's a stira, that that contradicts and that prevents shleimus. But that the bein adam l'chavero should be that which brings lidei shleimus is something which I don't think we necessarily intuit. And what takeh is the pshat in that? So the correct perspective, and it can be illustrated from different angles, it can begin with the famous Gemara in Shabbos with the Ger who comes before Shammai and then comes before Hillel and says למדני כל התורה כולה כשאני עומד על רגל אחת, Shammai dochfo b'amos habinyan and Hillel says מאי דסני לך לחברך לא תעביד ואידך זיל גמור. So how is that, how does that encapsulate kol haTorah kullah? So Rashi says רעך ורע אביך אל תעזב, quoting the pasuk from Mishlei that when Hillel was saying v'ahavta l're'acho kamocha, Hillel didn't mean bein adam l'chavero, he meant Hakadosh Baruch Hu who's our best friend. V'ahavta l're'acho kamocha, so basically he told him if you want to know what Torah's about, Torah's about doing ratzon Hashem. Now you need to know what ratzon Hashem is, so v'idach zil gmar, so now go learn Shulchan Aruch, go learn Torah and you'll find out what ratzon Hashem is. But there is a pshat both in the Gaon as well as the Ba'al HaTanya, שניהם נתכוונו לדבר אחד, that when the Ger poses this challenge to Shammai and Hillel of למדני כל התורה כולה כשאני עומד על רגל אחת, so he's alluding to the Mishnah in Pirkei Avos of

על שלשה דברים העולם עומד על התורה ועל העבודה ועל גמילות חסדים.

And the Ger is asking for a simpler formula, he wants it reduced even further, he doesn't want there should be three legs, he wants it at one so Shammai dochfo b'amos habinyan. על התורה ועל העבודה ועל גמילות חסדים, you can't reduce it anymore than that. And then Hillel tells him no, you can reduce it takeh to the amud hachesed. So this understanding of the Gaon and the Ba'al HaTanya, the Gemara only highlights the difficulty in the Gemara. How can we say that kol haTorah kullah is compressed into those gimel amudim into the amud hachesed? The answer is that in Yahadus hagam that we sort of conveniently divide mitzvos, we divide mitzvos into mishpatim and chukim and we divide mitzvos into bein adam l'chavero and bein adam l'Makom, but the answer is in Yahadus bein adam l'chavero is not a separate tchum, bein adam l'chavero is just another place where one's relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu manifests itself. One's avdus to Hakadosh Baruch Hu manifests itself in mitzvos which don't concern other people; it manifests itself in in in tefillah and in tefillin and in netilas lulav, in mitzvos which don't concern other people; and then one's one's avdus to the Ribbono Shel Olam manifests itself also bein adam l'chaveiro. But it's not the pshat that bein adam l'chaveiro is a separate tchum, which is sometimes how be-yoden or be-lo yoden is sometimes how we sort of translate that within within our minds. And and to to bring it back to the the example of v'halachta bidrachav of

מה הוא נקרא רחום אף אתה היה רחום, מה הוא נקרא חנון אף אתה היה חנון,

so the pshat is that it's not it's not the bein adam l'chaveiro per se. It's not the bein adam l'chaveiro which when it's spun off from bein adam l'makom which is the stepping stone to dveikus, but it's rather the pshat, it's rather the pshat that it's the bein adam l'makom, it's the הידמות להקדוש ברוך הוא of being a rachum, of being a chanun, that הידמות להקדוש ברוך הוא is is the stepping stone to the to the dveikus. It's the bein adam l'chaveiro again, but but what we really mean by that distinction between bein adam l'makom and bein adam l'chaveiro is that there are mitzvos between me and Hakadosh Baruch Hu which are private, that no one else comes into the picture. And then there are mitzvos between a person and the Ribbono Shel Olam which which affect other people, which affect other people. But that's the pshat in the in bein adam l'chaveiro. Al derech d'rush, in Parshas Bamidbar when the Torah tells us how Klal Yisrael camped with the Levi'im around the immediate perimeter of the Mishkan and then the yud-beis shevatim around the Levi'im, so the the message is that at the center of every human relationship stands the Mishkan, stands the Ribbono Shel Olam. But it's not the pshat, it's not the pshat that a person has his relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu and then he has his relationship with people. So I I have my relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu, then I have my relationship with my parents, with my spouse, with my children, with my friends. No, the Mishkan has to be at the center of everything. There's no there's no tchum in life which is a separate tchum. There are different things. So the Ribbono Shel Olam tells us what to do when we're in the beis medrash, tells us where to put the tefillin, tells us how to hold the lulav, he also tells us how to interact with with our chaverim. But there's no such thing as a tchum in life which which isn't a part of and isn't an expression of one's avdus to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. And in that sense, so it it shouldn't come as any surprise to us that the bein adam l'makom, excuse me, that what we refer to as bein adam l'chaveiro is can be so central and so crucial and so indispensable for shleimos, because it's not a it's not a separate tchum. It's yet another tchum, in the same way if you'll divide mitzvos into I don't know, into tefillah and and learning, okay, so it's no surprise to us that they can both be pivotal in in terms of in terms of achieving dveikus, in terms of achieving shleimos, that tefillah is pivotal, that Torah is pivotal. Okay, we don't it doesn't come as any surprise. So bein adam l'chaveiro is is no different. Sometimes when when people people hear this, so they they think that it's sort of it's sort of undercuts or if it's not downright antithetical to what the whole idea of chesed is. Because sometimes the way this registers in people is, so that means that if you're doing someone a tovah, so it means that you don't you don't really you don't really care about them, but adaraba, you feel that this is part of your this is part of your shibud to the Ribbono Shel Olam. And that that seems to be, right, that seems to create a tension. Now, when someone comes, if if a person is lying rachmana litzlan on a hospital bed, right? So if the sense you have is that that this person feels just a sense of obligation to someone or something else, and that's why he's visiting you, so then it doesn't necessarily cheer you up. No, if you have a sense, ah, he cares about me, he's thinking about me, he he loves me, he's concerned about me, so then that gives a person a boost. So does this definition we're giving So sometimes people think that this, this understanding of chesed really undercuts and undermines the chesed, but the emes is it's a false contrast because part of the mitzvah is, part of the mitzvah is again מה הוא נקרא רחום אף אתה תהא רחום is ein hachi nami, it's like a mitzvah. But the mitzvah is that I should have a genuine concern for the person lying in the hospital bed. So there's no tension there. It's not just that, it's not that that it's done with some kind of cold detachment and aloofness. No, the mitzvah gufa is that

מה הוא נקרא רחום אף אתה תהא רחום אף אתה תהא חנון

that a person should cultivate that sense of care and concern for the other person. So there is no, there is no, I'm not only no contradiction, there's no tension between the two because gufa the mitzvah is again that a person should have that, that, that human sense of empathy and concern and care for the other person. There are two other perhaps yesodos, two other ways in which our conduct bein adam lachaveiro reflects and is rooted in our relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu. The first, the first perspective we offered is the one from two weeks ago of vehalachta bidrachav, the hidammus l'Hakadosh Baruch Hu. And in that sense, how we interact with other people is part of our avodas Hakadosh Baruch Hu. This goes back to something we spoke about I think on one of the Thursday nights during chodesh Elul. If a person has the sense of shiflus which we should have before Hakadosh Baruch Hu, so that sense of shiflus has to affect and mold not only his relationship and attitude towards Hakadosh Baruch Hu, but it has to affect and mold his relationship with people as well. I think the mashal we gave then was that if you have someone who's an illegal alien. So the illegal alien, because of his own sense of shiflus, doesn't feel like he has any rights vis-a-vis other people. Doesn't feel like he has a right to be makpid on other people. Aderaba, he doesn't, because of that sense of shiflus that he has, I'm not even vis-a-vis the other illegal aliens, but they're not more legal than I am. But if a person really has this sense of shiflus, it has to, it has to, if it's genuine enough and deep enough, it also spills over into his relationship to other people. A person who feels that he exists bechasdei hamakom, again, the mashal of an illegal alien bechasdei hamakom, so such a person, such a person is going to be shofel vis-a-vis other people as well. And in that sense, our bein adam lachaveiro is a reflection of the bein adam lamakom. And finally, the other, the other perspective of how our, how it's our relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu, which is the, which should be the driving force and which should mold a person's bein adam lachaveiro as well is, on the one hand, one's self-image, one of shiflus, but on the other hand, one's image of others is, so often we look at other people and we see, I don't know, sometimes we see friends we like, and sometimes we see here's a nudnik and here's a and here's a vilde chaya and here's this and here's that, and we see a whole, a whole array of, if a person, if a person looks, if a person looks and sees before him not only a tzelam Elokim, but בנים אתם לה' אלהיכם, בנים אתם לה' אלהיכם. A person sees royalty, mamash, mamash royalty. So if a person's bein adam lachaveiro again doesn't, doesn't exist as a separate tchum, but his bein adam lamakom, his bein adam lamakom, so this is... Hakadosh Baruch Hu's בנים אתם לה' אלוהיכם. That that Hakadosh Baruch Hu says that he loves this person, so a person has a genuine, a genuine, a genuine ahavas Hashem, how can it not translate into an attitude of respect and concern and affection for the other? And and over the course of the year I hope we'll have occasion im yirtzeh Hashem to come back to this many times. It's a yesod gadol in tikkun hamiddos. And anytime there's a there's a fundamental hashkafa, fundamental perspective which if maintained translates into action. Again, such as the sense of shiflus and how that will how that will translate into action bein adam lachavero. Or the sense of seeing others as בנים אתם לה' אלוהיכם and how that translates. So the question is so how do I how do I maintain it? So the answer is is very simple. A person has to review it again and again and again. The way a person internalizes something, the way a person knows something that he always feels it is by constantly, constantly thinking to himself over the course of the day, 20, 25, 30 times. He tells him he tells himself the the being שפל לפני הקדוש ברוך הוא and what that implies vis-a-vis my behavior bein adam lachavero. A person tells it to himself again and again and again and again, so then gradually it becomes so internalized that that it's just it becomes a part of his consciousness, a part of his awareness, a part of his being, and then even without consciously thinking about it, it's something he's always feeling and will always translate into action.