Give you a good morning. I hope you all well. מכתב קכח. I think this letter, alongside the early one we saw about the distinction between a double life and a broad life, I think maybe the two most classic in in this section of of letters. אהובי חביבי שלום וברכה. Michtavcha Higia L'Yadai. U'Devarecha. udevarecha higiu l'levavi. דע לך חביבי כי עצם מכתבך מתנגד הוא לכל התיאורים הנמצאים בו.
The very fact of your letter contradicts stands in opposition to all the descriptions it contains. And I am by this to explain to you tochen mishpat zeh. Let me explain to you what that previous sentence means. Ra'a chola hi etzelnu. שכאשר מתעסקים אנו בצדדי השלמות של גדולינו הנהנו מטפלים בסיכום האחרון של מעלתם.
It's a sickness, an evil sickness in our midst that when we focus on the aspects and dimensions of the shleimus that our gedolim achieved, that we do so just looking at the final result. מספרים אנו על דרכי השלמות שלהם. We describe the different facets of their shleimus besha'a she'anachnu medalgrim while we skip על המאבק הפנימי שהתחולל בנפשם over the inner struggle that was waged within their soul. הרושם של שיחתנו על הגדולים מתקבל כאילו יצאו מתחת יד היוצר בקומתם וצביונם.
The impression from our discussion our conversation about gedolim which is then received which is conveyed as though they were created that way by Hakadosh Baruch Hu as though that full stature and that full character that they had that they were born that way. הכל משוחחים הכל מתפעלים all talk everyone's impressed tremendously tremendously overwhelmed we have hispa'alus merimim al neis and we elevate as on a banner טהרת הלשון של בעל החפץ חיים זצ"ל the Chafetz Chayim's shmiras halashon. Aval mi yodei'a who knows min kol hamilchamos all the wars hama'avakim the struggles hamichsholim the stumblings hanefilos the times that he fell hanesiga l'achor and regression שמצא החפץ חיים בדרך המלחמה שלו עם יצרו הרע. משל אחד מני אלף.
That is just one mashal of a thousand. Again that's an idiom not intended literally. ודי לנבון שכמותך לדון מן הפרט על הכלל. And that suffices for someone discerning such as yourself to extrapolate from that particular instance and recognize what the general rule is. The result of this what he described so forcefully as a ra'a chola this sort of romanticized view and version of how gedolim achieved gadlus as though they're superhuman as though they didn't have battles with a yetzer hara as though they didn't have times of yerida. The result from this is when you have a young young man of spirit ba'al ruach ba'al she'ifa with aspiration ba'al tsisah is what's fermenting motzei be'atzmo michsholim when he detects within himself that he has stumbled nefilos that he has fallen yeridos הרי הוא דומה בעיניו כבלתי שתול בבית השם. So he sees himself as not being planted in the house of God. I suspect of the shofel bevais Hashem was is a quote from what this talmid had written to him. He sees himself that obviously that that I'm I my experience so starkly contrasts with that of tzadikim, of chasidim, so clearly they're the ones who are shusulum who are planted bevais Hashem, but but that's not the case with me. So the dimyonos of naar zeh, according to the imagination, obviously intended the totally erroneous imagination of naar zeh להיות שתול בבית השם, he thinks, foolishly, erroneously, that להיות שתול בבית השם פירושו הוא לשבת בשלוות הנפש על נאות דשא.
To to be sitting with perfect tranquility as though you were painting a scene of a beautiful day out in the field in the country and and someone is sitting on the grass not far from a beautiful still pond. פירושו הוא לשבת בשלוות נפש על נאות דשא שם מי מנוחות ולהנות מיצר הטוב
and to be enjoying his yetzer hatov כדרך שהצדיקים נהנים מזיו השכינה שעטרותיהם בראשיהם במסיבת גן עדן.
Leidach gissa, לא להיות מורגז מסרס היצר, al derech hakasuv shalva mesim chofshi. And on the other hand, again this is also part of the dimyonos, that the person thinks erroneously that the yetzer hara is powerless, has no effect on him. That's what it means להיות שתול בבית השם. אבל דע לך חביבי ששורש נשמתך הוא לא השלווה של היצר הטוב,
you should know that the root of your neshama is not that tranquility of the yetzer hatov, אלא דווקא מלחמתו של היצר הטוב. What it means to be shosul bevais Hashem is to be to be marshalling the koach of the yetzer hatov in a milchama. Umichtavcha hayakar hanovav and your heartfelt precious letter מעיד כמאה עדים כי אכן לוחם נאמן אתה בצבאותיו של יצר הטוב,
that you're a faithful warrior among the forces of the yetzer hatov. In English they say lose a battle and win the war. בוודאי שהנך נכשל ועומד להיות נכשל. You have been nichshal and you will be nichshal. אין בזה משום פתיחת פה לשטן. Why not? So presumably to be poseach pe lasatan means to sort of invite something that doesn't have to happen, that bederech hateva won't won't necessarily happen, so why should a person be פותח פה לשטן רחמנא ליצלן? But here what Rav Hutner is telling him and he wants him to know this so that he won't be discouraged and he won't be demoralized is that while a person is never ever supposed to be complacent and allow himself to be nichshal, but he has to recognize that that it is normal and that it is natural, ואדם אין צדיק בארץ אשר יעשה טוב ולא יחטא. בוודאי שהנך נכשל ועומד להיות נכשל
uvichama maarachos and in several campaigns tipol shadud. You will be captured by the yetzer hara temporarily. אבל אני מבטיח לך, I guarantee you, שלאחר הפסד כל המערכות, after even all those battles, all those campaigns that you lose, tetzei min hamilchama, you'll you'll emerge from the war כשזר הניצחון על ראשך והטרף החד מפרפר בין שיניך. to that you ripped from the the enemy will be dripping from between your teeth. Lose battles but win wars. Hechacham mikol adam Shlomo Hamelech says אמר שבע יפול צדיק וקם. Vehatipshim choshvim says Harav Hutner כי כוונתו בדרך בדיעבד. Tipshim think that what that the pshat in in the pasuk is that despite bederech b'diavad, it is a chiddush, despite the fact that the tzaddik falls, אף על פי כן he is kam. אף על פי ששבע יפול צדיק מכל מקום הוא קם. אבל החכמים יודעים היטב
but hachachamim know very well that that is not the pshat in the pasuk שהכוונה היא שמהות הקימה של הצדיק היא דרך השבע נפילות שלו.
No, the nefilos are part of the of the path of ascent, it is not despite the fact. It is through the nefila. וירא אלקים את כל אשר עשה והנה טוב מאד, so the Medrash says טוב זה יצר טוב מאד זה יצר הרע. When when a person is nichshal, so it is it is as if as if as if he was he was given a a spiritual MRI. Whenever a person is nichshal, it it is part of a process of self-discovery in the sense that it highlights for me where my weaknesses, what my inadequacies are. And in that sense it contributes to to becoming better and and stronger, provided that the reaction to being nichshal is is the right one. When a person is nichshal, in the in the aftermath of that, the determination not to let that happen again becomes greater and the effort becomes even even more more intense and maybe more intense that it was possible for him to have marshaled before. Obviously this is a very very important yesod. It is difficult if not impossible to to exaggerate the the importance of of this perspective. Me'idach gisa, it is also a davar hamasur laleiv, it is it is not an invitation for us to be complacent and to to not do our best to avoid being nichshal. The point is that that a person has to on the one hand be doing his best and know that אף על פי כן part of the mahalach of of life is the שבע יפול צדיק וקם. Ahuvi הנני לוחץ אותך אל לבי, I I hold you, I press you to my heart, ulochesh be'oznecha and I whisper into your ears כאילו היה מכתבך מספר לי על אודות המצוות ומעשים טובים שלך הייתי אומר שקיבלתי ממך מכתב טוב. עכשיו שמכתבך מספר על דבר ירידות ונפילות ומכשולים הנני אומר שקיבלתי ממך מכתב טוב מאד
based on on the Medrash that he just quoted. Veruchacho so'eres, your your spirit is in turmoil, is is churning, is turbulent, וגרות השאיפה להיות גדול. You you aspire, you yearn for gadlus, bevakasha mimcha, please al tatzayer le'atzmecha, don't don't envision for yourself גדולים שהם ביצר הטוב בבחינת חדא. That the only thing that they and their yetzer hatov are one and the same. There is nothing to them other than a yetzer hatov. That is not the case, it never was the case, it isn't the case. לעומת זה צייר בנפשך גדלותם. לעומת זאת צייר בנפשך גדלותם של גדולי עולם באוסיה של מלחמה נוראה עם כל הנטיות השפלות והנמוכות.
No, what you should imagine, what you should envision for yourself is the gadlus of gedolei olam that emerged after an awesome battle and war with all the low base inclinations. ובזמן שהנך מרגיש בקרבך סערת היצר and when you feel again the tempest of the yeitzer hara, דע לך שבזה הנך משתווה אל הגדולים הרבה יותר מאשר בשעה שאתה נמצא במנוחה שלמה שאתה רוצה בה. דוקא באותם המקומות שהנך מוצא בעצמך הירידות הכי מרובות,
right, in those areas in which you find the most yeridos, דוקא באותם המקומות עומד הינך להיות כלי להצטיינות של כבוד שמים.
The Rav used to say that Reb Chaim once told the Rav's father, Reb Moshe, that Reb Chaim, we know Reb Chaim ledorei doros as a gaon olam and the gaon of kama vekama doros in Torah. The people in Brisk knew Reb Chaim as the most incredible paragon of chessed. The accounts of Reb Chaim's chessed are as extraordinary in the tchum of chessed as his chiddishei Torah are unparalleled and extraordinary in the tchum of learning. The Rav said on Reb Chaim's original matzeivah, it's not the matzeivah that's in Warsaw now, apparently the original one was destroyed at some point, the Rav said on Reb Chaim's original matzeivah what was inscribed were the words Rav Chessed. That's it, nothing about the gadlus in Torah, Rav Chessed. So Reb Chaim once said to his son, to Reb Moshe Soloveitchik, the Rav's father, he said to him, don't think I was born this way. I had to work very hard on myself. That's exactly this yesod of this letter. There's no reason and a person is not supposed to, mita'amei tzniyus, a person is not supposed to gratuitously publicize his struggles with the yeitzer hara. A person needs an eitzah, he needs hadracha, avada avada, he shouldn't be embarrassed to seek that eitzah and seek that hadracha, but a person doesn't gratuitously reveal struggles with the yeitzer hara. Bichlal, a person doesn't gratuitously reveal his inner life. There's a reason that the heart is inside the body and not external. A person is not supposed to wear his heart on his sleeve. So because of that, the gedolim don't necessarily, not too many gedolim write autobiographies or memoirs the way Reb Yaakov Emden did. So if not for such a letter from Rav Hutner, if not for such a kabbalah from Reb Chaim, we wouldn't necessarily know. I think Rav Pinkus writes where is this printed maybe it's printed in I don't know if it's in the Sefer on Tefilah or the Sefer on Shabbos meaning the ones that he published in his lifetime still that sort of that when the Shaarei Torah opened for him was it was the night of Bedikas Chametz. I think he said he was in the dorm or something and he had very exhaustively and exhaustingly done bedika and was totally oisgemattet. I don't know it was two or three in the morning and then it occurred to him that there was one general communal area that all the bochurim had access to and it occurred to him that you know maybe no one had been bodek and he started rationalizing to himself why it wasn't really his responsibility vechulu vechulu. And the yetzer hara was telling him you did such a good job already you're exhausted you're not going to be able to stay awake for the seder if you do anymore now you have to go to sleep. And he says that איך שהוא הוא מתגבר on the yetzer hara and he went and he was bodek that area and he said that from then on things were different. He said he was never as alert and energetic at the seder as he was the following night and he just felt that the gates had opened had opened wide. That there are struggles you know the I guess the classic source for this not so much the source in terms of the struggle with the yetzer hara say of netyos of netyos shefelos venemuchos but in terms of struggles is the Gemara's account of Rabbi Akiva. And it was only when Rabbi Akiva realized that no you need the perseverance to be misgaber. הנך רוצה לגנוב דעתי שחשבת עכשיו שהנך נמצא בקו התפר בעוד שבאמת הנך כך וכך ועוד כך ושבע פעמים כך ואני מעיד לך כל השבע פעמים הללו בשבילי ובדת היסוד היא במשך החורף העבר חשת לך ידיעה הגונה בהלכות נזקי ממון.
I guess they learned Bava Kamma. חזרת כמה פעמים על המסכת שלמדת לא תכחיש את זה זוהי העובדה המכריעה ובעובדה זו גנוז סוד הניצחון במאבק היצר הרע שלך.
As long as you're doing your best again it's a davar hamasur lalev this isn't an invitation to complacency but you're trying. I know that how do I know the difference between whether or not you're not really trying and whether it's complacency or whether it's a bechina of שבע יפול צדיק וקם. The fact you're consistent dedication devotion and determination in Talmud torah and there is where the secret of victory lies. הנך כותב למה אשכח הרצון שיביא להצליח ולעלות מחיל אל חיל אבל חבל כבר אבדה תקוותי ואיני יודע כיצד אתה מעז פנים להכחיש מציאות חיה.
How do you have the chutzpah to deny a living reality? האם אתה לא עלית מחיל אל חיל מאותו זמן שנכנס לבית מדרש מכיר אני אותך שאינך בעל עזות כזה.
You're not such a brazen person. אלא שהם הם הדברים אם מוצא אתה בעצמך שיצר הרע מתגבר עליך.
If you think when you find, excuse me, when you when you see that there are moments when the yetzer hara overcomes you, הנך חושב בטיפשותך ובתמימותך שכבר אבדה תקוותך. דבריך פשוט מביאים לידי גיחוך.
It's absurd what you're saying. That's absolutely absurd to to think that that your hope is lost and and that you have to abandon those she'ifot that you have for gadlut because there have been moments and times when the yetzer hara has been mitgaber alecha. It's foolish and it's naive and it's absurd. משתתף אני בסבלך הרע. I I am empathetic to your suffering but you should know aval hasevel haze this suffering הוא הוא הרחם של הגדלות. It's the womb of of greatness. ראיתי את פניך בשעת עיון והלכה. ראיתי את פניך בשעת הקשבה לשיעורים. ראיתי את פניך בליל שביעי של פסח.
Rav Hutner parabled like like a Rebbe so so Rebbes have a Rebbe Tish, shvi'i shel pesach, for kriyat yam suf. האותיות החרוטות על פניך בשעות הנ"ל. The signs that were etched into your face at those times הן אותיות של סוף הכבוד לבוא. They're all indications that you're going to prevail. Ein shvil hakavod, again אין כבוד אלא תורה. Ein shvil hakavod, the path of of kavod, mitpateil derech mishor. It doesn't go on a doesn't go straight. שביל הכבוד עובר מסתובב כנחש עלי דרך וכשפיפון עלי אורח.
There are all kinds of of turns and and twists. ארסו של נחש בקרבך. You feel the poison, the venom of the snake within you so you should know that yes, hu yeshufecha akev but ve'ata teshufenu rosh. מצאתי לנכון להציע לך דברים הללו בכתב. הכוונה היא לתת לך יכולת להזדקק להם מדי פעם בפעם
so you can come back and and review them periodically. מובן מאליו שמפאת זה לא הייתה הכוונה אלא לקו הכללי.
So therefore it's understood that that my intent here was only to give general hadracha. Uvno'gei lenekudot pratiot which are very much circumstance circumstance-specific, בזה יפה כוחו של הדיבור החי פנים אל פנים. אתה הוא השעשועים בבית ה' בהשתתפות בסבלך בביטחון בניצחונך בתפילה להצלחתך.
Now הנך מבין את המשפט הראשון של המכתב כי עצם מכתבך מתנגד הוא לכל התיאורים הנמצאים בו.
I assume this first letter was that that he said something to the effect of avda tikvati, that you know that I missed my chance, I'm I'm I no longer can can achieve what I had yearned and and desired to achieve. And then Rav Hutner tells him no, the struggles that you're describing, the fact that that the yetzer hara prevails not because you're complacent but only because you're beaten down, the whole thrust of your letter contradicts what what you wrote in the opening line, the whole thrust of your letter, it's clear that that whatever nefilot you've had have been בבחינת שבע יפול צדיק וקם. If a person easily, glibly, complacently gives in to a yetzer hara, that's not Rav Hutner's letter, that's not שבע יפול צדיק וקם, but but if a person again struggles and loses the struggle, that's what Rav Hutner's describing as שבע יפול צדיק וקם. Okay rabosai, be'ezrat Hashem we'll reconvene at at 1:30 just in case I...