Rava omeid al midosav מעביר על כל פשעיו. Rashi explains ma'avir al midosav שאינו מדקדק למדוד מידה למצערים אותו. He doesn't give back a measure of tza'ar. He doesn't reciprocate by giving out a measure of tza'ar, a mida of tza'ar, even though he suffered a mida of tza'ar from someone else. He's ma'avir al midosav. He, as it were, he passes up his right to respond in kind. According to the girsa that most of the Rishonim have in in the Gemara in Yoma, so technically the pshuto shel hadin, nekama unetira is only assur bedavar shebemamon, but betza'ara degufa is not mamash assur. But the person is ma'avir al midosav. So מעבירין לו על כל פשעיו. אין מידת הדין מדקדקת אחריהן אלא מנחתן והולכת.
So the midas hadin also bypasses and doesn't give him a measure of punishment, Rachmana litzlan, for his aveiros. shene'emar נושא עון ועובר על פשע. למי נושא עון למי שעובר על פשע?
Or the Gaon's girsa: למי עובר על פשע למי שנושא על עון. רב הונא בריה דרב יהושע חלש. רב פפא בדיק בה ושייא בבי.
Rav Papa came for bikur cholim. חזייה דחלש ליה עלמא. He saw that his situation was very grave and he thought that the Rachmana litzlan he was going to die. אמר להו צביתו ליה זוודתא. He told the attendants that they should prepare tachrichin. lesof itpech. And then רב הונא בריה דרב יהושע recovered. הוה ניכסיף רב פפא למיחזייה. Rav Papa was embarrassed. Rav Papa had said in his presence that he thought he was going to be niftar. So אמרו ליה מאי חזית? They asked רב הונא בריה דרב יהושע who had this near-death experience, what did you see? You were somewhat beyond olam hazeh, so you were outside of this olam hasheker. You saw emes. What did you see? So אמר להו אין הכי הוה. The truth is that Rav Papa read the situation correctly. I was supposed to die. Rashi says nigzera alai misa. I had been sentenced to death. ואמר להו הקדוש ברוך הוא הואיל ולא מוקם במיליה לא תקומו בהדיה.
Since he, רב הונא בריה דרב יהושע, has this mida of being ma'avir al midosav, he doesn't, again, he lets go. He's forgiving. He's yielding. He lets go, passes up, bypasses. So therefore, we have to treat him that way as well. shene'emar נושא עון ועובר על פשע למי נושא עון לעובר על פשע.
So it seems pretty clear from the Gemara that the pshat in what Rava was saying of כל המעביר על מדותיו מעבירין לו על כל עונותיו is a mida keneged mida. And that's what seems to be indicated just in Rava's very lashon and certainly the follow-up story with רב הונא בריה דרב יהושע seems to reinforce that. mida keneged mida. The Maharal says it as well. veyesh lehachor as is always the case with divrei Chazal in omek as well. So let's see if a little bit of the omek we can penetrate and understand. Mesillas Yesharim... says that sometimes people delude themselves into thinking that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is rachum vechanun, she-erech apayim, ve-rav chesed. So a person doesn't have to be so careful about what he does because Hakadosh Baruch Hu is so kind and so compassionate. ולהוציא מלב הרוצה להתפתות ולחשוב שלא יעלה האדון ברוך הוא בדקדוק הדברים הקלים ולא יקח חשבון עליהם.
Hakadosh Baruch Hu is not going to look at the little things, maybe he'll just look at the big picture but he's not going to look at the little, the little details. So to come to, to counter that grave mistake, אלא הכלל הוא כל האומר הקדוש ברוך הוא וותרן ייוותרו חייו.
A person says that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is yielding, that Hakadosh Baruch Hu doesn't pay attention then his life won't be paid attention to. וכן אמרו אם יאמר לך יצר הרע חטא והקדוש ברוך הוא מוחל לך.
What's such a big deal, Hakadosh Baruch Hu is forgiving, he's not going to be so, he's not going to be so strict, and you can get away with it. Hakadosh Baruch Hu mochal lach, al tishma lo. There are two things that we either forget and don't think about Hakadosh Baruch Hu and that's one, that's one way that paves the way for cheit and the other is this self-deception, that Hakadosh Baruch Hu's not going to, he's not going to pay so much attention, he's just not so, he's not so strict, he's not so... וזה דבר פשוט ומבואר כי הנה אל אמת השם וכמה שאמר משה רבנו עליו השלום הצור תמים פעלו כי כל דרכיו משפט אל אמונה ואין עול.
Hakadosh Baruch Hu, kol drachav mishpat. We can't say that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is not going to care, no, he cares about everything because kol drachav mishpat. So then Mesillas Yesharim has to confront the question so where does teshuvah fit into the picture? If כי כל דרכיו משפט and according to a strict middas hadin there doesn't seem to be an opening for teshuvah, so how is there, how is there room for teshuvah? So basically what Mesillas Yesharim answers is that rachamim o chesed can be in either of two ways. There can be rachamim o chesed which contradicts din, which is a stira le-middas hadin or you can have rachamim o chesed which is that pure din alone wouldn't, wouldn't generate this, but the rachamim o chesed is consistent with a middas hadin. It's something which is mistyashev with a middas hadin. משל למה הדבר דומה. Parents can't be so rigid, parents can't be, they can't raise children purely with a middas hadin. Avada there has to be a middas harachamim, has to be a middas hachesed in raising children. But if the middas harachamim, middas hachesed is one that whatever the child does is okay, a rachamim o chesed which contradicts din, so then you spoil the child and that no longer we don't perceive that as rachamim o chesed anymore, just stam spoiling the child. So too kaveyachol Hakadosh Baruch Hu if the parent is understanding when a child makes a mistake and gives a child a second chance and encourages the child and doesn't give up on the child but ultimately expects the child to improve, not whatever you do is okay, so that's a rachamim... and that's a chessed which is consistent with middas hadin. So says the Mesillas Yesharim, that's pshat in tshuva. ואם תאמר אם כן מדת הרחמים למה היא עומדת כיון שעל כל פנים צריך לדקדק בדין על כל דבר התשובה ודאי מדת הרחמים היא קיומו של עולם שלא היה עומד זולתו כלל וכלל ואף על פי כן אין מדת הדין לוקה.
Hakadosh Baruch Hu's rachamim, Hakadosh Baruch Hu's chessed is a rachamim, is a chessed which is compatible with din, which is consistent with din. Then specifically he says the way tshuva works is the chessed, the rachamim is consistent with din in the sense that the charata, the regret, the remorse, the anguish that I have now over my past chatoim, so that's a kapara on the ratzon, on the will, the desire that I had to do it. Not that Hakadosh Baruch Hu just forgets the cheit, but the rachamim, the chessed is consistent with din where Hakadosh Baruch Hu allows again my charata now, my regret, my remorse now, he allows that to compensate for the ratzon that I had to do the cheit and the tza'ar that I have now as part of the tshuva process is the antidote, compensates for the hana'ah that I had from the cheit. That Mesillas Yesharim says is a chessed, is a rachamim which is consistent with middas hadin. And that's Hakadosh Baruch Hu's middah of chessed and rachamim. Not a middah of chessed and rachamim which is not emesdik, but emesdike chessed, emesdike rachamim. Lav b'di'avad when Hakadosh Baruch Hu says the יג מדות הרחמים השם השם קל רחום וחנון ארך אפים ורב חסד ואמת.
So what's emes doing in the middos harachamim? אלא הן הן הדברים, and that's what Ramchal is talking about that rachamim also has to be emesdik. It's not a rachamim which is, which is totally divorced from emes. It has to be a rachamim that's also emesdik. So that means l'chora according to Ramchal that kavyachol when Hakadosh Baruch Hu is weighing to forgive us, since kol drachav mishpat, so we have to make sure that we've allowed the mechilas avonos to be a chessed, to be a rachamim which is מתיישב עם מדת הדין. We can't be asking Hakadosh Baruch Hu for a mechilas avonos which would be soser middas hadin because Hakadosh Baruch Hu doesn't do that because, because that would be wrong. כי כל דרכיו משפט. כל המעביר על מדותיו מעבירין לו על כל פשעיו,
middah k'neged middah. But what's the pshat? It means that now there's an emes to mechilas avonos. In addition to the emes of mechilas avonos of the charata counteracting the ratzon hacheit, of the tza'ar of tshuva counteracting, compensating for the hana'ah of the cheit. But now there's an emes to mechilas avonos. Why is this emesdik? Why is this emesdik? במדה שאדם מודד מודדין לו. מדתו של הקדוש ברוך הוא
is middah k'neged middah. It's an emes, it's emesdik that a person deserves to be treated the way he treats others. A person is ma'avir al middosav. A person okay so, so you pogea me, so what? Okay. Okay, I'm ready to, I'm ready to reconcile. I'm ready to reconcile, just say the word. Any time, ready to reconcile. So then there's an emes for mechilas avonos. And the question again that is asked in בית דין של מעלה about: is this person a candidate for mechilas avonos in a way that's מתיישבת עם מדת הדין? When a person can bring to the Beis, when a person brings, again, as part of his candidacy, as part of his application. So in בית דין של מעלה it's clear that this is a person who's ma'avir al midosav, so there's an emes to it. V'funei lo b'yeshuah, so he wasn't he's not makpid on others. When people wronged him, okay, iz vus, somewhat, somewhat, let it be. Let it be. There's an emes that he deserves to be treated that way. Again, Aseres Yemei Teshuvah, in addition to everything else which which rightfully preoccupies us and and should preoccupy us in these days, le-chora we do ourselves a big favor if we try to review all the relationships in our lives and to see where there's room to to develop and to implement the middah of being ma'avir al midoseinu. And most likely, and it's true maybe for everyone, certainly true for many people, most people there are difficult people in our lives, difficult people in our lives. Whatever, whatever the relationship may be, but it's not an uncommon thing that we have to contend with difficult people in our lives. Whoever it may be in any it may be it may be someone in the family, it may be someone in the in the in the workplace, it may be someone in whatever whatever our surroundings. Wherever we move, wherever we spend time, wherever we interact with people, it's not uncommon that there are difficult people in our lives. A difficult person can be a source of, can be vexing, can be angering, can be frustrating, or can be an opportunity for the middah of of being ma'avir al midosav. It's difficult in a certain way, in a certain sense it's almost unnatural on one level to be ma'avir al midoseinu because there's a natural impulse that a person wants to be vindicated. There's a natural impulse that if a person is wronged he wants to make that known. He wants that that should be known. And and that easily translates into saying something that that in in my attitude towards the person that should be nikar. Besides the the motivation, the impetus, the chizuk provided by כל המעביר על מדותיו מעבירין לו על כל פשעיו and mistama, mistama lashon pesha, cheit avon v'pesha is being used the same way. It means not only מעבירין לו על חטאו בשוגג, not only מעבירין לו על עונותיו במזיד, but ma'avirim lo even al pesha'im, even be-ofen shel mered. Mistama the Gemara is is Rava is choosing his words very carefully. Not only cheit va-avon is nimchal, not only is מעביר לו על על חטאו ועונותיו, but even pesha'im. So le-chora that certainly should provide enough enough of an impetus to be mechazek us. But beyond that if a person would realize, if we would think, if we would stop and think, that whenever someone wrongs us, Hakadosh Baruch Hu sees, Hakadosh Baruch Hu knows. If a person is insulted, if a person doesn't have to say anything. The only ultimate audience that counts is Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Hakadosh Baruch Hu knows. He doesn't need me to point it out to him. Hakadosh Baruch Hu knows. The problem is that too often we're concerned with being vindicated in the human arena. We're concerned with being vindicated either by the person who's the ma'aliv or other people who may have witnessed it, maybe aware of it. The more a person tries to realize that the audience that counts, he is vindicated. He doesn't need to say anything, he doesn't need to have the last word, so the easier it is to be ma'avir al middosav. B'stama according to the Mesillas Yesharim, that's what Chazal mean again when Rashi quotes in the beginning of Parshas Bereishis, Hakadosh Baruch Hu is משתף מדת הרחמים עם מדת הדין means that again the rachamim has to be emess'diker rachamim, emess'diker rachamim, not a rachamim which contradicts din. As it were, this balance that as it were kavyachol Hakadosh Baruch Hu maintains, that Hakadosh Baruch Hu strikes between the din and the rachamim, that middas ha'emess is one of the is included in י"ג מדות הרחמים that the rachamim has to be misyashev im ha'emess teaches us about a balance that we have to have and how we go about trying to do teshuvah. Dehainu. Mitzad echad we have to be aware as the Mesillas Yesharim says that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is medakdek b'kala k'chamura that afilu sicha kala Hakadosh Baruch Hu recounts to us and Hakadosh Baruch Hu expects us to be able to answer for. Similarly, we have to know what Rabbeinu Yonah explains in his first and third ikkar in the Sha'arei Teshuvah: יבין לבבו כי רב אשמת ה' וישיב אל לבו כי יש עונש ונקם ושילום על העוון. העיקר השלישי הידום ישתומם כליותיו ויחשוב כמה רבה רעת מי שהמרה יוצרו ויגדל יבין לבבו.
So corresponding to the fact that Hakadosh Baruch Hu again rachamim notwithstanding is kel elokei mishpat, we have to take that to heart and it's an awareness which is frightening, an awareness which is sobering. The same way Hakadosh Baruch Hu's middas hadin is combined with a middas harachamim, again be'ofan shel emess, be'ofan that it's misyashev im ha'emess, but there is a middas harachamim there, tremendous, infinite middas harachamim. So too we have to know that mitzad echad yes Hakadosh Baruch Hu afilu sicha kala, little casual conversations are part of the din vecheshbon that we have to give, but m'idach gissa is ימינו פשוטה לקבל שבים. M'idach gissa is הבא ליטהר מסייעין אותו. The same Rabbeinu Yonah again who describes in terms... The Rabbeinu Yona again, who describes in terms potentially depressing just the magnitude of chet, tells us as one of the reasons for the מצות אכילה ערב יום הכפורים that it's a simcha about the impending mechilas avonos. So the same way with Hakadosh Baruch Hu, again, kiviyachol, Hakadosh Baruch Hu has this balance, this blending of din and rachamim, so too in our approach to teshuva, again, there has to be an element of eimah v'pachad, there has to be an element of yagon v'anacha, but also there has to be an element of optimism, of hope, of simcha, and the same way with Hakadosh Baruch Hu, the din and rachamim are compatible, so so too in our attempt to do teshuva. Just one last me'inyan l'inyan in terms of the ma'avir al midosav. The pasuk also talks about בחסד ואמת יכופר עון. That even if a person's chata'im, let's say עבירות בין אדם למקום, the kapara, the mechila is affected also by what happens in the arena bein adam l'chaveiro. In addition to what we spoke about until now in terms of the מידה כנגד מידה שבו וכולו, there is another element as well, and that's the following: part of teshuva, part of being ra'uy for kapara is that a person should totally be mevatel himself to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Relatively speaking, it's easier to be mevatel oneself to Hakadosh Baruch Hu in the realm of bein adam la-makom than it is in bein adam l'chaveiro. Dehainu, dehainu, if I have to forego a lucrative job offer because they want me to do things that are shelo k'din. My mesiras nefesh that I'm being mevatel myself to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. When my hitbatlus to Hakadosh Baruch Hu expresses itself by being mevatel myself in front of another person, that's much harder to do. The example of that: the Rambam in Hilchos Mamrim: עד היכן כיבוד אב ואם אפילו נטלו כיס של זהובים שלו והשליכוהו לפניו לים לא יכלים אותם ולא יצעק בפניהם ולא יכעוס כנגדם אלא יקבל גזרת הכתוב וישתוק ועד היכן מוראם אפילו היה לובש בגדים חמודות ויושב בראש בפני הכל ובאו אביו ואמו וקרעו בגדיו והכוהו על ראשו וירקו בפניו לא יכלים אותם אלא ישתוק ויירא ויפחד ממלך המלכים שציווהו בכך.
By being misbatel before people, by doing chesed for someone who, I don't know, it might seem doesn't really deserve the chesed, certainly not the way he's acted towards me doesn't seem like he deserves the chesed, being ma'avir al midosav, doing chesed is a greater nisayon to someone who it doesn't seem that he deserves it is a greater nisayon of his bitul before Hakadosh Baruch Hu than it is purely in the realm of bein adam la-makom, because bein adam la-makom, a person mevatel himself to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, not so difficult. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is ram v'nisa, shalem beyond our ability to describe, we can't describe it, and pachisus ha'adam, pachisus ha'adam. But when the nisayon is that I have to, I have to absorb the bizyonos from another person, and אף על פי כן being ma'avir al midosav and אף על פי כן return with chesed, it's a greater nisayon, much greater nisayon, and for that reason because it's a greater nisayon, it's a greater act of hisbatlus, a greater act of hisbatlus. The ratzon we have to provide and ba-oto zman assigning ourselves the ratzon we have to provide. The ratzon we have to provide. We should do our best to do that. Ha-Kadosh Baruch Hu should help us how to implement it, to be maged amdotenu, to be zoche to a gmar chatima tova, מברך לו ולכל עמו.