Transcript

Last week we spoke based on the Maharsha at the end of Megillah about teshuvah as a mitzvah temidit. The truth is that basically it's a Mishnah in Pirkei Avot with which we're all familiar. The Mishnah says ושוב יום אחד לפני מיתתך. The Yerushalmi comments that since a person doesn't know אין אדם יודע קיצו, so mimmela נמצאו כל ימיו בתשובה. Now the clear unmistakable mashma'ut in the Rishonim is that it's not that this is just a fallout from our ignorance, from our lack of knowledge of when yom hamisah is, so then mimmela since ושוב יום אחד לפני מיתתך, so as a sort of unintended consequence or corollary, it results that kol yamav b'teshuvah. No, the impression you have, you look in the leshonot of the Rishonim, is that that's what Rabbi Eliezer was trying to accomplish. That what Rabbi Eliezer was trying to accomplish is נמצאו כל ימיו בתשובה. So teshuvah is a mitzvah temidit. I'd like to somewhat briefly tonight begin to talk about special zemanim of teshuvah other than the ones that immediately come to mind in terms of Chodesh Elul and Aseret Yemei Teshuvah. Other special zemanim of teshuvah. The Mishnah Berurah basically being matik from the Magen Avraham at the end of Siman Resh-Lamed-Tet writes as follows:

כתבו הספרים שבלילה קודם השינה נכון לאדם שיפשפש במעשיו שעשה כל היום ואם ימצא שעשה עבירה יתוודה עליה ויקבל על עצמו שלא לעשותה עוד ובפרט בעוונות המצויים כגון חניפות שקרים ליצנות לשון הרע וכן עוון ביטול תורה צריכים בדיקה ביותר. גם ראוי למחול לכל מי שחטא כנגדו וציערו ובזכות זה האדם מאריך ימיו.

Now the peshat is that this zeman of lifnei hashenah as a zeman for teshuvah is based on the Mesillat Yesharim that we discussed last week, Mesillat Yesharim in Perek Gimmel:

הנני רואה צורך לאדם שיהיה מדקדק ושוקל דרכיו דבר יום ביומו. כסוחרים הגדולים אשר יפלסו תמיד כל עסקיהם למען לא יתקלקלו ויקבע עתים ושעות לזה שלא יהיה משקלו עראי אלא בקביעות גדול כי רב התולדה הוא.

So the simple peshat in the Magen Avraham is that the natural time for this daily cheshbon hanefesh, and again the cheshbon hanefesh isn't intended to be a sterile cheshbon hanefesh, if the cheshbon hanefesh uncovers something, it's supposed to be a cheshbon hanefesh which prompts, which inspires teshuvah. So the simple peshat in the Magen Avraham is that the natural time for that is at night. That's the natural time to take stock. Lich'ora, and this is certainly true, Lich'ora there is perhaps a little bit of an omek that we can appreciate in the beautiful pizmon of Odeh Lakeil. I think the niggun is supposed to be from Rav Chaim Volozhiner. So one of the stanzas goes as follows: עורו נא כי בכל לילה נשמתכם עולה למעלה. Arouse, be aroused, arouse yourself because every night nishmaschem olah l'ma'lah לתת דין וחשבון מפעלה ליוצר ערב ובוקר. Every night the neshamah goes to give Hakadosh Baruch Hu a din vecheshbon. cheshbon on what it did on what the person did during the course of the day. The makor apparently for for the meshorer here in in this idea if you take a look in the Piskei Teshuvos on Reish Lamed Tes on that Magen Avraham and the Mishnah Berurah we just mentioned so he quotes in in Hebrew translation from the Zohar Hakadosh that the Zohar Hakadosh says as follows:

באו וראו בשעה שבני אדם ישנים וטועמים טעם המות והנשמה עולה למעלה היא עומדת במקום שעומדת ונבחנת על מעשיה שעשתה כל היום וכותבים אותם בספר.

Venivchenes, it's it's being analyzed, scrutinized, tested.

כי הנשמה עולה למעלה ומעידה על מעשיו של האדם ועל כל מילה ומילה שהוציא מפיו. וכשהמילה שהוציא היא כראוי מילה קדושה של תורה ותפילה המילה ההיא בוקעת רקיעים.

It it pierces heavens, it pierces rekiyim.

וכשהמילה אינה כראוי כלשון הרע וכולי רשמין המילה והעוון על האדם.

It's registered.

וזהו שנאמר משוכבת חיקך שמור פתחי פיך. רבי יהודה אומר כל מה שהאדם עושה בכל יום נשמתו מעידה בו בלילה.

So the pshat says and and it's clear from from looking at at the Zohar Hakadosh here that that when the Zohar speaks of of a nightly din vecheshbon, it's not that the Zohar Hakadosh here right the Gemara in in Rosh Hashanah on daf tes-zayin quotes a braisa with the different views of the Tannaim as to when adam is nidon. So Rabbi Yose is of the opinion that אדם נידון בכל יום. That a person is is nidon daily. So the pshat says that's not what the Zohar Hakadosh, that's not what the meshorer are referring to, but rather משל למה הדבר דומה. You have a person who has he's given a contract for a year. Given a contract for a year. And and whether or not the contract is going to be renewed is is not going to be decided until the contract expires. But nevertheless, on a daily basis he has to check in with his boss and he has to give an accounting of how he spent his day, of if there were any expenses that he he charged to the company account, he has to he has to account for those expenses. He has to give a din vecheshbon every day even though there's not going to be any verdict rendered every day. So din lechud, din vecheshbon lechud. So what the Zohar Hakadosh, what the Ode Lokeil are talking about is is a din vecheshbon. So in light of this Zohar, so lichora the pshat that when the Magen Avraham says that a person before going to sleep should make a cheshbon hanefesh on any aveiros Rachmana litzlan, a person should be misvadeh, a person should be mekabel not to do again, and dehaynu a person should do teshuva, so the pshat is not just because this is the natural time for the Mesillas Yesharim's daily cheshbon hanefesh, but right before right before a person is about to give a din vecheshbon, so it doesn't need any explanation that before the din vecheshbon so a person is going to check his own books before you have before the employee is going to give the boss an accounting of of how he spent the day, of of his expenses, he's going to do his best to to get them in order. Hence the zman of lifnei hasheinah is is a zman for teshuva. Let's let's try to understand a little bit more. When you read the Zohar, so the Zohar suggests what's the what's the pshat in this idea that there's a nightly din vecheshbon? What's the pshat in it? So the Zohar says again:

באו וראו בשעה שבני אדם ישנים וטועמים טעם המות והנשמה עולה למעלה היא עומדת במקום שעומדת ונבחנת. נבחנת על מעשיה שעשתה כל היום וכתבו אינון בספר.

So the Zohar HaKadosh here, right, refers to what we know from the Gemara in Brachos that sheina is echad mishishim of misa. And there's an idea that when a person sleeps there's a ta'am misa. Gemara in Brachos says a few things which are echad mishishim. That a chalom is אחד מששים מנבואה and one of those things is that sheina is echad mishishim of misa. There's a bechina of misa in sheina. So says the Zohar HaKadosh, that's the pshat in the din v'cheshbon. The same way לאחר מיתה רחמנא ליצלן so that occasions a din v'cheshbon. So too, so too, the echad mishishim also occasions a din v'cheshbon. I think we can understand this even a little bit more, not anything approaching fully, but maybe just a little bit less superficially. And that is based on a very, very important and fundamental passage in Ohr HaChaim HaKadosh. Ohr HaChaim HaKadosh in Parshas Vayechi commenting on the posuk of ויקרבו ימי ישראל למות. And perhaps before we come to that, we'll just mention the Mechaber in סימן רלא and then the Rema actually is the one who quotes it explicitly in Shulchan Aruch, not the Mechaber, says that our minhag is that if we take a nap during the day, when we wake up, we don't say Elokai neshama, right, that we only say Elokai neshama after sheinas halaila, not after sheinas hayom. And the simple pshat in that is that Chazal were misaken to say the bracha once a day. Let's say according to this is not exactly the psak of the Mishna Berurah, but I think according to what most people do, that even if you sleep during the day, you don't make a new Birkas HaTorah. The takana was you make a Birkas HaTorah once a day. So too, כעין זה כיוצא בו זה, you say Elokai neshama only once a day and therefore after sheinas yom you don't say it. There would seem to be another explanation as well, and that is al pi the Ohr HaChaim HaKadosh. Ohr HaChaim HaKadosh says, what's the idiom in the Chumash of ויקרבו ימי ישראל למות? A person Rachmana litzlan approaches death, his days don't approach death. So what's that idiom of ויקרבו ימי ישראל למות? Ohr HaChaim HaKadosh, I'll read you a few of the lines. This is almost verbatim, I left out a word or two here or there, quotes from the Arizal and says that neshamos are mischalkos lenitzotzos. If you think of, again, to use physical imagery, metaphor, physical imagery, if you think of something as consisting, right, we see, we just see a tabletop, it seems to be one tabletop, but we know it's really composed of smaller molecules. So if you think of the neshama as sort of being constituted by these smaller, again, we're talking about devarim ruchniyim, not gashmiyus, of these smaller components, and those components are referred to as nitzotzos. So neshamos are mischalkos lenitzotzos, כפי מספר הניצוצות כך מספר ימי חייו. And a person is apportioned for his lifetime a commensurate amount of days, an amount of days commensurate to the amount of nitzotzos in the neshama. So however, again, whatever X equals in terms of the nitzotzos, in terms of those small components which constitute the neshama, so corresponding to that number, that's how many days Hakadosh Baruch Hu apportions to a person.

וכפי מספר הניצוצות כך מספר ימי חייו והימים שעושה בהם המצוות,

days which a person passes, which he spends doing his avoda as he should, נתקן ניצוץ אחד כנגד היום ההוא. So the nitzotz which corresponds to that day has been perfected. והיום שאינו עושה בו מצוה נשאר פגום הניצוץ ההוא. If a person doesn't do his avoda of that day, so then that nitzotz remains unperfected, remains pagum, k'neged hayom hahu, corresponding to how the person spent that day. Then the Ohr HaChaim Hakadosh, so this basically is the Ohr HaChaim Hakadosh's quote from the from the Arizal, and then he continues and says

וממה עוד האירה הקדמה זו עיני משכיל בכמה פרטי החקירות.

Sheds light on many, many things. He says האחד האירה עינינו בסוד השינה. This teaching of of the Arizal explains why Hakadosh Baruch Hu created the world with such a metzius as a sheina, as a as sleep. כי הוא להעלות ניצוץ שכנגד היום ההוא. That the function of of sheina is that when a person sleeps, so that nitzotz, that that small molecule, component of the neshama, it it goes up. vehu sod omro, and this is what Chazal have in mind when they say כי השינה אחד משישים במיתה. When they say that that sheina is a me'ein, is is a bechina in a in a microcosmic sense of misa, that's what they mean because in a certain sense every day when the person's neshama returns to him, so the it returns with one nitzotz less because כנגד מספר ימי חייו. That's how many nitzotzos there are in in the neshama, so

כנגד הימים שעברו מימי חייו כנגד זה עלו למרום מספר ניצוצות מנשמתו.

That's what emerges from from what the Ohr HaChaim Hakadosh says. The pshat is, obviously there are all kinds of details that I don't know, mista'ma if if we were oriented in these inyanim we we'd probably be able to fill in the answers, I can't obviously. So what happens if a person stays up all night? But mista'ma mista'ma all these details are are accounted for. But the pshat is that what the Ohr HaChaim Hakadosh is talking about is sheinas laila, not not sheinas yom, but sheinas laila. And that's certainly the simple mashma'us in what he says and and that perhaps would be the deeper understanding in in why Chazal hikvi'a the beracha Elokai Neshama davka achar sheinas laila, not אחר אחר שינת יום, because there's a difference even though the echad mishishim, even though the ta'am misa perhaps applies by yom, but not in the same sense as it applies by laila. Now in light of of of this Ohr HaChaim Hakadosh, so if we come back again to our our focus of how every night before a person goes to sleep is a zman of teshuva. So we said initially it's a zman of teshuva because a person is supposed to do teshuva daily, that's the natural time. Emmes. Then we said more, because since the Zohar Hakadosh says that נשמתכם עולה למעלה לעשות דין וחשבון במפעלה. So before the din vecheshbon a person has to has to prepare. A person has to prepare, so that's the that's the pshat that it's a zman teshuva. But now going to Ohr HaChaim Hakadosh, the same way it's it's intuitively obvious to us that the Mishna says in Sanhedrin that a person is misvadeh lifnei hamisa. So that's intuitively obvious to us, that doesn't need any any explanation. So too based on Ohr HaChaim Hakadosh, so be'emes there's a nitzotz, there's a nitzotz from the neshama that this, again, the echad mishishim shebemisa. And therefore it's a zman of viduy, it's a zman of teshuvah to again, to try to perfect that nitzotz before it's alah lemala. Again the, just, this is not our inyan if a person didn't perfect it that day, the Ohr HaChaim Hakadosh explains, it's retrievable al yedei teshuvah, but אף על פי כן lichatchila the nitzotz corresponding to this day in a person's life is supposed to be nisken on that day. Just to conclude with the following he'ora, following thought. Last week we mentioned from the Nefesh HaChaim how every moment in time is unique. Nefesh HaChaim quotes the teaching that the world draws its chayaka from the osios Hashem we mentioned, and HaKadosh Baruch Hu constantly changes the tziruf ha'osios which provides the vital force for the world to continue. So again we don't really understand it, but we do understand what the implications are, that every moment is unique. Every moment is unique. That the tziruf ha'osios which sustained, which infused life into the world a second ago, it's a different tziruf ha'osios which infuses life into the world this second. So now in the Ohr HaChaim Hakadosh, so we discover that just as mitsad the world around us every day is unique, it's not just another day but every day is unique, be'emes is mitsad ha'adam atzmo every day is unique. Every day there's a unique avoda. Again it's not just, not just that a person should, a person's lifetime consists of days so memaila he should, he should use his time. But be'emes every day is unique in the sense that there's a particular nitzotz, that there's an avoda to that day, there's a nitzotz of the neshama which the person is supposed to perfect that day through his avoda. So this uniqueness, again, uniqueness of the objective uniqueness of time around us corresponds to the uniqueness of every day for the person because of this teaching of the Ohr HaChaim Hakadosh. To lichora, if we take a moment to reflect on these two teachings, again, they're difficult but a little bit superficially I think we can understand them. The uniqueness of the time that HaKadosh Baruch Hu is recreating every second, the uniqueness in terms of there's a part of our neshama which uniquely is the focus of today's avoda, it can only give one a tremendous, tremendous appreciation and hisorerus for yakrus hazman. The value of time, the value of time. Again it's not only well I had X years, I had X years and chaval that I wasted so much of them. No, but every day is a unique day. Every day is a unique day. Every day is a special and unique opportunity and bracha that HaKadosh Baruch Hu gives us and the special and unique opportunity that we should try to take full advantage of.