Transcript

We'll begin by reviewing what we spoke about last week and try to add a brief but kimidumani very, very important perspective on it. The Gemara in Sanhedrin, the Midrash in Bereishis Rabbah, the exchange between Antoninus and Rebbi as to whether or not the yetzer hara is present in a person me-shas yetzirah already in utero from the time of conception or only me-shas yetziah when the baby is born. Antoninus maintained and Rebbi comes around to that position that it is me-shas yetziah. And Chazal associate that with a pasuk of

כי יצר לב האדם רע מנעריו משעה שננער לצאת ממעי אמו

from the time that the baby bestirs itself, from the time it leaves its mother. Again, we saw that it's clear that Chazal say that once the yetzer hara is present it must be manifest in some way because that's how Antoninus argued that it isn't present me-shas yetzirah because otherwise we should see some manifestation. It should be bo'eit be-imo ve-yeitzei. So how is it manifest me-shas yetziah? Again, we look at babies and you look in the neonatal nursery, the babies all look very innocent and very cute and very sweet and you don't really seem to see any raging, scheming yetzer hara there. So what does it mean? So we explained that from the very first moment of birth a baby feels its own needs. Doesn't feel anyone else's needs, but a baby feels its own needs. And that self-centeredness begins literally from the first moments of life. And yitachen that that's what Chazal mean in this context, that's how the yetzer hara expresses itself. And in truth one can describe the journey that hopefully we're embarked upon in life of avodas Hashem as moving from that initial self-centeredness to the peak of avodas Hashem, the ve-nachnu mah of Moshe Rabbeinu. Intuitively, I don't think there's any difficulty that needs to be resolved in the centrality of that avodah of moving from self-centeredness to a selflessness. And yet, not responding to any kasha, the idea runs very, very deep, tochen deeper than we realize at first glance. And that can be understood as follows. In the daily post-Mincha shiur, so we had occasion to mention that the Rav writes that he thinks that the Rambam's mitzvah of yedi'ah of anochi Hashem elokecha that the Rambam doesn't mean only that a person should in his mind have worked out the logical demonstration and proof of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, of his existence, but it should be an experiential awareness. We suggested a rayah from the words of the Rambam himself in—in Sefer Hamitzvos that the Rambam uses the same word—Ibn Tibbon translates it as leha'amin, but not using leha'amin the way we do—both by the mitzvah of yiras Hashem, of yiras ha'onesh, as well as by the mitzvah of Anochi Hashem Elokecha. Both of them, the word that the Rambam uses, the Arabic word is the same, that

אשר שציוונו בהאמנת האלוקות והוא שנאמין שיש שם עילה וסיבה הוא פועל לכל הנמצאים

and then in Mitzvah Daled שציוונו להאמין יראתו יתעלה ולהיפחד ממנו. So where Ibn Tibbon uses leha'amin, the Rambam in the original used the same word. So the Rambam has the same word for Anochi as for yiras ha'onesh. So clearly, if the yediyah of Anochi just again means this logical grasp based on demonstration, something which is just purely sichli, so it doesn't plug in. You can't use that verb with regard to yiras ha'onesh. And clearly what it means is some kind of again, but ledavrav shel the Rav, it's—the Rambam is saying again that the yediyah that he's talking about again is a yediyah which translates into an awareness. It's a yediyah which shapes and colors—again, it's not just a hasagah sichlis, but it's a yediyah which shapes and colors how a person sees and experiences the world. Now, with that definition of Mitzvas Anochi in mind, so let's—let's reread the Rambam's words.

יסוד היסודות ועמוד החכמות לידע שיש שם מצוי ראשון והוא ממציא כל נמצא וכל הנמצאים משמים וארץ ומה שביניהם לא נמצאו אלא מאמיתת הימצאו. ואם יעלה על הדעת שהוא אינו מצוי אין דבר אחר יכול להימצאות. ואם יעלה על הדעת שאין כל הנמצאים מלבדו מצויים הוא לבדו יהיה מצוי ולא יבטל הוא לביטולם שכל הנמצאים צריכים לו והוא ברוך הוא אינו צריך להם ולא לאחד מהם.

So understanding, processing the Rambam's words, recognizing that he intends us again not only as a logical understanding but as an experiential awareness, so it means that the fullest kiyum of Anochi Hashem Elokecha is not only that a person again knows intellectually that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is mamtzi kol nimtza, that all existence is because of and through Hakadosh Baruch Hu, but that's the awareness, the experiential awareness that a person has. Again, it's not only an understanding, a logical proposition, it's not just a hasagah sichlis that a person can outline the Rambam's proof for it, the demonstration, but it translates into an experiential awareness. What follows from that is that in the fullest sense of the word, in order to be מקיים אנכי השם אלוקיך, a person has to have this sense of selflessness. And the only one who's fully, fully, fully to the nth degree mekayem Anochi is a Moshe Rabbeinu who says reflecting his feeling, his awareness, venachnu mah? Kol zeman that we're—that we're not there, so avada avada. אודאי אודאי אודאי רחמנא ליצלן, it shouldn't be misunderstood for a second, we're ma'aminim bnei ma'aminim, we're ma'aminim bnei ma'aminim. But in terms of the fullest kiyom of anochi, the fullest kiyom of anochi requires that total selflessness. Because if a person really, really lives with an experiential awareness of

אם יעלה על הדעת שהוא אינו מצוי אין דבר אחר יכול להימצאות,

so that can be paraphrased as vanachnu mah. That translates into an awareness of vanachnu mah. So then again, this idea that we've been talking about, that avodas Hashem, a life of avodas Hashem can be described as the journey from the natural innate self-centeredness which we experience משעה שננער שננערנו לצאת ממעי אמנו, the journey from that point to again trying to gradually, gradually refine, transcend that self-centeredness and become increasingly selfless, that that journey defines avodas Hashem is because again, that will be the fullest kiyom of anochi Hashem elokecha. That that defines avodas Hashem is the most natural, most natural thing in the world. There's a lot to flesh out here. I don't want to. I think that it's maybe for tonight just kedai to reflect on this a little bit, but just one thought in the realm of application. Sometimes as we recognize the importance, exclusive importance of avodas Hashem, sometimes the yeitzer hara comes along with us. It doesn't necessarily surrender when we move from focusing on devarim gashmi'im to devarim ruchni'im. Sometimes the yeitzer hara comes along, and we can talk about what one needs to do for avodas Hashem in either of two ways. We can talk about it the way the Netziv used to sign his letters, ha'osek ba'avodah. It's not about me. It's about the avodas Hashem that needs to be done, that needs to be performed, that needs to be engaged in. But the question is if sometimes when we talk about my avodas Hashem, and the my comes before the avodas Hashem as opposed to the avodas Hashem which is amos alai, amos alai, remembering the vort of the Kotzker. Kedarko bakodesh, the Kotzker commented, the Torah says פסל לך שני לוחות אבנים. The associations with the word pesel, the most sublime associations you can have, but you also find the same word לא תעשה לך פסל, the worst and lowest associations you can have. So says the Kotzker, how do you know which it is? How do you know whether it's pesol lecha or לא תעשה לך פסל? So the Kotzker says, depends where the lecha is. He says when the lecha comes first, lo sa'aseh lecha, it's pesel. If the lecha comes last, then it's pesol lecha. Then you're talking about kedushah, you're talking about the luchos. It's worth asking ourselves when we talk about I need to do this for my avodas Hashem, my avodas Hashem needs this, my avodas Hashem needs that, we should imagine ourselves. going in for yechidus with the Kotzker Rebbe and getting his take on what it is we're saying and whether we've left the yetzer hara behind to a degree, whether we've cut him down to size to a degree, or whether he's as big and as formidable an antagonist as ever, but the turf on which he's fighting is a different turf.