ברשות הרב מורי ורבותי. I'd like to try be-ezras Hashem to review a few basic elementary perspectives on teshuvah. Imagine the following snapshot. Someone is bent over, maybe מנחה ערב יום כיפור, maybe it's already Yom Kippur, saying the viduy, saying the al chet, maybe he's up to the על חטא שחטאנו לפניך בלשון הרע, and what's running through his mind, again, crouched over, fist to heart, is that lashon hara is something cheap, it's something vulgar, something debasing, and I really have to cease and desist. Anything missing in that picture? Is there anything that should be present in that snapshot of viduy which isn't there? So, of course, all those associations and all those characterizations are entirely correct, but lechora there is something very fundamental missing. The Rambam at the beginning of Perek Beis quoting his understanding and giving his presentation of the Gemara in Yoma, illustrating teshuvah, the Rambam says היכי דמי תשובה גמורה הרי שבא על אשה בעבירה ולאחר זמן נתייחד עמה והוא עומד באהבתו בה ובכח גופו ובמדינה שעבר בה ופירש ולא עבר זהו בעל תשובה גמורה.
If a person finds himself in identical circumstances, previously he had been nichshal, previously he had sinned in these circumstances, and then everything is the same. Everything is constant, the only variable is that he's done teshuvah, and when he finds himself in the same situation again, so he's misgaber al yitzro. He's not nichshal, so that's a teshuvah gemurah. At the same stage of life, the same age, the same stage. Hu she-Shlomo amar וזכור את בוראך בימי בחורותיך עד אשר לא יבואו ימי הרעה והגיעו שנים אשר תאמר אין לי בהם חפץ.
And the Rambam's prooftext, the pasuk that the Rambam associates again with doing teshuvah at the same age, the same stage of life, the pasuk from Koheles, וזכור את בוראך בימי בחורותיך. If Rachmana litzlan the aveira happened in one's youth, bimei bechurosecha, so then let the teshuvah happen then as well. But where's the pasuk talking about teshuvah? So it's clear, the pasuk says וזכור את בוראך בימי בחורותיך. It's clear the Rambam is telling us that there's a very fundamental equation here. That teshuvah means to remember Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Vezachor bor'echa, that's where teshuvah is in the pasuk. That's what teshuvah is. That same equation the Rambam presents again in maybe one of the most famous halachos in all of Hilchos Teshuvah when he talks about the remez of tekias shofar in Perek Gimmel, that the tekias shofar is a wakeup call, עורו ישנים משנתכם ונרדמים הקיצו מתרדמתכם וחפשו במעשיכם וחזרו בתשובה וזכרו בוראכם.
Awaken from your sleep, be aroused from your slumber, scrutinize your actions, וחזרו בתשובה וזכרו בוראכם. Teshuvah means to remember Hakadosh Baruch Hu. What's missing in that snapshot of the person crouched over, fist to heart, with the associations of al chet? The associations of lashon hara, they're all correct, they're all correct. But what's missing is the focus on zechiras haboré. Sometimes because correctly we've inculcated within ourselves that an aveira is wrong, so sometimes the teshuvah focuses on the aveira and the aveira almost is spun off, almost takes a life unto itself. And that's where the Rambam says Vezachor bor'echa. The essence of teshuvah is remembering Hakadosh Baruch Hu. This is true because the equation that teshuvah equals Vezachor bor'echa. reflects another fundamental equation. The Gemara in Brachos tells us that ha’oseh dvar aveira if a person is guilty rachmana litzlan of an aveira u-misbayesh bo is מוחלים לו על כל עונותיו. A person rachmana litzlan is guilty of an aveira and then he has a sense of shame, so מוחלים לו על כל עונותיו in the merit of that sense of shame, so all his sins are forgiven. The Rambam based on the psukim in Nach, boshti v’nichlamti, how the vidui, the bare essentials of a vidui have to include, a person has to be able to say to the Ribbono Shel Olam that not only nichamti, not only do I have a sense of regret and remorse, but boshti as well. I'm embarrassed, I'm ashamed. Why is busha so critical to the vidui? Why is it that כל המתבייש מוחלים לו על כל עוונותיו? What am I ashamed about? Most of my aveiros happen in private. People are unaware of most of my aveiros. So what am I ashamed about? So clearly the sense of busha is before Hakadosh Baruch Hu. And that's what Rabbeinu Yona writes in Shaarei Teshuva that virtually every aveira, we're not talking about the cases where a person is a tinok shenishba, a person wasn't in a position to know any better, leaving that exceptional case aside. Virtually every aveira, so there's a different yetzer hara. But whatever the yetzer hara is, if a person were aware of the fact that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is watching him, so that yetzer hara would have been squelched. The person, it would have been suppressed. A person would have felt inhibited from doing the aveira. A person may have a yetzer hara to cheat on an exam. It may be a very strong yetzer hara and it could be that the yetzer hara is stronger than whatever scruples he should have about being honest and having integrity. But if he knows that the proctor is staring right at him, so then even if he doesn't have the strongest scruples, he's not going to cheat. If the proctor is staring right at him, a person doesn't cheat. If the person cheats on the exam, so it not only reflects that again his scruples about honesty and integrity are lacking, but it also means that he didn't know that the proctor, he forgot that the proctor is watching him, and that the proctor sees that he's cheating. That's what Rabbeinu Yona writes that a cheit means אין זה אלא בעבור היות השם יתברך רחוק מכליותיו. That Hakadosh Baruch Hu is not on a person's radar screen. So because there is this fundamental equation between cheit and rachmana litzlan shichchas Hashem, between cheit and shichchas Haborei, that's why commensurate, accordingly, there is this fundamental equation between teshuva and zechiras Haborei. Perhaps another perspective. The Rambam continues in Perek Beis after illustrating teshuva, now he gives us a practical and conceptual definition. Uma hi hateshuva what is teshuva? שיעזוב החוטא חטאו. The chotei abandons the sin, V’yasirenu mimachshavto, he removes it from his thought, ויגמור בלבו שלא יעשהו עוד. And he resolves never ever to commit the cheit again. V’chein skipping the Rambam's prooftext, וכן יתנחם על שעבר. A person also has a sense of regret and remorse about the past, ויעיד עליו יודע תעלומות. And the person invites Hakadosh Baruch Hu to be a witness to that sense of resolve שלא ישוב לזה החטא לעולם. Then the Rambam adds and concludes the halacha, וצריך להתוודות בשפתיו ולומר עניינות אלו שגמר בלבו. And a person also has to say vidui. It's not, doesn't suffice that all this plays out internally within one's heart, but a person has to articulate it as well. The question is why the Rambam mentions this here? The requirement for vidui, the truth is the Rambam told us about the requirement of vidui back in Perek Aleph before he ever defined teshuva. And already there the Rambam said that a person has to say חטאתי עויתי פשעתי לפניך עשיתי כך וכך. So the Rambam's already told us about the obligation to say Viduy, he doesn't seem to be adding anything new here in Perek Bais, if anything it's a little confusing, he doesn't seem to repeat everything that he mentioned in in Perek Aleph. So why does the Rambam repeat here in Perek Bais the need for Viduy, something that he already stated very clearly beginning of Perek Aleph? So apparently what the Rambam is communicating is that in Perek Aleph, however one understands, however whatever one's position on on the age-old question of what the Rambam thinks the relationship between Viduy and Teshuva is, whether Viduy is the independent mitzvah or whether or whether Viduy and and Teshuva are the same mitzvah, but either way in Perek Aleph, the Viduy again, either an independent mitzvah or as some kind of formal accompaniment to Teshuva. There's the Teshuva, כשיעשה תשובה וישוב מחטאו חייב להתוודות, two again, whatever their relationship in terms of minyan hamitzvos, two discrete entities, there's the Teshuva and then there's the Viduy. Now in Perek Bais, the Rambam is telling us that the Viduy is not only again some kind of distinct distinct co-mitzvah, but the Viduy is integral to the Teshuva itself, that without the Viduy, the Teshuva itself isn't complete. And and to try to explain what that means, we're not going to go so much into the practical ramifications of that but to try to explain what that means, so consider the following. The story is told I believe of Reb Salanter. He was talking with someone about the middah bitachon. And he was talking him about if a person really really בכל לבו בכל נפשו has bitachon that HaKadosh Baruch Hu is going to do something, so in the zechus of that bitachon HaKadosh Baruch Hu will taka deliver. עשה רצונך כרצונו כדי שיעשה רצונך כרצונו. The person really really בכל לבו בכל נפשו believes that HaKadosh Baruch Hu's going to come through, he'll come through. And Reb Salanter tells him, go buy a lottery ticket, and if you believe mamash you have real bitachon you'll win the lottery. Guy goes, pays, spends his dollar, buys the buys the lottery ticket, the jackpot is say a million dollars. So Reb Salanter says to him, so you bought the lottery ticket? You have you have bitachon you're gonna win? Yeah. You really have bitachon you're gonna win? Yeah. So Reb Salanter lets a a few moments elapse, I don't know whether they're talking about something else or just the silence for a few minutes, then Reb Salanter turns him and says, I'll give you a thousand dollars for the lottery ticket. Guy says, deal! Here it is, rabbi. So Reb Salanter says to him, what happened to the bitachon? I thought you were sure that you were gonna win, you're gonna win the lottery, the ticket's worth a million dollars, why are you willing to sell it to me for a thousand dollars? So what's the what's the point of the story? The point of the story is that that whoever this person was what was a liar? And and and was fabricating and and and just posturing and that when Reb Salanter had asked him whether or not he had bitachon so he was again he was fabricating? No. He thought he had bitachon. He thought he had bitachon. What when dealing with mitzvos she'b'lev, it's very easy for a person to fool himself. It's very easy for us to fool ourselves. The person, he thought he had bitachon. He wasn't he wasn't lying to to lie to Reb Salanter. No Jew's gonna no Jew's gonna stand in front of Reb Salanter and and knowingly intentionally say anything but the truth. He thought he had bitachon. But what Reb Salanter was trying to teach him a lesson not only about bitachon but about self-awareness. And that you think you do, but then you see if if there's a price, if if once the the if once the bidding goes up to a thousand dollars you're ready to sell, so then the bitachon isn't really there. Sometimes we can honestly, honestly but mistakenly think that you know what? I've really resolved not to do this cheit again. I'm really determined not to. So then comes the halacha and tells him, okay, so stand up, לפני הא-ל ברוך הוא, and say it, say it. Say that nichamti and say that לעולם איני חוזר לדבר זה. So now all of a sudden again, the person, honest, honest, right, we know it's honest because at least I know I see the person in the mirror. The person honestly felt that he has that determination of לעולם איני חוזר לדבר זה, but now he's told, okay, so say it to the Ribono shel Olam and, of course, we're aware Rachmana litzlan to be דובר שקרים לפני המקום, to utter a falsehood before Hakadosh Baruch Hu. So comes the halacha and says, you know why tzarich l'hitvados bisfatav, not only because as in Perek Aleph there's a formal mitzvas vidui either independent or which accompanies teshuvah but which is distinct, כשיעשה תשובה וישוב מחטאו, distinct from that chayav l'hitvados, but you should also be aware that the teshuvah itself to ensure that the person is really, really doing the teshuvah, that he's not fooling himself, that he's not like Reb Yisroel Salanter's friend with the lottery ticket. A person has to be ready to say to the Ribono shel Olam, nichamti uvoshti, בשתי ונחמתי ולעולם איני חוזר לדבר זה, and in truth that's the thrust of this entire halacha. The previous requirement as well that יעיד עליו יודע תעלומות שלא ישוב לזה החטא לעולם. Again, what the halacha says is it doesn't want us to rely on our own initial self-perception, on our own initial self-awareness, but it says again, invite Hakadosh Baruch Hu, again, and obviously no coincidence that in this context the Rambam refers to Hakadosh Baruch Hu as Yodeia Ta'alumos, the one who knows what's hidden, who knows our innermost thoughts, who knows just how deeply rooted those thoughts go and how complete that determination is or is not. So יעיד עליו יודע תעלומות, invite Hakadosh Baruch Hu, a person has to be ready to invite Hakadosh Baruch Hu to attest to the fact that his resolve is really a hundred percent, that his determination is really a hundred percent. In the next halacha, the Rambam quotes from the Gemara in Taanis I think, where the Gemara uses tvilah in a mikvah as a metaphor for the combination of teshuvah and vidui, and the Rambam says וכל המתודה בדברים ולא גמר בלבו לעזוב הרי זה דומה לטובל ושרץ בידו.
The same way if a person goes into the mikvah and he's holding onto the source of tumah, so what's the tvilah in the mikvah going to do for him? So so too if a person is, as it were, holding onto the cheit because his determination is not there, so then the combination of vidui and teshuvah is lacking, is incomplete. It could be that there's an additional dimension to using, to employing tvilah as a metaphor for vidui and teshuvah. And there is a comment I think from the בעל שם טוב הקדוש. The Baal Shem Tov says what's the inyan of mikvah? He says that the inyan of mikvah is that a person can't do it partially, a person can't do it half-heartedly. A person is either a hundred percent in the mikvah or it's nothing. If there's one hair floating above the water, so it doesn't help that I was ninety-nine point nine nine percent immersed in the mikvah. A person has to be a hundred percent immersed in the mikvah. That the Baal Shem Tov says is what the inyan of mikvah is. Yitachen that Chazal have this in mind as well in the metaphor of tvilah bemikvah as a metaphor for teshuvah. The pasuk in parshas, parshas Nitzavim, the parsha that was mentioned in the introductory remarks, so the pasuk that the Ramban says is being cross-referenced which is the antecedent to ki hamitzvah hazos, so the Torah says ושבת עד ה' אלהיך. and I forget the next few words בכל לבבך ובכל נפשך. The Torah says that Teshuva is bephicho u'velvavcho la'asoso, it is something very much within our grasp. But the Torah says it's not something that a person can accomplish half-heartedly. It's something that a person can accomplish be'ezras Hashem but it has to be בכל לבו ובכל נפשו. The same way a person can't go partially to the mikvah, a person has to be totally, totally immersed, totally submerged in the mikvah. So too to do Teshuva to be able to say to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, to go on the record with the Ribono Shel Olam: נחמתי ובושתי וגם עולמי אינו חוזר, to be able to be modeh alav yodeya taalumos. So that's like a tevila in mikvah, it's what the Torah says, it's something that has to be done בכל לבו ובכל נפשו. Other mitzvos, it's not ideal, not optimal by any stretch of the imagination, but we can get away with sort of half-hearted measures. Achilas matzah, okay, so maybe even if you hold mitzvos tzrichos kavana, maybe since it's a mitzvas achila, maybe it doesn't need kavana at all. And even if it needs kavana, so the Mishnah Berurah says that when you need kavana latzeis, it's enough to have kavana at the beginning of the mitzvah. You can do things half-heartedly. Teshuva can't be accomplished half-heartedly. Teshuva is something that a person has to reach down deep, בכל לבו ובכל נפשו in order to do Teshuva. Why is it that sometimes, sometimes we have the sense that maybe we are being a little half-hearted about the, about our Teshuva? So maybe let's take a look at yet another halacha here in Perek Beis. The Rambam again quoting and interpreting the Gemara in Rosh Hashanah: ארבעה דברים מקרעין גזר דינו של אדם, that four things can cause an edict to be ripped up, to be discarded. So the way the Rambam interprets the Gemara: Midarkei HaTeshuva, a lifestyle of Teshuva. Teshuva isn't a distinct moment, it's not a moment, it's not ten minutes during Aseres Yimei Teshuva or on Yom Kippur, but it's a lifestyle. Maybe it's ten minutes which catapults a person into that lifestyle, but the Teshuva is a lifestyle: מדרכי התשובה להיות השב צועק תמיד לפני השם בבכי ובתחנונים.
This is one of the daled devarim, tzo'akah, one of the daled devarim, tzo'akah, excuse me, tzo'akah, tzedakah, shinu'i hashem, shinu'i maises, so the Rambam begins with tzo'akah. And the Rambam again depicts not a one-time tzo'akah, not a one-time geshrei, not a one-time scream to the Ribono Shel Olam, but the Rambam says a person is צועק תמיד לפני השם בבכי ובתחנונים, that a person is constantly, tearfully supplicating Hakadosh Baruch Hu. A person doesn't cry about anything casual. We only cry when there's very, very deep emotion. A person can care but it still doesn't move us to tears. To be moved to tears has to be something which really penetrates very, very deeply. What the Rambam is depicting here is that a person experiences cheit. In doing Teshuva we experience cheit as a real eis tzara. We experience it as a personal crisis. If it's going to move us to tears, again, only the most intense emotional experience translates into bechi, into tears: מדרכי התשובה להיות השב צועק תמיד לפני השם בבכי ובתחנונים.
There's an awareness that cheit eclipses everything else. Whatever material hatzlacha that a person has and whatever prosperity and whatever olam hazeh'dik blessing that Hakadosh Baruch Hu has given a person, but if a person is besmirched, if a person is sullied by cheit, it's something that a person experiences as a So deeply, so intensely, that it translates into tzoeik tomid, constantly tzoeik tomid to Hashem bevichya vechanunim. In order to do תשובה בכל לב בכל נפש, we have to experience cheit as a tzara. We have to experience cheit as עוונותיכם היו מבדילים ביניכם ובין אלוקיכם, the posuk the Rambam quotes later. We have to experience that as something which distances us from Hakadosh Boruch Hu, as something which contradicts our entire raison d'être, contradicts what we're here for, what life is all about. There's nothing casual, there's nothing self-contained about cheit. When cheit, when the awareness of cheit is experienced as a tzara, so then a person takeh does teshuva like he goes to the mikvah. He's totally immersed, it's בכל לבו ובכל נפשו. And then a person takeh can get up and then he's takeh going to have such a sense of remorse and such a sense of resolve that a person will be able to be מעיד עליו יודע תעלומות. It's clear that for real effective teshuva to happen, the process involves anguish. It's a heart-rending process. Rabbeinu Yonah in Sha'arei Teshuva says we're not only talking about charata, we're talking about yagon. Again, a real sense of deep sorrow and anguish. The Abarbanel says that in addition to what the Chazal, what the Torah she-ba'al peh obviously tells us that ve'inisem means in terms of achila u'shiya, and maybe that's the moker for the other inuyim as well, or whatever the moker is for the other inuyim, but he says additionally on the level of pshuto shel mikra, ועניתם את נפשותיכם ביום הכפורים is that a person spends the day pondering cheit and doing teshuva. That's the affliction of the day. A person spends a day thinking, going through this list. That's the ve'inisem of Yom Kippurim. So there is no teshuva without that anguish. What are the, are there any checks and balances built in here that it shouldn't be too depressing? That it shouldn't, rachmana litzlan, be paralyzing? So in the Krias haTorah of Shabbos, so we read the posuk וחרה אפי בו ביום ההוא והיה לאכול ומצאוהו רעות רבות וצרות ואמר ביום ההוא הלוא על כי אין אלוקי בקרבי מצאוני הרעות האלה.
So Hakadosh Boruch Hu tells us that on that day many, many great evils will befall them. And Klal Yisrael will say, על כי אין אלוקי בקרבי מצאוני הרעות האלה. It's because Hakadosh Boruch Hu is not in my midst. That's why all this has befallen me. So we would now expect, oh, hakaras hacheit, teshuva. So we would now expect Hakadosh Boruch Hu would say, now a new chapter opens. No, what's the next posuk? ואנוכי הסתר אסתיר פני ביום ההוא. The next posuk says Hakadosh Boruch Hu says hester ponim. So the Ramban already raises the question, the Sforno has a remarkable, remarkable pshat in the psukim. He says that when Klal Yisrael says על כי אין אלוקי בקרבי, they say so erroneously. It's not a correct diagnosis. The על כי אין אלוקי בקרבי intimates that Hakadosh Boruch Hu has forsaken me. It intimates that Hakadosh Boruch Hu, that the distance, rachmana litzlan, created by cheit is so great that I can't reach out to Hakadosh Boruch Hu in tefillah, that I can't reach out to Hakadosh Boruch Hu. and because of that, that awareness, that erroneous diagnosis of על כי אין אלקי בקרבי doesn't spur teshuvah. And that's what the Torah says the correct understanding is not that ein Elokai bekirbi, not Hakadosh Baruch Hu again, chet does create distance, but Hakadosh Baruch Hu is still, still here. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is still well within reach. The correct diagnosis for the metzaros rabbos v'raos is rather the hester panim. Hester panim means Hakadosh Baruch Hu is here but with hester panim, as opposed to, as distinct from על כי אין אלקי בקרבי. If a person has such an understanding, so then the Sforno says, then a person is inspired, then a person is encouraged to do teshuvah. I think that this story is told of the, about the Baal Shem Tov that he was once traveling this time of year and he wasn't going to be able to get back to his hometown for Yom Kippur, for Yom Hakippur. So the question arose where, amongst the various shtetlach which were within striking range, where would he spend Yom Hakippur? So the Baal Shem Tov had inquiries made as to who the baalei tefillah were in the various shtetlach. And then he was told that in one of the shtetlach the shatz used to sing the vidui. So the Baal Shem Tov says, ah, that's where we're going for Yom Kippur. The Me'or Einayim quotes, I think, I think in Parshat Ki Tavo and kimedumeh in the name of the Baal Shem Tov, that when the Torah says תחת אשר לא עבדת את ה' אלקיך בשמחה ובטוב לבב,
that a person has to be oved Hashem b'simcha. So he quotes the Baal Shem Tov says doesn't say anywhere that this is true of 612 of the 613 mitzvot. Al taryag mitzvot a person is supposed to be mekayeim b'simcha. Teshuvah also a person is supposed to be mekayeim b'simcha. How does a person mekayeim teshuvah b'simcha? So the answer is, yes, משל למה הדבר דומה. Let's say you have a person Rachmana litzlan receives a very, very serious diagnosis from the doctor. It's a diagnosis which fills him with anxiety, with fright, with anguish that he has such a sickness. But then the doctor tells him, but you know surgery is very, very successful. Does that dispel the anxiety? No. It doesn't dispel the anxiety, it doesn't dispel the fear, it doesn't dispel the anguish. But somehow or other it superimposes an optimistic context on that anxiety, on that anguish. על כי אין אלקי בקרבי says the Sforno is a mistake. It's a mistake. Hakadosh Baruch Hu בכל מקום שגלו שכינה גלתה עמהם. Hakadosh Baruch Hu it's always true על אחת כמה וכמה Aseret Yemei Teshuvah דרשו ה' בהמצאו קראהו בהיותו קרוב. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is accessible, is waiting kavyakhol that we should do teshuvah. So the anguish, a person has to experience the anguish. If I don't experience the anguish, so then I'm going to go fifty percent to the mikveh. It's not going to do anything. It has to be בכל לבבך ובכל נפשך. But if I experience the anguish, so then the anguish is not going to be something that's so depressing that Rachmana litzlan it paralyzes because it's going to be in this optimistic context of the תחת אשר לא עבדת את ה' אלקיך בשמחה, of the shliach tzibbur who is singing the vidui because we know of the havtachah that ימינו פשוטה לקבל שבים. It's very, very well known when Rabbenu Yonah in Shaarei Teshuvah talks about the different reasons for the mitzvah achilah in erev Yom Hakippurim, so he says that one of them is the simcha in erev Yom Hakippurim because of the impending mechilat avonot. So that coexists, that doesn't displace any of the, any of the anguish, any of the anxiety. It doesn't contradict צועק בבכי ותחנונים, but what it does create is an optimistic, an optimistic context. So halavai Ribbono Shel Olam that we should. should help us all that to be mekayem ulzechoro uvoracho to do a תשובה בכל לב ובכל נפש to experience that ve'inisem but also to be able to experience the simcha mechilas avonos. Gmar tov.