Well a little bit it’s been a few weeks since we’ve done the Chovos HaLevavos so we’ll be on a Thursday schedule today and we’ll take a look at this. We had seen in the Petiha to the Sha'ar HaBechina that Rabbeinu Bachya enumerated three reasons that we are unaware and totally insensitive to the Chesed Hashem of which we are beneficiaries. And those three reasons, number one is people are so preoccupied with trying to acquire even more and more material possessions that they make themselves dissatisfied with what they have and consequently they can’t recognize what they have to be a Beracha; in reality it constitutes a very great Beracha. But if a person is always hungry for more and more and more so then he can’t stop to recognize that what he has, what he has already is a tremendous Beracha. We saw the second of the three reasons is the fact that we take the Chesed Hashem for granted. And Rabbeinu Bachya draws the analogy to someone who was adopted as an infant is going to be insensitive and take for granted all the Chasodim which his benefactor does with him much more so than an adult who was ransomed; an adult who was ransomed who didn't grow up with these Chasodim so he will clearly recognize the Chesed of his benefactor. Ma she'ein ken, someone who was adopted as an infant takes it for granted and he doesn't recognize the Chesed Hashem. And we saw the third, we saw the third of the reasons which Rabbeinu Bachya enumerates is the fact that our preconception of what could be a Tova of what could be a kindness of HaKadosh Baruch Hu is for us a kindness has to be that we're rich, that we’re in the best of health, that we’re totally successful in every venture. And any setback we right away assume is not a Tova but the opposite Rachmana litzlan when in fact it’s intended as a Tova to arouse us. Once it comes, last time we spoke we elaborated on the third of the reasons. This time I wanted to focus on the second one. Let's just read it a little bit and then try to discuss it a little bit. V'hanekuda hashniya, again, which blinds us to the Chesed Hashem, ביאתם אל העולם הזה, our arrival in this world, their arrival, people’s arrivals k'shehem b'matsav habehemos when they are at the state of animals bitachlis hatipshus in terms of level of foolishness and ignorance. וגדלו בטובות השם העצומות and we grow up surrounded by the awesome Tovos of HaKadosh Baruch Hu. והרי הם בהם תמיד and we live amongst them constantly עד שנעשו להם כטבע רגיל until it becomes second nature to us. כאילו הם עצמיים להם as though it's a part of us. לא יסורו ולא יפרדו מהם כל ימי חייהם. לפיכך כאשר מתחזקת דעתם והבחנתם,
even when their minds and intelligence develops and matures, אינם מבינים אופן הטובה עליהם, people don't discern how HaKadosh Baruch Hu is helping them. ואינם נותנים על לבם להודות להשם עליהם and it doesn't occur to them to thank HaKadosh Baruch Hu biglal iy yedi'asam because of their ignorance את ערך הטובה והמטיב בו להם both in terms of the quality, the magnitude of what HaKadosh Baruch Hu is doing and also the fact that He is responsible for it because we take it for granted. והרי הם דומים בזה, they resemble אדם מאנשי החסד שמצא תינוק באחד המדברות וחמל עליו. A kind person found an abandoned child, asapo l'veiso, he took him into his house, ve'gidlo, he raised him, ve'he'echilo, he fed him, ve'hilbisho, he clothed him, והטיב לו בכל צרכו, and he attended to all his needs until this child grew up to become a mature adult. ועוד שמע האיש הזה על אסיר בידי אויבו, about a man imprisoned in the hands of his enemy, אשר הביאו תכלית העינוי והרז והערום במשך זמן ארוך, and this person was being tortured and he was hungry and he was naked for a long time. נכמרו רחמיו על מצבו, his compassion was aroused, ולא חדל לפייס את אויבו עד אשר שחררו ונתנו על אדמתו,
finally he was able to ransom him. ואספו אחרי כן אל ביתו ועשה עמו חסד, he took him into his house and bestowed kindness upon him as well, vehetiv lo bemiktzas, only a fraction ממה שהיטיב עם אותו התינוק, would that they be. והנה נעשה האיש האסיר מכיר ומודה על מעשה הטובה של האיש הזה יותר מן התינוק אשר גדל והתסמך בטובתו,
even though he was only a recipient of a fraction of the chasodim, he was much more sensitive to, he recognized, and is much more makir tovah. So too, so too, says Rabbeinu Bachya, so we are analogous to this to the to the abandoned baby. So the question which Rabbeinu Bachya's explanation and his analogy comes: so why does Hakadosh Baruch Hu camouflage his chasodim so much? I mean, after all, we're not to be faulted if we we come into the world without any intelligence or any ability to discern, as a newborn baby doesn't have that ability. So the fact that we're analogous to this child who was abandoned and became a beneficiary at such a young age that he takes his benefactor for granted, that's how Hakadosh Baruch Hu created the world. That's not, we're not to be faulted for that. That's implicit in the briyah. That's the way the world is created. So ela mai, I'm not sure if what we're saying now is the answer to the question or explaining why the question is not a question. I think it's more the latter. Here too is a very, very important klal in avodas Hashem, a very important klal in avodas Hashem. Chidushei HaRim says that the word olam, which means world, comes from the same shoresh as he'alem, ye'alem, which means something which is concealed, something which is hidden. And the reason for this, the reason the same shoresh denotes both the world as well as a notion of concealment is that the way the entire world is created is that the presence of Hakadosh Baruch Hu in the world is concealed. ועל שם זה נקרא עולם, and that's why the world is called olam, reflecting this basic, most basic and most fundamental fact about the world: that the world conceals Hakadosh Baruch Hu's presence. So from that it follows that to be involved in avodas Hashem doesn't mean that you get up in the morning and you daven. It means that, but that's not enough. And doesn't mean that after davening you go learn. It doesn't mean that you go about your routine of Torah u'mitzvos. Avodas Hashem in its fullest sense, because avodas Hashem is in olam hazeh where Hakadosh Baruch Hu's presence is hidden, means avodas Hashem is a constant search, a constant quest. It can never be a routine. It can never be a routine. It can never be that you're going through, you have a routine. Avodas Hashem is you're always looking for Hakadosh Baruch Hu. You're always looking for Hakadosh Baruch Hu. When you go to shul to daven in the morning, you have to be looking for Hakadosh Baruch Hu. When you come to the beis medrash to learn Torah, you have to be looking for Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Because you have to look for him, you have to find him, because in olam hazeh he's hidden. And that's why it's called olam, milashon ha'alama, he'elem me'ayin. So it's takeh true, we come into this world, takeh analogous to the child who is abandoned as a baby and adopted as a baby. The chasdei Hashem are be'he'elem. But the entire thrust of our avodas Hashem is to penetrate that facade and to see through it. That gufeh is the essence of avodas Hashem. And when you realize that, you'll understand something that we all know, unfortunately from firsthand experience. We understand the two biggest obstacles or dangers to avodas Hashem. So the first one we understand intuitively. The second one we don't fully understand intuitively. The first danger or obstacle is becoming preoccupied with material secular pursuits when they become an end in itself. What the Rambam calls havlei hazman, havlei hazman. When your life's dreams are defined in material terms, that's havlei hazman. When what you dream of is a certain financial bracket, that's havlei hazman, that's havlei hazman. So we understand that. We understand that if a person is preoccupied with accumulating wealth or accumulating honor or accumulating prestige or accumulating power and satisfying his ego, so we understand how even though that person may pro forma be shomer Torah u'mitzvos, we understand that in the real truest sense of the word, he's never going to be a real oveid Hashem. That we understand very intuitively. We assume however that if someone's a ben Yeshiva and he's sitting and he's learning and he's involved most if not all the day with Torah u'mitzvos, so we assume that that person by definition, just by his very involvement, is an oveid Hashem. And yet sometimes we look in the mirror and we spend the day, get up in the morning, we go daven, we spend the day learning, we go to shiur, we go to night seder. You do it day in, day out, day in, day out, and somehow at the end of the week, at the end of the month, at the end of this zman, you don't feel any difference. You don't feel any difference. You don't feel like you advanced in avodat Hashem. Maybe you know a little bit more, you don't feel like you advanced in avodat Hashem. So how can that be? And meileh you were working till 11:00 at night to advance yourself in your professional field, to accumulate wealth, you understand, you understand why you didn't advance in avodat Hashem. But how can this be? How can it be a ben yeshiva? How can it be? A ben Torah? You're a ben yeshiva? How can it be? The answer is that even when a person's involved, even when a person's involved in Torah u'mitzvot, if it's done mechanically, if it's done on automatic pilot, you get up in the morning, why do you daven? Because yesterday you davened. You get up in the morning, so you say Modeh Ani and you wash negel wasser and you go to shul and you daven and that's your routine. That's your routine. And the same way after davening you eat breakfast, so before breakfast you daven, that's part of your routine. And after breakfast you go to seder, that's your routine. And you learn, and then you go to lunch, and then you come to shiur, and then you have your routine. You have your routine. You have to be looking for Ribono Shel Olam 24 hours a day. In Olam Hazeh, lashon he'elam, you have to be looking for Ribono Shel Olam. Otherwise you don't see Him. He's there. לית אתר פנוי מיניה. Everywhere, at all times. But in Olam Hazeh, lashon he'elam, lashon ha'alamos, helem, even when involved in Torah u'mitzvot, Torah u'mitzvot will let you see the Ribono Shel Olam if you're looking for Him. But you can be involved in Torah u'mitzvot, but if you're not looking for the Ribono Shel Olam because Torah u'mitzvot became your routine, so then you don't find Him. You don't find Him. And then you end up with the paradox, which we don't understand and yet we all know firsthand that it's true, that you can be involved in learning and in mitzvot but you don't sense spiritual progress. So the answer is this yesod, that we're analogous to the child who takes things for granted. Or more clearly and vividly in the yesod of the Kedushat Levi, of Olam Hazeh. So the answer is even when involved in Torah u'mitzvot, even when you're sitting, even when involved in Torah u'mitzvot, you have to get up in the morning and you're going to daven not because it's your routine. You're going to daven likrat avodat Hashem. You're going to find the Ribono Shel Olam. That's what you're going for. Not because it's your routine, not because you did it yesterday. Because this morning when you get up you want to meet the Ribono Shel Olam, that's why you're running to shul. As they say in the name of the Chozeh, they asked him why he davened somewhat later in the morning, didn't daven so early in the morning, because it was known that he got up very early in the morning, but he didn't daven until later. They asked him, what are you doing so long? Why don't you daven early? What are you davening later for? He says, we get up, so we say Modeh Ani and wash negel wasser and go to shul and daven, so why don't you do that? What takes you so long? He says, I says I don't do anything that you don't do. He says, I do the same thing you do. Get up in the morning and begin to say Modeh Ani. So I say Modeh, I stop. What does it really mean to have hoda'ah to the Ribono Shel Olam? What does it really mean to just to say it superficially, or what does it mean to feel it, to experience it? Then I say Ani. Ani? Who am I? Who am I? What am I? Then I think who am I, what am I. Lifanecha. What does it mean to be in the presence of the Ribono Shel Olam? He says, by the time I finish saying Modeh Ani, he says, I go daven right away. It just takes me a long time. So we have to get up in the morning and not go to shul because we're frum Jews and the routine is first thing in the morning you go to shul. So chas v'shalom not to minimize the importance of that, but you have to get up every morning and go to shul, not because I went to shul yesterday, not because it's my established routine, because going מהלך ידיפה לעבודת השם, running to shul to a Mikdash Me'at to have the opportunity to stand before Hakadosh Baruch Hu in tefillah. And then after that, we come to the Beis Medrash in the morning. So we're not supposed to go to the Beis Medrash because that's my routine, because 9:00 in the morning seder begins, I go to the Beis Medrash. No, we're running תורת השם תמימה משיבת נפש. The way to come close to Hakadosh Baruch Hu is through learning Torah, and that's why I'm going to the Beis Medrash. It's just coincidentally I went to the Beis Medrash yesterday for the same reason, but I'm not doing it today out of routine. I'm doing it today out of the same conscious decision. It's not my routine. I'm doing it for the same reason because I'm looking for Hakadosh Baruch Hu. And if we look, so then you see through the world. You see through the world what the Chiddushei Harim calls the nekudah hapnimis and you see Hakadosh Baruch Hu in the world. But you have to look. You have to look. So S'fas Emes says the Gemara in Berachos says the din is when you come into a shul, so you have to come in shiur shenei pesachim. That's how far into the shul you're supposed to go. You're not supposed to stand and davven right after the... So S'fas Emes says mameish I understand shiur pesach echad. You can't stand mamash at the door, you have to go into the shul. It reflects this notion that you have to look and quest, you have to penetrate to see Hakadosh Baruch Hu. You can't just stand at the surface on the outside and expect to see Hakadosh Baruch Hu. You have to penetrate, you have to go in. What's the pshat, shiur shenei pesachim? The pshat is that as much as a person has penetrated and as much as he senses Hakadosh Baruch Hu in his life, so he's supposed to realize that he has to penetrate even more. He has to see through the olam hazeh. He has to peel away... once you've peeled away one layer, you're more aware of Hakadosh Baruch Hu's presence in your life and in the world. So he has to be nichnas, there's always another pesach to go. You have to become even more acutely aware. There's another layer of olam hazeh to be peeled away to become even more acutely, keenly aware of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. So avodas Hashem means a life of Torah and mitzvos, but it means a life of Torah and mitzvos as a conscious quest to come close to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, not just as a routine and a way of a life, but as a conscious quest. Every day you decide again, every day it's a new decision why you're going to shul, not just out of routine. Every day it's a new decision you're going to shul. Every day you're going to seder again, not out of a routine.