Thank you Rabbi Shnidman. There is some discussion in the Rishonim what the source for the mitzvah of teshuvah is. The Rambam according to most understandings locates the source in Parshas Naso in the psukim דבר אל בני ישראל איש או אשה כי יעשו מכל חטאת האדם למעול מעל בה' ואשמה הנפש ההיא
if a man or woman violate any of the mitzvos of the Torah and betray HaKadosh Baruch Hu and incur guilt והתוודו את חטאתם אשר עשו they must do teshuvah and verbalize the teshuvah. The Avodas HaMelech, who was the Rav's uncle, so he has a very fascinating suggestion that we don't even need a pasuk to tell us that there's a mitzvah to do teshuvah, it's just so obviously self-evident and compelling that there's no need to find a pasuk which instructs us to do teshuvah. The Ramban, and it's the Ramban's pasuk or series of psukim which im yirtza Hashem we'll focus on, locates the source in this Parshas's Krias HaTorah when the Torah says ושבת עד ה' אלוקיך ושמעת בקולו so the Ramban says that this is an imperative, it's a mandate that we have to do teshuvah, the Torah addressing each and every one of us, ושבת עד ה' אלוקיך to do teshuvah. Ramban continues his exposition of the psukim in Parshas Nitzavim and says that when subsequently when the Torah says כי המצוה הזאת אשר אנכי מצוך היום לא נפלאת היא ממך ולא רחוקה היא
this mitzvah which I have commanded you today, it's not hidden from you, it's not distant or remote from you, but rather one or two psukim later כי קרוב אליך הדבר מאוד בפיך ובלבבך לעשותו. Teshuvah is close to you, it's in your mouth and in your heart to do. So what does it mean that teshuvah is in our mouth and in our heart? So the Ramban himself says that what that means is וזה טעם בפיך ובלבבך לעשותו שיתוודו את עוונם ואת עוון אבותם בפיהם וישובו בלבבם אל ה'
so the Ramban says the Torah here is hinting at the fact that teshuvah is an experience which is basically an inner experience, is what the Torah means that ubilvavcha la'asoto, it's an inner experience unlike the mitzvah of taking a lulav, of shaking the lulav, so that's defined in its most minimalist sense in terms of an external concrete action. Teshuvah, the essence of the mitzvah is ubilvavcha, it's an inner experience, but it also requires verbalization, beficha. But let's spend a few minutes exploring perhaps another level of meaning of this phrase beficha ubilvavcha la'asoto. כי קרוב אליך הדבר מאוד the mitzvah of teshuvah is close to us, close to each and every one of us befinu uvilvavenu la'asoto. The Torah here is telling us what the two keys are for teshuvah. Rabbi Shnidman alluded to the fact that despite the fact that the Torah tells us that teshuvah is well within our grasp, it's an opportunity which unfortunately but candidly we all too often squander. And the reason is because we fail to utilize the two keys which the Torah here identifies of beficha ubilvavcha. One major barrier which we need to remove, it's a self-imposed barrier which we need to remove in order to facilitate our teshuvah, is that we live unreflective lives. I'd like to read one passage, a very famous one with which you're all undoubtedly familiar from the Rambam, and then another passage almost as famous from Rabbeinu Yonah in Sha'arei Teshuvah, and just note a common emphasis. The Rambam commenting on the symbolism, or experiential meaning, of the mitzvah of shofar writes as follows: אף על פי שתקיעת שופר בראש השנה גזירת הכתוב. It's a decree, the Torah decrees, it's not something that we can rationalize, nevertheless remez yesh bo. We can penetrate its experiential content: כלומר עורו ישנים משנתכם ונרדמים הקיצו מתרדמתכם. Awaken, those who are sleeping from your sleep, be aroused, be aroused from your slumber. The Rambam continues: ve-chipsu be-ma'aseichem. And scrutinize, scrutinize your actions, ve-chizru bi-teshuvah. And that in turn will allow you to repent, to chozer bi-teshuvah, ve-zichru vor'acha, your Creator. אלו השוכחים את האמת בהבלי הזמן. The mitzvah is addressed to those, too many of us, השוכחים את האמת בהבלי הזמן, who forget truth amidst the transient futilities, ושוגים כל שנתם בהבל וריק, and their days are filled with emptiness, hollowness, אשר לא יועיל ולא יציל. Habitu le-nafshoteichem, heitivu darcheichem u-ma'alaleichem. Do yourself a favor, improve your ways, your actions, ויעזוב כל אחד מכם דרכו הרעה ומחשבתו אשר לא טובה.
So the Rambam emphasizes chipus be-ma'aseichem, chipus be-ma'aseichem. Similarly, the Rabbeinu Yonah in Sha'arei Teshuvah in commenting on the special mitzvah of doing teshuvah on Yom Kippur, Rabbeinu Yonah says that when the Torah says in Parashat Acharei Mot, כי ביום הזה יכפר עליכם לטהר אתכם מכל חטאתיכם, that on this day Ha-Kadosh Baruch Hu grants you atonement, and then the final three words in the pasuk are lifnei Hashem titeharu, the titeharu again is an imperative. On this day on Yom Kippur, titeharu, purify yourselves. There's a special mitzvah, a special obligation to do teshuvah on Yom Kippur. And what's the definition of this mitzvah? Says Rabbeinu Yonah, paraphrasing the Yirmiyahu Ha-Navi in Megillat Eichah: she-nachpisa deracheinu. Again the same, the same verb, the same emphasis, chipus, scrutinize, search, scrutinize dracheinu, our ways, ונחקורה ונשובה אל השם. The first key to teshuvah is be-ficha la'asoto. There's no teshuvah if a person doesn't question himself. If a person lives without questioning himself, questioning 'Am I living properly? Am I doing what's right?', if a person just coasts and lives unreflectively without questioning, if there's no be-ficha, so then there's not going to be la'asoto of teshuvah. There can't be teshuvah unless we question, unless we probe. The questions to be posed are many. As a matter of fact, Rabbeinu Yonah basically devotes Sha'ar Ha-Shlishi of Sha'arei Teshuvah to posing such questions. He reviews many, many basic mitzvot and issurim in the Torah. But I thought perhaps maybe we just mention a questions, whether they're relevant to others I can't say, but I find them relevant. Pishpash b'ma'asav, questions to ask ourselves in order to facilitate teshuvah, because if there's no awareness, if there's no discovery of chet, if we're so complacent that we don't question ourselves, if there's no bechina, there's not going to be any teshuvah. If a person doesn't question to uncover the inadequacies, so a person again will live this complacent life, which the Rambam describes as basically sleepwalking. So some of the nachpesa, some of the hipus ma'asachem is in terms of how we speak, shmiras halashon. How careful am I about loshon hora? Business ethics. How sensitive am I to the fact that the standard to which I have to hold myself in business is not necessarily what's done, be it legal, be it otherwise, but rather what the halacha expects, what the halacha's business ethics are in this case. If I'm buying and selling notes, so am I asking shailos in hilchos ribbis? If other people are engaging in false advertisement, in gneivas da'as as a standard business practice, does that make it legitimate for me if the standard to which I hold myself is the Torah rather than what may happen to be the transient norms and mores of society? In shul, how do I conduct myself in shul? Do I come to shul to davven, do I come to shul to socialize? And when I'm davvening, do I davven minimally? Right? Remember the Gemara in Berachos when רבן יוחנן בן זכאי is dying and his talmidim ask him for a bracha, so the bracha he gives them is that יהי מורא שמים עליכם כמורא בשר ודם, that your fear of Hakadosh Baruch Hu should be the same as your fear for people. So the talmidim say ad kan rabbeinu? That's it? And רבן יוחנן בן זכאי says halevai, halevai. So if I'm conversing with my friend, I think we'd consider it rude while I'm talking to him to be wrapping up my tefillin, folding up my tallis, motioning to other people. No, you're talking to someone, give him your undivided attention. So halevai, as רבן יוחנן בן זכאי said, so do we extend the same courtesy of undivided attention to the Ribbono Shel Olam? Or do we sort of mumble our way through Aleinu as we're wrapping up tallis and tefillin? The Kapitel Tehillim which appropriately and sensitively many many shuls say after Shacharis, maybe after each of the tefillos, because of the ongoing plight of acheinu beis Yisrael in Eretz Yisrael, so does that merit my undivided attention? Or if I didn't finish putting away my tallis and tefillin during Aleinu, so am I muttering the Shir Hamalos Mima'amakim while I'm wrapping up my tefillin? Isn't it worth manifesting enough of my empathy to at least say the Kapitel Tehillim? being totally focused on that and on all the suffering in Eretz Yisrael and forgetting for 45 seconds whatever appointment I have waiting for me after davening. And one final example of a nachpasa, of a question to pose to ourselves, and there are many others. In terms of my dress, is my dress tzanua, is it modest? If it's a vacation day, Sunday or otherwise, so when I come to shul, am I dressed appropriately for davening? Or does it look like I'm on my way to do some gardening? In our society, questioning by and large is a phenomenon which is limited to youth. We find it in adolescence, in young men and women in their early 20s. That healthy, introspective inquisitiveness, we find it in those stages of life. But there's very, very little of that kind of self-questioning in terms of do my words and deeds match my professed convictions once we get beyond that stage. And yet, the Rambam's mandate of chipsu b'maseichem, Rabbeinu Yona's paraphrase of Yirmiyahu Hanavi, the call of nachpesa deracheinu venachkora, isn't limited to those under the age of 25. It's a call to each and every one of us. So the first of the barriers, the first b'fifcha, we have to question ourselves. But the b'fifcha to facilitate teshuva, to trigger teshuva, to instill an awareness of chet, it could come from others also. But another major problem in our generation is that our generation is one which is sonei tochacha, which literally rendered hates rebuke. The Rambam writes in perek daled of Hilchos Teshuva that there are 24 things, and then the Rambam has subdivisions which tremendously complicate doing teshuva. It doesn't make teshuva impossible, but it makes it much, much more difficult, and it makes the likelihood of doing teshuva that much less. And one of the things the Rambam mentions is a person who is sonei es hatochacha. A person who is sonei es hatochacha, if I hate rebuke, if I turn a deaf ear to rebuke, so again, how am I going to be made aware of my shortcomings, of my inadequacies? And what happens again, it snowballs. What happens is once it's known that our generation is one of sonei tochacha, so then people don't even come forward with a tochacha. Because invariably, invariably, how many of us have seen such a scene in shul? Someone will give tochacha, so the response is מי שמך לאיש שר ושופט עלינו? Who appointed you as an officer to tell us what's right and what's wrong? I suspect that that disposition of being sonei tochacha, which our generation has, is probably something which by osmosis, by osmosis, we've absorbed from the society around us. And the society around us again, every person is autonomous, every person does what he wants, every person's lifestyle is equally valid, and hence, so who are you to tell me? But the Halacha's attitude towards tochacha is very different. For the Halacha, tochacha, when given with the proper motivation and the proper sensitivity, is an expression of love. It's not an intrusion. It's an expression of love. There's a remarkable, remarkable statement in the Medrash, the Netziv quotes it in one place. The Medrash says that כל אהבה שאינה עמה תוכחה אינה אהבה. That any love which doesn't contain an element, a component of tochacha, of rebuke, is not true love. Because if you genuinely love someone, so then if that person is going astray, if that person is sleepwalking, as the Rambam says, so you go over, you take the best tactic—99% of the time, the best tactic is to very gently try to wake the person, make him aware that that that he or she is sleepwalking. But כל אהבה שאינה עמה תוכחה אינה אהבה. For the halacha, again, offering rebuke is an expression of love, and we take it as an affront. The famous story with the Vilna Gaon, that the Vilna Gaon demanded that the Dubna Maggid—they were contemporaries—come and give him mussar. The Dubna Maggid was... he was terrified. How can I how can I give the the Vilna Gaon mussar? And the Vilna Gaon says, "No, you must. I have to, someone has to give me tochacha, so I I demand that you give me tochacha." And the Dubna Maggid proceeded to do so. He gave the ha-gaon ha-chasid mi-Vilna, he gave him tochacha. And yet our generation somehow or other we've sort of adopted the attitude that children should be recipients of tochacha, right? I think we we willingly and generously dole out doses of tochacha to our children, be it at home, be it in school, but for some reason think that as adults so we don't need to be beneficiaries of tochacha. So beficha la'asoto also means that people should see within us, they should see within us a willingness, a receptivity to tochacha, and then we'll benefit from that tochacha, we'll benefit from their expression of love. They'll show me what my faults are. And the final element of beficha as a key is we need to challenge ourselves, we need our friends, family members, colleagues, to know that we're ohev tochacha, so they'll volunteer the tochacha. And we also need that our rabbonim should know, that the rabbonim of of the kehillos should know that their kehilla wants wants the rabbonim to provide that type of guidance, and that they want to hear divrei mussar vehadracha from the rabbonim. Vedai lachakima biramiza. The posuk continues beficha uvelvavcha la'asoto. The second key is belvavcha. To do teshuva has to be belvavcha. So here the Torah is telling us that we encounter another barrier. Again, it's a self-imposed barrier when it comes to doing teshuva, and that is even if somehow or other there's enough of the beficha that I become aware of cheit, or the cheit is just so glaring that even without the beficha I can't help—I can't help, even with all my denial, it's not sufficient that that that I can avoid the specter of cheit. In order to do teshuva it has to be belvavcha. There has to be a conviction that I can do teshuva. There has to be the conviction that it's belvavi, if my heart wants, then I can do teshuva. And too often our reaction when we confront cheit is that I can't, I can't. Why can't I? I'm too old to change my habits. You're right, you're right. What you're telling me, it's true. I've been doing it for 40 years. You expect me to change after 40 years? I'm too busy. You're right, I should learn more. I don't learn enough. I'm too busy. You're right. What I did was wrong, but I'm only human. Doesn't Koheles say אדם אין צדיק בארץ אשר יעשה טוב ולא יחטא? So one has to be realistic. You can't, you can't hold me to such an unrealistic standard. You can't have such unreal expectations. I'm only human. I'll change, I'll change, not at this point, tomorrow. Or the final two excuses which we provide ourselves: It's too late for me. It's too late. I've sinned too much. And if only someone would help me, but I can't climb this hill myself. So let's look at each of these excuses and see what the Torah's response of bilvovcha tells us. I can't. I can't. I don't have the ability, whether it's due to age or any other perceived impairment. I can't. Says the Rambam in Hilchos Teshuva, רשות לכל אדם נתונה, and reshus in in this context doesn't just mean permission, it means the capacity, the ability. The capacity is given to every person. אם רצה להטות עצמו לדרך טובה ולהיות צדיק הרשות בידו.
If a person wants to incline himself to the path of goodness and to be a tzaddik, to be a righteous individual, he has that capacity. Conversely, אם רצה להטות עצמו לדרך רעה ולהיות רשע הרשות בידו.
If a person wants to follow the other path, he can do that as well. But maybe, maybe the Rambam is only speaking of at one's outset, at the outset of one's life. But maybe after I've made the wrong turn, so then maybe I've so sullied myself, maybe I've forfeited this capacity, maybe I no longer have this capacity? So the Rambam says at the end of halacha beis, no, that's not the case. הואיל ורשותנו בידינו ומדעתנו עשינו כל הרעות. Since we have this autonomy, הכל בידי שמים חוץ מיראת שמים in terms of righteousness or otherwise, we have complete autonomy. And ומדעתנו עשינו כל הרעות, and whatever any evil which I perpetrated was done of my own volition and of my own accord, says the Rambam, ראוי לנו לחזור בתשובה ולעזוב רשענו. It behooves us to repent, to do teshuva and to abandon that evil, shehareshus ata beyadenu, because we retain that capacity. There's nothing, there's nothing, there's no force which can overcome one's bechira chofshis. The strongest, strongest force in the universe is free will, is one's bechira chofshis. There's no such thing as I can't. I heard a remarkable, remarkable story, my brother told me he heard this on a tape, from the Talner Rebbe in Eretz Yisrael told the following story. The Gerer Rebbe, the Beis Yisrael, was consulted on the following issue. Someone wanted the guidance of the Gerer Rebbe and he said he can't explain it, but he has this inexplicable yetzer hara for avoda zara. He finds himself drawn, Rachmana litzlan, to the church. He has this inexplicable yetzer hara for avoda zara and he hasn't been able to likovesh that yetzer. Hasn't been able to conquer that yetzer hara. So the Gerer Rebbe was very agitated, very agitated at the suffering, at the struggles of this individual, and he was pacing back and forth, thinking. Then he says to his attendant, he says to shamus, 'Give me please a Gemara Shabbos.' He brings him the Gemara Shabbos. The Gerer Rebbe opens for the sixteenth perek in Masechet Shabbos, opens to a Gemara. The Gemara says that כל העונה אמן יהא שמיה רבא בכל כחו קורעין לו גזר דינו.
If a person answers an אמן יהא שמיה רבא with total focus, with total concentration, with all his mind and heart, so then in Shamayim they rip up any gzardeen which has been any decree which has been decided against him. Then the Gemara adds, אפילו יש בו שמץ עבודה זרה. Even if there's a shmeck, even if there's a little bit of avoda zara in him. So the Gerer Rebbe says to his shamus, he says 'What's the limud from this Gemara? What do you see from this Gemara?' So the shamus says, 'You see that korin lo gzardeen, even if there's even if there's some traces of avoda zara in him.' The Gerer Rebbe says 'No. What's the limud from this Gemara?' So the Gerer Rebbe says 'The limud from this Gemara is that even though there's a shemetz avoda zara, he has the capacity to be oneh אמן יהא שמיה רבא בכל כחו. That even if he's sunk so low that there's a shemetz avoda zara within him, he still retains that capacity to be oneh אמן יהא שמיה רבא בכל כחו. That the Beis Yisroel said is the limud from this Gemara.' So I can't. It's not true. It's not true. אפילו יש בו שמץ עבודה זרה. The Rambam's the Rambam's statement remains that רשות לכל אדם נתונה. A person can make himself like Moshe Rabbeinu or rachmana litzlan like Yerovam ben Nevat. There's no force which is too strong which can't be overcome if we marshal our bechira chofshis, our free will. What what about the I'm too busy? I'm too busy. The Gemara in Yoma tells us that עני ועשיר ורשע באין לדין. That le'asid lavo a poor man, a wealthy man, one who lived a promiscuous life will stand before the throne of judgment and each one will try to excuse and rationalize his behavior. What's the rationalization of the ashir? So the ashir says 'I was too busy.' מפני מה לא עסקת בתורה? How come how come you weren't koveya ittim latorah? אם אומר עשיר הייתי וטרוד הייתי בנכסי. I was wealthy. Do you know how large my portfolio was? Do you know how much time it takes to manage that portfolio? אומרים לו כלום עשיר היית יותר מרבי אלעזר? Were you more wealthy, were you richer than Rabbi Elazar? אמרו עליו על רבי אלעזר בן חרסום שהניח לו אביו אלף עיירות ביבשה וכנגדן אלף ספינות בים.
When his father died, he left an estate to רבי אלעזר בן חרסום of a thousand cities, a thousand cities and everything within it to רבי אלעזר בן חרסום and similar holdings on the ocean. What was רבי אלעזר בן חרסום's routine? בכל יום ויום נוטל נאד של קמח על כתפו ומהלך מעיר לעיר וממדינה למדינה ללמוד תורה.
He used to take a little bit of flour and put it in a flask and then he would wander looking for people to teach him Torah. And the Gemara says that מימיו לא הלך וראה אותן אלא יושב ועוסק בתורה כל היום וכל הלילה.
And the Gemara concludes: רבי אלעזר בן חרסום מחייב את העשירים. There's no such thing as being too busy. There's no such thing as being too busy. But But, but isn't that? So also in Shabbos's krias haTorah at the end of Parshas Nitzavim the Torah says ראה נתתי לפניך היום את החיים ואת הטוב את המות ואת הרע.
Hakadosh Baruch Hu says, "Look, today I'm presenting you with two options. There's one option chayim and tov, life, which is attained by following tov, choosing good, and rachmana litzlan death by choosing evil." And then uvacharta bachayim. So what's the impression you get from this passuk? The impression you get from this passuk is life is a very simple affair, right? Re'eh nasati lefanecha, everything's black and white, right? ראה נתתי לפניך היום את החיים ואת הטוב את המות ואת הרע,
everything is black and white, but it's not that way. Everything is not black and white. Life is so complicated. What? But the Torah's not taking that into account? How complicated, how much juggling, how much balancing we have to do, how much how much suffering there is at times? What do you mean everything is very simple? So the Torah here is telling us something profound, something profound. And that is yeah of course life is a complicated affair. Of course there is, of course that's true. But amidst all that complexity and amidst all that intricacy, certain things because of one's absolute loyalty and steadfastness, certain things they remain absolutes and they're non-negotiables. There's right and there's wrong no matter no matter how difficult and no matter what the nisayon is, there are certain things you don't do, right? You don't cheat in business no matter how difficult, no matter how bad the economy is. Yeah of course life is complicated. What do you do, what does a person do if rachmana litzlan he's unemployed and the job just he has to sort of cut corners a little bit on Shabbos? Not mamash chillul Shabbos, maybe a little bit of amira l'akum when the halacha doesn't really justify it, and you know cutting corners, not real real chillul Shabbos? So life is very complicated. Yeah, it's true life is complicated, full of challenges, full of complexity, says the Torah but that notwithstanding and the Torah says this with a full measure of sensitivity and empathy to our struggles and to the complexities of life. But life is also very simple. If there are certain absolutes in our life, then no matter how much complexity there is, so these things can't budge. I won't waver in this. The Rav zichrono livracha would say in his drashos, I'm thinking of one particular one from this I heard on a tape, it must have been I don't know from 50 years ago or something, the Rav was talking about the challenge of chinuch here in the United States. And as daunting as that may seem to parents today, so I'm not sure that we're even capable of imagining how daunting that challenge was 50 and 60 years ago. And the Rav said, "I don't know whether it's possible to raise children with profound yiras shamayim who'll be osek baTorah and at the same time give them a higher secular education that will allow them to function in the society, will allow them to integrate themselves economically into the society in which we live. I don't know if it's possible. However, one thing I do know," said the Rav, "whether it's possible or impossible we'll do it because we have no choice." That's exactly what the Torah is saying. Of course it was complex. The Rav was unaware of the complexities? He wasn't unaware of the complexities. But amidst all the complexity the Torah says with a full measure of sympathy and empathy to our struggles, re'eh nasati lefanecha some things remain simple. There's right and there's wrong. ראה נתתי לפניך היום את החיים ואת הטוב את המות ואת הרע.
So yeah I'm too busy, I'm too busy. It's true, it's true. But somehow or other it can't be that I'm going to live my life without kevi'as itim laTorah. So to paraphrase the Rav, I don't know whether it's possible or impossible but it can't be, it just What about the excuse which seems to be bolstered by none other than Shlomo HaMelech? I'm only human. So what are you challenging me, what are you throwing in my face, my shortcomings, my inadequacies, my failings, אדם אין צדיק בארץ אשר יעשה טוב ולא יחטא? I'm only human. The Rambam says that when one verbalizes the teshuva—and again, the verbalization simply mirrors the inner experience, otherwise it's worthless obviously—so the Rambam says that a person has to express regret at the aveira, a person has to express a sense of humiliation, and then the Rambam says ולעולם איני חוזר לדבר זה. I will never ever repeat this aveira. I will never ever repeat this aveira. So you want to make a bet? Never ever repeat the aveira? So every year, right, every year on Yom Kippur we say it, and then somehow or other we do have occasion to say it again. So what do you mean? So why is the halacha encouraging us to say something which again, if you want to give odds, the odds are that this is not going to pan out? That the ולעולם איני חוזר לדבר זה might not hold up? So why is the halacha encouraging us, encouraging us, no, say אשתדל שלא לעשות דבר זה. I'm going to try, I'll try very hard, esametz, I'll really try hard. No, the halacha says you have to be able to say with sincerity, with conviction, that ולעולם איני חוזר לדבר זה. How is that possible? Rashi tells us at the beginning of Chumash, Bereishis bara Elokim, later the pasuk says ביום עשות ה' אלקים ארץ ושמים. So initially the Torah employs the name of Hakadosh Baruch Hu Elokim, which represents middas hadin, the attribute of justice. Later the Torah attributes the beriah, it attributes the creation not to Hashem only in his capacity as judge, not just referring to the attribute of justice but Hashem Elokim, rachamim v'din. Why does the Torah shift? So Rashi quotes from Chazal because בתחילה עלה במחשבה לברא את העולם במידת הדין. Initially, again, we're speaking anthropomorphically here, initially when Hakadosh Baruch Hu conceived of the idea of creation, so Hakadosh Baruch Hu wanted to create the world that the world should function only according to middas hadin, the attribute of justice. ראה שאין העולם מתקיים, Hakadosh Baruch Hu took a second look kavyachol, saw that the world wouldn't exist, that none of us would be here if we had to answer to a strict middas hadin, and therefore שיתף עמו מידת הרחמים. And Hakadosh Baruch Hu blended alongside the middas hadin a middas harachamim. So what's the point here? Again, it's obviously anthropomorphic. Hakadosh Baruch Hu doesn't revise his plans. So what's the symbolism, what's the significance of depicting as though Hakadosh Baruch Hu's original idea was to create the world according to middas hadin and it was only the revised plans, it was the ma'adura basra which said that Hakadosh Baruch Hu should blend middas harachamim alongside it? So the answer is and I think I later found this in the Sfas Emes that b'techila ala bamachshava represents the ideal. The Torah tells us again describing it anthropomorphically as what Hakadosh Baruch Hu would have wanted to do, meaning that's the ideal. What we have to strive for is to be able to answer to a pure middas hadin. Yaakov Avinu says, some explain, Yaakov Avinu says אם יהיה אלקים עמדי. Yaakov Avinu, that's what he wants. He doesn't say אם יהיה ה' עמדי, he says אם יהיה אלקים עמדי, that Yaakov Avinu, he wants to be able to answer, to be accountable to middas hadin, to strive for perfection. That's b'techila ala bamachshava means that's what we have to strive for. Because what Koheles tells us, of course it's true, אדם אין צדיק בארץ אשר יעשה טוב ולא יחטא, but that's true even if we strive for perfection. That's true even if we resolve, again, with every fiber of our being that ולעולם איני חוזר לדבר זה, I will never ever do it again. Even so the... The likelihood is that we will be nichshal. So how much more so if we don't even strive for that? How much more so if we're unaware of the Bereshit Bara Elokim that the ideal again is that we should strive for such perfection to be able to answer the midat hadin. So a person can't have an attitude of I'm only human. No, if that's your attitude lechatchila, so then Rachmana litzlan we're going to end up much less than what we're capable of doing. A person's attitude has to be Bereshit Bara Elokim שבתחילה עלה במחשבה לבראתו העולם במידת הדין. I'm going to strive that everything I do is going to be perfect. Every word I say is going to be, is going to be calibrated correctly. Every action I do is going to be proper. If I strive for that, okay, so I'll still end up with Kohelet, but I'll be a lot closer to the ideal of midat hadin than if I don't aspire to that. I'll change tomorrow. If we say that, so then we're to'im bidvar Mishna. The Mishna says in Pirkei Avot שוב יום אחד לפני מיתתך. Do teshuva the day before you die. And as all the meforshim explain, since we don't know when the tomorrow is, since a person doesn't know when, when his time will be up, so the result is that a person is supposed to do teshuva every day. And that that's what Kohelet had in mind when he said בכל עת יהיו בגדיך לבנים. At every point one's clothing should be white, kasheleg yalbinu. And finally, what about it's too late? I've sinned so much. If only someone would help me. People tell themselves this also. I was once going to, to give a shiur. And the people who arranged the shiur, so they also arranged for transportation, so they sent a car service. So I get into the car service and the driver has this big ponytail, big bushy beard. And then, enjoying every moment and watching for my reaction, he starts talking to me in Yiddish. So after recovering from my initial shock, so we began talking. He tells me he grew up in a very, very religious neighborhood, but obviously had taken a wrong turn in life, and tells me, you know I had so many questions and there were no answers. So I said to him, what were some of your questions? So he says he was always bothered by the fact, why does the status of the child, Jew or Gentile, depend upon the mother? Why isn't there patrilineal descent? So I told him I didn't think people lost their emuna over such questions. The question is a good question and if you want we can talk about it, but I don't think people lose their emuna over such questions. It was a long ride. 20 minutes later, it turns out that he was married to a Gentile woman, and that his children were not his children. And then he says to me, without, he was telling me about his background, I wasn't telling him about mine, then he says to me, you know, if only, if only that Rabbi Soloveitchik from Yeshiva University was still alive, he could bring me back. But he's not here anymore, so I can't do it. So what's the answer, what's the answer to him? So the Gemara in Avodah Zarah tells us a similar story, right? The famous story with רבי אלעזר בן דורדיא. The Gemara tells us that רבי אלעזר בן דורדיא lived a life of such promiscuity that he visited every, every harlot that there was. There wasn't one that he didn't visit. פעם אחת שמע שיש זונה אחת בכרכי הים והיתה נוטלת כיס דינרין בשכרה. נטל כיס דינרין והלך ועבר עליה שבע נהרות.
And when he was about to sin yet again, so from all of sources, the woman says to him, the zonah, the harlot says to him, Elazar ben Dordia, Elazar ben Dordia, אין מקבלין אותו בתשובה. There's no way they're going to accept your teshuvah. You've sinned so egregiously. There's no way in Shamayim your teshuvah can ever be accepted. הלך וישב בין שני הרים וגבעות. He sat between two mountains, אמר הרים וגבעות בקשו עלי רחמים. Intercede! Help me! I can't do it alone. Intercede with the Ribbono shel Olam for me. So they say no, עד שאנו מבקשים עליכם נבקש על עצמנו. We have to implore for ourselves. We can't act in your behalf. שמים וארץ בקשו עלי רחמים. Heaven and earth, intercede for me. You plead to Hakadosh Baruch Hu in my behalf. אמרו לו עד שאנו מבקשים עליך נבקש על עצמנו. We have to worry about ourselves. חמה ולבנה בקשו עלי רחמים. The sun, the moon. So you, you implore the Ribbono shel Olam. אמרו לו עד שאנו מבקשים עליך נבקש על עצמנו. כוכבים ומזלות בקשו עלי רחמים.
The stars, the constellations. You intercede with Ribbono shel Olam. אמרו לו עד שאנו מבקשים עליך נבקש על עצמנו. Finally, finally he understood. אמר אין הדבר תלוי אלא בי. It's up to me. It's up to me. A person can wait and a person can think, oh, if only someone would help me, if only I lived in a different place, if only the circumstances of my life were different. אין הדבר תלוי אלא בי. הניח ראשו בין ברכיו. He put his head between his, between his knees, v'ga'ah bivchiyah and and he began with such heartfelt sobbing ad sheyatzah nishmato until he died. יצתה בת קול ואמרה, so the bas kol, the heavenly voice emerged and said, ר' אלעזר בן דורדיא מזומן לחיי העולם הבא. Rabbi Elazar ben Dordia is invited. A place is prepared for him in Olam Haba. Tosafos in one place says that wherever you have the lashon of מזומן לחיי העולם הבא, it means without any Gehennom. It means without any yissurim after death. It means straight to Gan Eden. בכה רבי ואמר יש קונה עולמו בשעה אחת. See what a person can accomplish in a single moment. The Ribbono shel Olam believes in us. The Ribbono shel Olam believes that we have the ability, that potentially we have the strength, that we have the willpower to do teshuvah. עד יום מותו תחכה לו. Right? We're going to say it in the Unetanneh Tokef. We're going to quote it in the piyut on Yamim Noraim. תשב אנוש עד דכא עד דכדוכה של נפש. Hakadosh Baruch Hu waits till the very last moment. So Hakadosh Baruch Hu believes in us, so how can we not believe in ourselves? כי קרוב אליך הדבר מאד בפיך ובלבבך לעשותו. Rabbi Meir left it to me to decide as to whether we should have some questions or not. I'll leave it up to you, the ulam. פוק חזי מאי עמא דבר. Is there an interest in asking a question? I know there's a special mood that we're leaving with, but on the other hand, maybe there are refinements, subtle points that might be clarified. Oh. I think I saw someone there first though. Henry. Rabbi Vice-President, I participated in coming up with the title for this lecture tonight and it comes from my profession as a social worker where I work with a veteran population, all of whom have disabilities either psychological or physiological, or in many cases both. And not to pat myself on the back, but the role of a counselor can be crucial in such a situation to getting a person to realize his or her potential and move on with their life. So I'm wondering if this situation can carry out in the area of teshuva as well. Yes, the person does have to do it, they have to be the one who's doing teshuva, but is there some way that they can get help, be it from a rebbe, talmid chacham, a significant other, spouse, friends, what have you? The answer is this. It's certainly the case that as in every area of life, the message of the Gemara in Avoda Zara which we left off is not that we don't have so much to gain and benefit from others and from guidance. It's just that we shouldn't view that as a dependence. But absolutely, I think the same way when we study Torah. So if a person finds himself stranded on a desert island without a teacher, so that's no excuse not to that he shouldn't study, right? But that doesn't imply, right, that's not there's no corollary which says well, therefore even if I find myself in Yerushalayim surrounded by chachamim and tremendous talmidei chachamim that I don't need to avail myself of them. So absolutely, you're entirely correct that one certainly should take advantage of all resources, but the point is that one should in so doing one should never lose sight of the fact that ultimately if the resources are there so of course take maximum advantage of them but ultimately אין הדבר תלוי אלא בי. Alright, Yitzi. Are there people who didn't daven Maariv yet? Raise your hands please. Let's go inside. Oh, thanks. It's still recording. How do I stop this thing? Donny, how do I stop this? How do I stop this thing? Still recording. Okay yeah, look at that. Just stop it.