The Rambam writes in Perek Beis of Hilchos Teshuva midarkei hateshuva repentance entails להיות השב צועק תמיד לפני השם בבכי ובתחנונים. The penitent constantly cries out before Hakadosh Baruch Hu with tears imploring Hashem עושה צדקה כפי כחו he engages in as many acts of tzedaka of charity as he is able to ומתרחק הרבה מן הדבר שחטא בו he distances himself as far as possible from that which occasioned his sin umeshane shemo כלומר אני אחר ואיני אותו האיש שעשה אותן המעשים. I'm not the same person who sinned. The one who sinned and who I am presently are two different people. The Rambam clearly tells us based on the Gemara in Rosh Hashanah that the mitzvah of teshuva is not simply to make adjustments not simply to feel a profound regret for a specific action or series of actions and to feel a sincere sense of resolve to correct to redress but teshuva involves teshuva has to involve a transformation of the personality. A person has to change eini oto ha'ish I'm not the same person. The Rambam is clearly here being prompted by the Gemara in Rosh Hashanah. The Gemara in Rosh Hashanah טז עמוד ב says that Amar Rabbi Yitzchak ארבעה דברים מקרעין גזר דינו של אדם. There are four things which can rip up an edict a heavenly decree which has been issued against a person and those four things which can be מקרעין גזר דינו של אדם after the Unesaneh Tokef I think it's at that point we sort of partially paraphrase this Gemara those four things are tzedaka giving tzedaka giving charity tze'akah crying out to Hakadosh Baruch Hu shinui hashem and shinui ma'aseh. Changing one's name and changing one's actions. That's the Gemara which is the source for the Rambam. The Ridvaz my father zichrono livracha used to margala bepumei he would often quote the Ridvaz on that Gemara. The Ridvaz articulates the very same idea he associates it not only with the shinui hashem not only that one of the four things which is able to be מקרעין גזר דינו של אדם which is able to again cause even an evil decree in shamayim which has been issued that that edict should be ripped up should be erased so the last of the two are shinui hashem and shinui ma'aseh. That one changes one's name and one changes one's actions. Says the Ridvaz the real pshat in shinui ma'aseh is not if I was eating treif that I stop eating treif. It's not if I was rachmana litzlan being mechallel Shabbos or talking lashon hara that I stop being mechallel Shabbos I stop I stop speaking lashon hara. That's self-understood we don't need Rabbi Yitzchak to tell us. The Ridvaz says what shinui ma'aseh means אפילו מעשים של רשות even things which are not intrinsically aveiros she'einam hagunim ketzat which are slightly slightly inappropriate hu meshane even these actions a person changes thereby implying klomar what statement does a person make by changing even those ma'asim shel reshus שהוא אדם אחר לגמרי I'm an entirely different person. So the whole person and the whole personality is transformed. That's what the mitzvah of teshuva is. Now if you step back for a moment and think about it when a person knows that he has a chiyuv to do teshuva and with a sense of obligation a person sets out to do teshuva so a person can fine-tune a person can make certain adjustments but if one is acting only out of a self-sense of obligation it's impossible it's impossible to transform oneself. It's impossible to undergo an experience that complete radical transformation which the Rambam the Ridvaz in expounding that Gemara in Rosh Hashanah are telling us about. In order to in order to experience that teshuva in order to experience a teshuva. that transforms the person, it's not enough to know that I'm obligated in teshuva and that I'm acting out of a sense of obligation. A person has to feel, not simply know, he has to feel a need to do teshuva, not just know that I have an obligation to do teshuva, I have to feel a need to do teshuva, I have to feel a sense of, a sense of urgency to do teshuva. It's only in response to that feeling that one can hope to live up to the challenge which the Rambam, which the Ridva set us, that as a result of one's teshuva, that we should be able to stand before the Kisei Hakavod and say רבונו של עולם איני אותו האיש. That list of actions that you have, וכל מעשינו בספר נכתבים, that list of actions that are inscribed above in shamayim, in the sefer, that wasn't me. I'm not the one who's responsible for that because I'm a changed person. It's not enough to feel a sense, to know that there's a sense of obligation, one has to feel a sense of urgency, one has to feel a need, one has to feel distant from Hakadosh Baruch Hu in order to undertake and in order to be able to experience such a teshuva. A little bit al derech hadrush homiletically, you know one is tempted to suggest, the Minchas Chinuch has his famous view that according to the Rambam, teshuva itself is not a mitzvah. Viduy, the recitation of the confession and and the resolve for the future, that that's a mitzvah, but teshuva itself is not a mitzvah. How can it be? So homiletically one is inclined to suggest that maybe if if one were to accept the Minchas Chinuch's approach, that this is the explanation. It can't be because you can't do teshuva simply in response to an obligation. I know that I'm chayav to take a lulav, I can take the lulav, I can take the lulav, I can take the lulav. If I know I'm chayav to do teshuva, that doesn't give me enough of an impetus to totally change myself. You can't change yourself because you know you're obligated to change yourself. You can only change yourself when you feel that need, when you feel that need, when when an alcoholic Rachmana Litzlan, so even when he's not in complete denial, he knows he needs to change, but he doesn't feel it, he doesn't feel it, he can't change him, can't change himself. When he hits rock bottom, when he loses his job, when when he's bankrupt, when when his marriage is crumbling, then he feels the need and so then, then he can change himself. A person has to feel the sense of urgency. But all of that then leaves us with a question: so what do we do? Here it is, three, four days before Rosh Hashanah, a few minutes, a few minutes before Selichos, we'll hear the the nusach, the niggun of Yamim Noraim for the first time this season. So what do I do? I don't feel the hisorerus. I know, I know there's a mitzvas teshuva. I know and the Sefer Hachinuch says that the deadline for the mitzvas teshuva, one is, one is guilty of being mevatel, of having neglected that mitzvah if by Yom Hakippurim one isn't aroused to do teshuva. I know it. So I know there's two weeks, two weeks, two weeks from tonight is going to be after, we'll already be after, after Neila. But I don't feel it. So how does a person awaken himself that he should feel that urgent need to do teshuva which will allow him again not just to fine tune, not just to adjust, not just to change an action, not just to change a single discrete attitude but to change himself entirely? So the Torah gives us certain aids, certain props. The Torah helps us. First of all, certainly mitzvas shofar has a special segula in it, has a special quality, a special special unique power embedded within the shofar to arouse a person, to awaken a person, to instill within a person the sense of eimah, of awe and dread of the Yamim Noraim. Rav Saadia Gaon in giving the ten reasons for mitzvas shofar, so one of the reasons he gives, he quotes the pasuk, אם יתקע שופר בעיר ועם לא יחרדו. Is it conceivable, is it imaginable that the shofar will be sounded throughout the city and the people won't tremble? Shofar has that segula, the famous That it's the wake-up call. עורו ישנים משנתכם ונרדמים הקיצו מתרדמתכם. Those who are awake, those who are sleeping, awaken from your sleep, from your slumber, vechapsu bema'aseichem. So the Torah gives us Mitzvat Shofar and again, there is a special, a special Segulah. We try to prepare ourselves for that Segulah with saying the למנצח לבני קרח מזמור. The Bnei Korach said this Kapittel Tehillim when they were על פתחו של גיהנם because originally they had been associated with the rebellion of Korach and his entourage, Korach Va'adato. על פתחו של גיהנם, so the Bnei Korach did Teshuvah. That Kapittel is supposed to prepare us for that special Segulah which Shofar has. One of my most powerful experiences, Rosh Hashanah every year, every year the Minhag, the Minhag in Chernobyl and beyond that as well is that the seventh time so the Rebbe says Lamnatzei'ach aloud. Many years later I heard that they used to say that in Chernobyl, so instead of having a Mussar Shmuess before Tkiat Shofar, the Mussar Shmuess was hearing the Lamnatzei'ach said aloud. So when my father, zichrono livracha, used to say the Lamnatzei'ach every year without fail, literally I used to tremble, literally. He didn't, it wasn't that he was saying it in such an overpowering voice, no he didn't, he didn't have it. He said it with a traditional Nusach, traditional Nusach and every year, every year in anticipation of the Tkiat Shofar, listening to the עלה אלהים בתרועה ה׳ בקול שופר, כי מלך כל הארץ אלהים,
that HaKadosh Baruch Hu is Melech over the whole world. You hear, you say the Psukim, you listen to the Psukim said. היתקע שופר בעיר ועם לא יחרדו. Teshuvah, Tkiat Shofar has that is given to us, is given to us because it has this special Segulah to awaken to Teshuvah. Another thing which HaKadosh Baruch Hu provides us to awaken us that we should not only know that there's a Mitzvat Teshuvah, but we should feel experientially the need to do Teshuvah. We read about in this morning's Kriyat HaTorah, והיה כי יבאו אליך כל הדברים האלה הברכה והקללה. When a person, Rachmana Litzlan, again either personally or through identifying with the Tzaros, with the suffering of the Klal of the Jewish people as a whole, when a person experiences not only the Beracha Vehaklala, והיה כי יבאו אליך כל הדברים האלה הברכה והקללה, and then והשבות אל לבבך בכל הגוים אשר הדיחך ה׳ אלהיך שמה,
a person should take to heart, why is all this happening throughout wherever the Jewish people have been dispersed? And what's the reaction, what's the response when a person again either personally or collectively thinking about all the terrible, terrible indescribable Tzaros in Eretz Yisrael? So that is a, that is supposed to arouse a person not only to know that there's a Mitzvat Teshuvah, but to feel the need and the urgency to do Teshuvah. Says the Torah what's the response to והיה כי יבאו אליך? The response to והיה כי יבאו אליך הוא ושבת עד ה׳ אלהיך. You'll do Teshuvah and you'll come back, you'll return to HaKadosh Baruch Hu. But ultimately, ultimately any aid or prop or prompt which the Torah gives us depends upon our receptivity and our sensitivity. And perhaps the most powerful impetus and catalyst to Teshuvah, to changing oneself, to a total, total overhaul and transformation of one's personality is when one encounters HaKadosh Baruch Hu. Let's first just remind ourselves of the description of Nevuah, the ultimate encounter with HaKadosh Baruch Hu. So Shmuel tells Shaul, וצלחה עליך רוח ה׳. The spirit of HaKadosh Baruch Hu is going to pass over you. vehisnabeiso imom, you will join the rank of prophets and you too will prophesy, venehepachta leish acher, and you'll become a changed person, you'll change into a different person. That experience of encountering Hakodesh Baruch Hu, of encountering kedusha, so that will change you. venehepachta leish acher. The goal of teshuva, that's what the navi achieves as a result of his encounter with the Ribbono Shel Olam. Similarly, when Eliyahu comes, and the navi describes the meeting between Eliyahu and Elisha, so in Sefer Melachim the navi describes Vayelech misham, that Eliyahu Hanavi went וימצא את אלישע בן שפט. He encountered Elisha ben Shafat. What was Elisha doing? vehu choresh. He was a farmer, he was plowing. שנים עשר צמדים לפניו. There were twelve pairs of oxen in front of him, vehu bishneim he'asar, and Elisha was standing all the way in the back with the twelfth pair of oxen. Vaya'avor Eliyahu elav, Eliyahu passed to Elisha, Vayashlech adarto elav, and he threw his cloak, his mantle onto Elisha. What was the significance of the aderes of Eliyahu Hanavi, his mantle, of his cloak? So the Malbim explains that in this cloak, it embodied as it were, it was almost tangible, רוחניות שקרן עליו מעת היותו במערה, that intense degree of spirituality which radiated from Eliyahu Hanavi from the time he had been hiding in the cave. So that was almost tangibly, tangibly associated with the, with his aderes, with his cloak, analogous to כמסוה על פני משה, the mask which Moshe Rabbeinu had. And as a result, what happens when Elisha encounters Hakodesh Baruch Hu? Again, the kedusha being channeled, being funneled through the aderes of Eliyahu. So what happens all of a sudden? Elisha, until this time a farmer, Vaya'azov es habakar, so right away he abandons the oxen, Vayarotz acharei Eliyahu, and he runs after Eliyahu, ויאמר אשקה נא לאבי ולאמי, I'll kiss my parents, Ve'elcha acharecha. I'm not the same person. Right now my life is going to be devoted, I'm going to serve you and I too will become a navi. Eliyahu Hanavi tests him. Eliyahu Hanavi wants to see if it's really sincere, so Eliyahu Hanavi tries to push him aside, ויאמר לו לך שוב. No, go back, go back to your farm work, כי מה עשיתי לך. What did I do? I dropped my, I dropped my cloak. But Elisha won't, won't be deterred. וישב מאחריו ויקם וילך אחרי אליהו וישרתהו. Here too we see again that encounter with Hakodesh Baruch Hu, Elisha is totally transformed through that encounter. But that's an encounter of nevuah, and on the contrary, what we're talking about is when we're shroy, when we're immersed in cheit, in sin. So how can we look for an encounter with Hakodesh Baruch Hu to be the catalyst for that teshuva which transforms? So the answer is in a pasuk in Parshas Acharei Mos, part of the kerias hatorah Yom Kippurim in the morning, and it's a major, major principle of teshuva, of Torah. The Torah has the phrase השוכן אתם בתוך טמאתם. Rashi comments on the pasuk that Hakodesh Baruch Hu's Shechina is with us even when we're tamei. Even when we're tamei, even when we have defiled ourselves with sin, Hakodesh Baruch Hu's Shechina, His presence is with us and we experience it. Of course we experience it in a different way than when we experience it mitoch tahara, from purity and from kedusha and from holiness, but השוכן אתם בתוך טמאתם. That encounter with Hakodesh Baruch Hu is there after cheit as well. What happens when Adam HaRishon, when Adam HaRishon sins and he eats from the Etz HaDa'as? So the Torah tells us that Adam and Chava at that point, after eating from the Etz HaDa'as, so then they encounter Hakodesh Baruch Hu. וישמעו את קול השם אלקים מתהלך בגן לרוח היום. Adam and Chava who were a minute ago, a moment ago, had been so, so distant from HaKadosh Baruch Hu as to disregard the only mitzvah which they were given and then they couldn't, they couldn't overcome the temptation and they succumbed. The only aveira that was possible for them and they succumbed. So when they hear the kol Hashem Elokim, so what's their result right away? Vayischabei haAdam veishto. They hide. HaKadosh Baruch Hu says to him, where are you Adam? Vayomer lo Ayeka. Adam HaRishon answers, ויאמר את קולך שמעתי בגן, I heard your, the sound of your voice kavyachol being projected throughout the Gan Eden va'ira. And I was afraid, I feared. ואירא כי עירם אנכי, that I'm, that I'm bereft of the one mitzvah you had given me, ואירא כי עירם אנכי ואחבא. Adam HaRishon encounters HaKadosh Baruch Hu mitoch cheit. The Rav comments on this, on this pattern from time immemorial whenever the identity of the individual and community were shattered, man encounters HaKadosh Baruch Hu and he refers to Adam HaRishon after his fall, Moshe Rabbeinu after the eigel hazahav. Religious experience is born in crisis. So Hashochein itam, and again this is the yesod of השוכן אתם בתוך טומאתם, that we can, we can and we do experience HaKadosh Baruch Hu not even, even in tumah, but it's part of the chesed of HaKadosh Baruch Hu, part of the, perhaps, part of what's intended when we talk about the י"ג מידות הרחמים of Hashem Hashem. That one name means that Hashem is with us, He's HaKadosh Baruch Hu kodem hachet. And the second name of ה' ה' אל רחום וחנון is that HaKadosh Baruch Hu is Hashem Melech Rachamim with us after the cheit also. Is that not only even besoch tumosam, not only even in the midst of our tumah, of our defilement, do we find Hashem but especially there, especially HaKadosh Baruch Hu reaches out to us and that act of reaching out to us, that can serve as the catalyst for that transformation. When one encounters HaKadosh Baruch Hu, so if one takes advantage of that, if one experiences it, if one absorbs it, so then the result is Venehepachti le'ish acher, exactly what the mitzvah of teshuvah demands from us. But is it really, is it really correct, is it really appropriate to equate the experience of the navi, that encounter with HaKadosh Baruch Hu with the experience of teshuvah, the encounter of HaKadosh Baruch Hu which a chotei has? So listen to a remarkable, remarkable observation again which my father zichrono livracha made. Remember we read just a few moments ago the beautiful passage from the Rambam where he talks about the remez of tekias shofar. What's the remez of tekias shofar? Klomar, עורו ישנים משנתכם ונרדמים הקיצו מתרדמתכם. You who are asleep awaken and those of you who are slumbering arouse yourselves. Chipsu bema'aseichem, scrutinize your actions וחזרו בתשובה וזכרו בוראכם and remember, remember your Creator. Now let's pay special attention to the next few words. אלו השוכחים את האמת. Who is the kol shofar addressed to? It's addressed to us. Who? Hashochechim es ha'emes behavlei hazman because of the futilities, because of transient, ephemeral futilities ושוגים כל שנותם בהבל וריק אשר לא יועיל ולא יציל
and they waste their time, their years, their days with futility, with emptiness, vapid, which can't help. Habitu lenafshoseichem. Look at your souls vehetivu darcheichem uma'alaleichem. Okay, so the baal teshuvah is someone who has to recognize that he's been entrapped by havlei hazman. That's who the baal teshuvah is. Now listen to the Rambam's formula for how a person merits nevuah, how a person prepares himself for nevuah. So the Rambam writes in Perek Zayin of Hilchos. It's one of the the foundational beliefs of Torah to know that there is prophecy, that Hakadosh Baruch Hu grants prophecy to people, and then the Rambam describes how a person merits how a person merits Nevuah. So this person who merits Nevuah is miskadesh veholech. He sanctifies himself and it's a constant, constant process of ascension as he sanctifies himself ופורש מדרכי כלל העם. He separates himself from the ways of most people haholechim bemachashakei hazman. Again, the the same emphasis on the ephemeral and the transient, right? Haholechim bemachashakei hazman. And he separates himself from that, but the the parallelism in the lashon comes even more striking umelamed nafsho, he trains his soul, he trains himself שלא תהיה לו מחשבה כלל באחד מדברים בטילים. His mind is never preoccupied, he never gives a thought to idle matters ולא מהבלי הזמן ותחבולותיו. He's not concerned, he doesn't give a thought to transient, ephemeral, petty nonsense. It doesn't, he doesn't give a thought to that. אלא דעתו פנויה תמיד, but rather his mind is always open and he's always concentrating on Hakadosh Baruch Hu, on serving Hakadosh Baruch Hu. So what is the Baal, what's the challenge of the Baal Teshuva? He has to recognize that he's been ensnared, he's been entrapped by Havlei Hazman and he has to overcome that, he has to transcend that. How does the Navi prepare himself for his encounter, for the ultimate encounter with Hakadosh Baruch Hu? It's the same thing. He has to have freed himself from the Havlei Hazman vesachbulosav. And the result again, obviously in in different degrees, in different magnitude, obviously, but the result is the same, venahpachta leish acher. The Navi encounters Hakadosh Baruch Hu in one way, but השוכן אתם בתוך טומאתם, the secret again of השוכן אתם בתוך טומאתם that Hakadosh Baruch Hu resides with us, amongst us even besoch tumosam. That Adam Harishon, Adam Harishon again, he has a Nevuah from Hakadosh Baruch Hu when he's most distant from Hakadosh Baruch Hu. As soon as Klal Yisrael sin, so right away Moshe Rabbeinu has a Nevuah, albeit לך רד כי שחת עמך, but it's a Nevuah, it's an encounter with Hakadosh Baruch Hu. As we precisely because we are choteim, ה' ה' קל רחום וחנון, Hashem again, signify representing middos harachamim and the attribute of of mercy, of compassion is not only Hashem lifnei hachet, not only before a person sins, but leachar hachet as well. And it's the Hashem leachar hachet, השוכן אתם בתוך טומאתם who resides with us even when we sin, we can encounter him and that encounter, if only we'll avail ourselves of it, if only we'll allow ourselves to experience to experience that, so then that changes a person, it reorders his priorities, it reorders everything in life, what's important and what's not important, what a person should devote his time to, what a person should devote his energies to. Now, this life-changing encounter with Hakadosh Baruch Hu is facilitated in two ways. That life-changing encounter which we, prospective, aspiring Baal Teshuva long for, which we need so desperately, is facilitated in two ways. First of all, what the Rambam writes in the Moreh Nevuchim, the Rema quotes at the beginning of Shulchan Aruch, the very first Rema in Shulchan Aruch is by fulfilling the mandate of David Hamelech, שיויתי ה' לנגדי תמיד. A person encounters Hakadosh Baruch Hu, Hakadosh Baruch Hu is is here, Hakadosh Baruch Hu is with us, but a person has to be focused on him, a person has to be thinking about it, a person has to be looking for Hakadosh Baruch Hu in order, in order to to experience it, in order to encounter him. A person has to be a mevakesh. Person has to be searching, seeking, and and the searching and the seeking is by being constantly mindful of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, שיויתי ה' לנגדי תמיד. But the Torah goes further than that. The Hashem, Hashem, מידות הרחמים לאחר החטא goes further than that. We're given even more. help, even more assistance in experiencing the Hakadosh Baruch Hu who is שוכן אתם בתוך טומאתם. The Gemara in Rosh Hashanah tells us a Gemara with which we're all familiar: Dirshu Hashem behimatzo, seek Hashem when He is to be found, when Hashem is close. So אלו עשרת ימים שבין ראש השנה ליום הכיפורים. Hashem is behimatzo in this period of the year from Rosh Hashanah to Yom Kippur. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is behimatzo, meaning that it's easier, it's easier to experience, to encounter Hakadosh Baruch Hu in these ten days from Rosh Hashanah culminating with Yom Kippur, the Aseres Yemei Teshuva, than on any other day of the year. And within the ten days, so the kedushas hayom of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur again allows us, makes that encounter and makes that experience all the more, all the more accessible to us. The famous Gemara in Rosh Hashanah says, Amar Rabbi Akiva, why do we have a mitzvah of saying the psukim, the verses, of Malchuyos, Zichronos, and Shofros, talking about Hakadosh Baruch Hu's sovereignty, Hakadosh Baruch Hu's providence over the world, Hakadosh Baruch Hu's omniscience and judging the world? Why do we have a mitzvah to say psukim of Malchuyos? Vayehi bishurun melech. ה׳ ימלוך לעולם ועד. Why do we have that mitzvah on Rosh Hashanah? Says Rabbi Akiva, אמרו לפני מלכויות כדי שתמליכוני עליכם. But there's something, there's the omek hapshat here is something very profound which we can easily miss. It sort of sounds, sounds somewhat circular. Say Malchuyos so you will have coronated Me. Coronate Me so you will have coronated Me. When one looks in the Gemara in Rosh Hashanah in context, so this is part of a whole series of statements which Rabbi Akiva says. Rabbi Akiva says that since on Pesach, excuse me, since on Pesach we're judged about tevuah, so therefore we have the mitzvah of bringing the Minchas HaOmer. אמר הקדוש ברוך הוא, bring the Omer on Pesach and in that zechut titbarech lachem hatvuah. There will be a blessing on the crop of grain. You do one thing to yield a different result. The thing you're doing, the medium is to bring the Korban Omer, the flour offering on the second day of Pesach, and the desired result which we're trying to achieve is that there should be blessing on the grain. Similarly, Hevi'u, you bring the Shtei HaLechem on Shavuos. Why? Because on Shavuos is the day of judgment for peiros ha'ilan. So in the zechut, in the merit of bringing the Shtei HaLechem, so then we'll have bracha for the peiros ha'ilan, for the fruits of the tree. So in each case, what Rabbi Akiva is commenting on, you have one mitzvah which is intended to yield a certain result. And yet when it comes to Rosh Hashanah, why does Hakadosh Baruch Hu say that on Rosh Hashanah, אמרו לפני מלכויות כדי שתמליכוני עליכם? It seems to be just repetitious. Say Malchuyos so you'll have mamlich Me. So the answer is no, that the real pshat in what Rabbi Akiva is saying is imru lefanai Malchuyos. Say the psukim. Say the psukim k'dei shetamlichuni aleichem, so you'll experience the malchuyos. Say the psukim. Try to muster as much kavana as you can for ה׳ ימלוך לעולם ועד, for Vayehi bishurun melech u'sruat melech bo. Shema Yisrael. Try to muster as much kavana as you can and say those psukim. Why? k'dei shetamlichuni aleichem that you'll experience the malchuyos. On Rosh Hashanah again, Hakadosh Baruch Hu is so close to us, Dirshu Hashem behimatzo, but especially on Rosh Hashanah, k'dei shetamlichuni aleichem that we can experience that malchuyos. A person experiences that malchuyos, he feels that malchuyos, he feels malchus shamayim. So again, that's the impetus, that's the catalyst for now, in the presence of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. When one encounters Hakadosh Baruch Hu but one doesn't feel prepared, so Chazal again, let's draw on that analogy again between teshuva and nevuah. What happens in Parshas Behaalotecha when Aharon and Miriam are not prepared for their encounter with Hakadosh Baruch Hu? So Chazal reconstruct, they describe, Rashi quotes it, that they were crying: הביאו מים הביאו מים. We have to go to the mikvah. We're not ready. They feel this urgent need because when one encounters Hakadosh Baruch Hu and one is defiled, one is in a state of tuma, so then one feels that urgent need to cleanse, an urgent need for catharsis, to purify oneself. And on Rosh Hashanah, if not beforehand, if not beforehand, then on Rosh Hashanah, imru lefanai Malchuyos. אמרו לפני מלכויות כדי שתמליכוני עליכם a person can experience that malchuyos and then when a person encounters Hakadosh Baruch Hu השוכן אתם בתוך טומאתם so then a person feels that urgent need to change. It's no longer a question of just knowing intellectually I have a mitzvah to do teshuvah, but one feels an urgent need to do teshuvah to transform himself. If a person is zocheh to reach this this stage of having this hisorerus, this awakening, this arousal to do teshuvah, not just to fine-tune, not just to make adjustments, but to transform, so what are some of the things, what are some of the things that we should think about? So obviously we could talk about this for hours and hours on end, but let's try to mention just a few salient points. First of all, Anochi Hashem Elokecha. What does Anochi Hashem Elokecha mean? Anochi Hashem Elokecha, the shem Yud-Kei-Vav-Kei, the shoresh, the root in Loshon Hakodesh from which the name of Hakadosh Baruch Hu Yud-Kei-Vav-Kei is formed, the shoresh Havayah means existence. Hakadosh Baruch Hu says Anochi Hashem, I am existence, I am the source of existence, and what's more I exclusively exist. And addressing himself to each and every one of us, Hakadosh Baruch Hu says, and you exist only because of me, you're beholden to me, and you exist only because I allow you to partake of my existence. Anochi Hashem Elokecha. Homiletically, the same idea can be understood that a person's anochi, a person's sense of self, his personal identity, what should one's anochi be? What should one's anochi be? That Hashem is Elokecha, Hashem is Elokecha. And the pasuk Shema Yisrael identifies who Hakadosh Baruch Hu is השם אלוקינו השם אחד. The Rambam in Sefer Hamitzvos, Mitzvas Aseh Beis, has a remarkable remarkable equation. The Rambam says that this mitzvah of knowing that Hashem, again, who exists absolutely and everything else that exists is dependent upon him for their existence and exists only because of him and through him, so the Rambam says we should know that Hashem is echad. Right? All this seems to be profound fundamental theological beliefs. Then the Rambam says but this mitzvah's also known as קבלת עול מלכות שמיים. Now קבלת עול מלכות שמיים, that's not a theological principle, that's talking about religious commitment. קבלת עול מלכות שמיים, accepting the yoke of heaven, that's not a question of of theological philosophical beliefs, that's a question of religious commitment. The Rambam says hainu hach, there can't be any any discrepancy between the two. If a person recognizes that that one is entirely beholden to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, Hakadosh Baruch Hu the source of of existence, source of kedushah, source of good, source of everything, so then one's commitment to Hakadosh Baruch Hu has to be absolute and hence there's an equation between the the belief of Anochi and Shema Yisrael and the practical religious commitment. The question which we have to ask ourselves, it's not an easy question, it's a very very painful question and it it's a question which leaves us feeling vulnerable and feeling exposed, but if we can't ask the question a few minutes before Selichos, so then when can we ask the question? Is our belief of Anochi Hashem Elokecha, does our belief of Shema Yisrael השם אלוקינו השם אחד, does that translate into the absolute religious commitment to the word of Hashem, to the will of Hashem as communicated to us in his Torah? Or do we have certain lines? There are certain things, there are certain intrusions in my life which I'll allow Torah, I'll tolerate, but there are certain lines, right? In every relationship we all draw lines. There's only there's only so much we'll allow our boss to tell us we have to do, and then at a certain point עד כאן ולא יוסיף we draw a line. And in every relationship it's like that. we draw lines. But there's one relationship in which there can't be any lines, and that's our relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Anochi Hashem Elokecha, I, Hakadosh Baruch Hu absolutely exist, am the source of everything, everything, again, kedusha, everything that we aspire for. And if that's the case, if Hakadosh Baruch Hu, again, as He does, exists absolutely, that has to translate into an absolute commitment. There can't be any lines of ad kan. And yet there are some very, very sensitive areas in our lives where we draw lines. Where we draw lines. Are we willing to hear from others or even from ourselves? Are we willing to hear that the Torah has guidelines for dress, right? And especially the incongruence between the styles of the Western world and the Torah's conception of tznius and modesty. Are we willing to hear? Is our commitment absolute? Are we willing to hear that the Torah has guidelines, again, specifically because the incongruence is greater here between how modern fashion suggests women should dress and how the Torah suggests women should dress? Where the neckline should be, what the length of the sleeves should be, what the length of the skirt, or is that, is that, is that intruding too much on my personal life? But there can't be any lines drawn in our commitment to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. And the willingness to hear that is not only on the part of women. The willingness to hear that has to be on the part of men. Husbands are also responsible. It's not, it's not that the onus, it's not that the onus of compliance is solely on the women. No, that's something which husbands have to hear as well. Are we willing to hear that or is that something which that test, is our commitment absolute or is the commitment there but it's not absolute because that's too personal? You're invading my personal turf too much. You can't tell me that. Is that our response? Now if we seek to take advantage of the possibility of encountering Hakadosh Baruch Hu, that possibility is greatest during Aseres Yemei Teshuva, on Rosh Hashana and Yom HaKippurim, but the possibility exists all year long also. And let's highlight two oases of kedusha which can, if only we take advantage of them the way they're intended to be taken advantage of, which can help us encounter Hakadosh Baruch Hu all year long also. One oasis is a temporal one, the other is a spatial one. The temporal one is Shabbos. The spatial one is our batei knesiyos and batei midrashos, our shuln and batei medrash. The Torah says that Shabbos is a day of rest. Do we take advantage of Shabbos as a day of rest, or somehow or other have we converted it from a day of rest into a day of vacation? How do we, how do we know? So sometimes there are little, right, any, any doctor, whether in physical health or mental health, knows that sometimes there are clues which in and of themselves don't seem so significant, but if a person can recognize what the underlying cause is, or in our analog, what the underlying conception is, so one realizes that they're not insignificant at all. One of the, one of the things which one observes on Shabbos is that there's a tendency, a tendency to dress very casually. A tendency, it becomes most pronounced Shabbos Mincha, but it's not even limited to Shabbos Mincha. There's a tendency that to come to shul maybe only with a sweater or maybe only in shirt sleeves, even though what the standard should be in Eretz Yisrael is not our focus now, it needn't be our focus now. We live here, even though clearly, clearly, no one considers that formal dress in the United States. For an important meeting in the office, so one wouldn't, one wouldn't come without jacket and tie, and yet how is it that we come to shul casual, sweater, open, open collar? How is it? The answer is that we've confused the Torah's concept of a day of rest with the Western concept of the weekend and day of vacation. The Torah's concept of a day of rest means that it's a day, remember the Rav zichrono l'vracha, the way he formulated it is, it's a day when we're given respite from the klala, from the curse to Adam haRishon. Adam haRishon was told after his cheit, after his sin בזיעת אפיך תאכל לחם that his whole, that his whole life he was going to by the sweat of his brow what he would eke out his parnasa. He was going to have to work very hard and such involvement with the mundane. That was the klala. Shabbos, the Rav explained, that's the respite from the klala. So it's a day of rest, it's a day of respite from that klala, from that involvement, from that struggle for parnasa, from that struggle for livelihood, from having all these mundane concerns hoisted upon us. It's a day of rest, a day of rest for what? The Yerushalmi says to learn Torah, to recharge our batteries, to immerse ourselves in ruchniyus. That's a day of rest, but it's not a day of vacation. It's a day of rest, it's a special day, it's a holy day, it's the holiest day on the Jewish calendar, and it's a day where one shows one's appreciation of the day by one's special dress, and one tries to take advantage of this oasis, of this temporary oasis of kedusha by learning as much and by being involved as much as possible with limud haTorah to an extent which is usually not possible all week long. That's one oasis of kedusha that we have to help us in our search to encounter Hakadosh Baruch Hu all year long also. The spatial oasis that we have, our shul and in Batei Midrash, our Batei Knessios and Batei Midrashos. Batei Knessios and Batei Midrashos, you know, in the Misheberach that we say after the Yekum Purkan before Mussaf on Shabbos, we speak of מי שמיחד בתי כנסיות לתפילה. So the people like to quip that what it means is מי שמיחד בתי כנסיות לתפילה, that they set aside Batei Knessios for tefillah, meaning that all they do in their shul is they daven, they don't talk in their shul and they don't think about all other things, but they meyached them l'tefillah. A shul is a place ultimately, ultimately, what does it mean that a person should be oved Hashem? Ultimately, what does it mean when the mishna says in Pirkei Avos התקן עצמך בפרוזדור כדי שתכנס לטרקלין, that our life in Olam Hazeh is a preparation for life in Olam Haba? What it means is that a person is supposed to work on his relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu, that a person should be comfortable one-on-one with the Ribono Shel Olam, one-on-one with the Ribono Shel Olam. When we come to shul and instead of focusing on davening single-mindedly for the forty-five minutes it takes during the week, for the two hours that it takes on Shabbos morning, instead of focusing and being with Hashem, being with Hashem one-on-one, that's part of the rationale of mechitzah, of being with Hashem one-on-one, away from some of the family bonds and away from distractions, but being with Hakadosh Baruch Hu one-on-one, so then we prepare ourselves for that, for what our ultimate goal and ultimate destiny is. But when we come to shul and we talk with our neighbors, we talk with our neighbors, so then here the Torah gives us this golden opportunity of a Beis Knesseth, of tefillah, to come close to Hashem, to be comfortable with Hashem, to prepare ourselves for our ultimate destiny, which is to have a rendezvous with the Ribono Shel Olam, and we squander it because we're busy talking, we're busy talking. And it's mind-boggling, one sees in shul it's absolute. absolutely mind-boggling. You see father and son sitting next to each other, people who can and probably do and it's wonderful sit and talk over the dinner table, so why do you why is it necessary to sit and talk in shul also? It's wonderful, there's nothing there's nothing more heart-warming than to see father and son talking together, it doesn't have to be in shul. Talk together, talk together during the Friday night seuda, when you come to the meal Shabbos morning. There's no need for father and son or or neighbors to be sitting and talking. That's the time to work on one's relationship one-on-one with Hakadosh Baruch Hu. And finally, maybe one last area that we can try to work on in trying to have this encounter with Hakadosh Baruch Hu, in trying to constantly feel closer to the Ribbono Shel Olam, so another another part of the arsenal with which we've been equipped is brachos. Saying brachos is a constant reminder of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, is constantly pushing us to that encounter, sensitizing us to Hakadosh Baruch Hu's presence, that we should encounter Him and that we should be able to benefit from that transformative effect that it has on us. But there's just one catch, there's one catch: we have to stop and think about the bracha we're saying. When we mumble, when we mumble the bracha, so then it doesn't it doesn't achieve its purpose. A person stops and thinks, just says it slowly, stops and thinks and he's mechaven the kavanos for Hashem and he's mechaven the kavanos for Elokeinu, so then a person 100 times a day has this is constantly barraged with this reminder: Hakadosh Baruch Hu is with you, Hakadosh Baruch Hu is right near you. Look and you'll be able to feel His presence, you'll be able to experience His presence, you'll be able even if right now you're sullied by cheit, the halacha tells us השוכן אתם בתוך טמאתם. We need to take these reminders, take advantage of these reminders. Halevai the Ribbono Shel Olam, the Ribbono Shel Olam should let us respond to the cue and the prompting of mitzvas shofar, he should let us respond to the tzaros which have been inflicted on Klal Yisrael these past years in Eretz Yisrael and most of all השוכן אתם בתוך טמאתם, each of us individually and all of us collectively, again should hear, should hear the kol Hashem Elokim which comes davka le'achar hacheit when a person is most distant to help him encounter Hakadosh Baruch Hu then and to help us feel that urgent need of haviu mayim, haviu mayim, a figuratively mikvah, figuratively mikvah, and in that zechus we should be able to do a teshuva shleima, we should all be zocheh for a ksiva vachasima tova.