The first two sources I'll mention are not in the sheet you have in front of you. I apologize. Rabbeinu Yonah at the beginning of Sha'arei Teshuvah in talking about the damage, the danger of procrastinating in doing Teshuvah, writes as follows: ועוד התבונן ברעות המאחר מן התשובה כי רבה היא. Reflect upon the fallout from procrastinating in doing Teshuvah because it's very great. Reflect upon the fallout from procrastinating in doing Teshuvah because it's very great. Ki lulei hitmahmeha. If a person hadn't procrastinated, if he had done Teshuvah promptly, כי עתה שב נאנח במרירות לב ברוגז ובדאגה. If a person had repented experiencing fully the bitterness, the anguish, the anxiety associated with doing Teshuvah, כי יפגשהו יצרו שנית ויזדמן החטא לידו יכבוש את יצרו.
When he would encounter that same temptation, that same test, that same trial, he would overcome his Yetzer, ויזכור אשר עבר עליו כל המרירות ולא יוסיף לשתותה עוד,
and he would remember the cup of bitterness that he had to drink in doing the Teshuvah. The depiction of Teshuvah that Rabbeinu Yonah provides us is remarkable. It's not the casual perfunctory performance that we're all too familiar with. Rabbeinu Yonah describes Teshuvah as a gut-wrenching experience. A person experiences merirus, bitterness, rogez, de'agah, distress, anxiety, all of which is inherent in confronting cheit. He says if only a person would, if only we would do Teshuvah promptly, so then that association of distress and anxiety with cheit would be the best preventive measure, the most effective and potent preventive measure. Ramchal also when he mentions Teshuvah, the process of Teshuvah, speaks of מצטער בלבו צער חזק. A powerful sense of distress grips a person. The Abarbanel says that in addition to the normative Torah Shebe'al Peh interpretation of ve'inisem on Yom Kippur, there's an additional level of interpretation that the Torah also has in mind. In addition to abstaining from food, drink, washing, et cetera, ve'inisem also means that we afflict ourselves in confronting cheit and in doing Teshuvah. Not a physical affliction, an existential one. Perhaps we'll reflect together for a few minutes as to why this depiction of teshuvah doesn't resonate sufficiently with us and what we can do to spark a teshuvah process that conforms to Rabbeinu Yonah, Ramchal, the Abarbanel's description. Let's begin that exploration with the first passage we have here in the Rambam. לעולם יראה אדם עצמו כאילו הוא נוטה למות. A person should view himself, herself, as on the threshold of death rachmana litzlan. v'shema yamut besha'ato and recognize the possibility that the next few moments may be his last. venimtza omeid becheto and if the status quo be allowed to continue, a person will still be mired in cheit rachmana litzlan. לפיכך ישוב מחטאיו מיד. This should galvanize a person to repent immediately. ולא יאמר כשאזקין אשוב. And a person shouldn't postpone and say, "I have plenty of time, when I grow old, then I'll repent." שמא ימות קודם שיזקין. Lest a person leave this world before he reaches old age. הוא ששלמה אמר בחכמתו בכל עת יהיו בגדיך לבנים. One's garments should always be white. The Rambam of course is basing himself on the Mishna in Pirkei Avot as elaborated in the Gemara in the next source. תנן התם רבי אליעזר אומר שוב יום אחד לפני מיתתך.
A person should repent the day before his death. שאלו תלמידיו את רבי אליעזר וכי אדם יודע איזהו יום ימות?
What person has that insight? אמר להן וכל שכן ישוב היום שמא ימות למחר. Because we lack that insight, because life is so tenuous, ישוב היום שמא ימות למחר ונמצא כל ימיו בתשובה. A person lives with that approach, with that mindset, his entire life he'll be engaged in teshuvah. ואף שלמה אמר בחכמתו בכל עת יהיו בגדיך לבנים ושמן על ראשך אל יחסר.
On one level contemplating yom hamisah rachmana litzlan, engaging one's mortality, not only in a detached, impersonal, intellectual sense, but in the very real, immediate, personal sense, that engagement is depressing and sobering. But because it's depressing, it also depresses the yeitzer hara in all of its manifestations which hold. and facilitates teshuva. And on one level, clearly, that's what Chazal, the Rambam, are counseling. But there is another level to this advice as well. To approach that, if you take a look on the other side, the Rambam, at the beginning of the fifth perek in Hilchos Teshuva. רשות לכל אדם נתונה. Here there's actually a crucial difference between the standard printed text and I think what the Frankel manuscripts have; I think the Frankel manuscripts have רשות כל אדם נתונה לו. רשות כל אדם נתונה לו. אם רצה להטות עצמו לדרך טובה ולהיות צדיק הרשות בידו.
Reshus here in the sense of the person has the capacity, he has the power, he has the wherewithal, as in Pirkei Avos where reshus designates, denotes the secular authorities. So a person has that capacity, he has the ability, he has the wherewithal. אם רצה להטות עצמו לדרך טובה ולהיות צדיק הרשות בידו.
If a person wants to incline himself, place himself on the path of goodness and be righteous, he has that capacity. Conversely, אם רצה להטות עצמו לדרך רעה ולהיות רשע הרשות בידו.
If he wants to opt for the other path, he has the ability to do so as well. The Rav explains, and this is perhaps the most fundamental insight and remarkable insight into the Rambam's Hilchos Teshuva, that the Rambam interpolates this discussion of bechira chofshis into Hilchos Teshuva, because to fully understand the mandate and opportunity of teshuva, one has to fully understand the scope of bechira chofshis. There's a type of teshuva which is predicated on a more limited understanding of bechira chofshis. The more limited understanding of bechira chofshis translates that a person can adjudicate and choose between various forces that are pulling him in opposing directions. We have impulses for goodness, for kedusha, but there are also impulses in the opposite direction. And the more limited understanding of bechira chofshis says that a person can adjudicate between those two. He can consciously look to tip the scales in favor of either of those two, and because of that, ultimately, he charts a course of action, and because of that, we have the responsibility for how we live our lives. But there is a much more encompassing, a much broader understanding of bechira chofshis, which says that a person can actually reshape himself. The various inclinations and impulses that a person But a person can actually affect real dramatic, formidable and formative change in himself. If by nature I'm a ka'asan, bechiras chafshis expresses itself not only in whether or not I succumb to that impulse to anger, but whether I suppress that impulse, but bechiras chafshis means that I can uproot that impulse for anger. And if be'teva, if naturally I'm a ba'al ta'avah, so bechiras chafshis expresses itself again not only in the ability to choose between that impulse and the impulse for kedushah, but bechiras chafshis means that a person can correct, can change, can elevate, can refine and when necessary uproot that de'ah ra'ah, that midah. That's why the Rav explains, if you just, if you switch back to the first page, that after the Rambam introduces his discussion of bechiras chafshis, he revisits mitzvas teshuvah. He repeats in פרק ז' הלכה א' the third source that you have in front of you, he repeats the mandate of הואיל ורשות כל אדם נתונה לו ישתדל אדם לעשות תשובה
because the capacity, the wherewithal is given to a person he should exert himself to do teshuvah, and very pointedly in Halacha Gimmel the Rav calls attention to the fact that the Rambam now introduces us to the broader challenge of teshuvah. אל תאמר שאין תשובה אלא מעבירות שיש בהן מעשה כגון זנות וגזל וגניבה
don't think that the mitzvah of teshuvah exhausts itself with regard to concrete active aveiros such as promiscuity, thievery, larceny, אלא כשם שצריך אדם לשוב מאלו כך הוא צריך לחפש בדעות רעות שיש לו.
Just as a person needs to repent from concrete active aveiros, a person also needs to repent from character flaws. A person needs to scrutinize himself, identify and repent from character flaws. ולשוב מן הכעס מן האיבה מן הקנאה מן ההיתול מרדיפת הממון והכבוד מרדיפת המאכלות וכיוצא בהן.
A person has to repent from anger, from enmity, from jealousy, from living with an attitude of cynicism, scoffing, pursuit of money, of prestige, pursuit of hedonistic pursuit. A person has to repent again not just from the practical manifestations of these character flaws, but from the very flaws themselves. In light of the understanding of bechiras chafshis that bechiras chafshis is not only the ability to choose between the different impulses and the different forces that pull us, pull at us, but bechiras chafshis means that a person can change himself. So now the Rambam tells us that mitzvas teshuvah encompasses as well effecting such change. Let's try to continue one step further down this down this path that the Rav provides for us. Let's re-read on the second side again the Rambam in. Perek Hey where he formulates the principle of free will of bechirah chofshis. רשות כל אדם נתונה לו. אם רצה להטות עצמו לדרך טובה ולהיות צדיק הרשות בידו. ואם רצה להטות עצמו לדרך רעה ולהיות רשע הרשות בידו. הוא שכתוב בתורה הן האדם היה כאחד ממנו לדעת טוב ורע. כלומר הן מין זה של אדם היה יחיד בעולם ואין מין שני דומה לו בזה העניין שיהיה הוא מעצמו בדעתו ובמחשבתו יודע הטוב והרע ועושה כל מה שהוא חפץ ואין מי שייעכב בידו מלעשות הטוב או הרע.
The Rambam's presentation of what bechirah chofshis means is remarkable in the following sense. We generally conceive of bechirah chofshis as freedom of action. We're not coerced to act, we're free to act as we choose. But the Rambam says part of the capacity of bechirah chofshis that we have is also the capacity to discern and discriminate between right and wrong. It's not only if explained to us this is right and that's wrong, we can now exercise the freedom of will to choose what's right or we can be held accountable for rachmana litzlan choosing what's wrong. But the Rambam says again הן מין זה של אדם היה יחיד בעולם, he's unique in the world, ואין מין שני דומה לו בזה העניין שיהיה הוא מעצמו בדעתו ובמחשבתו יודע הטוב והרע.
He, from within, mei-atzmo, from within, be-da'ato, with his understanding, u-ve-machshavto, through his thought processes, he has a capacity to discern, to discriminate between tov and ra and then act based on that discernment, based on that discrimination. That's how the Rambam understands the posuk in Parshas Bereishis. הן האדם היה כאחד, according to the Rambam the way the posuk is to be read is behold Adam is unique. הן האדם היה כאחד, like Avimelech says כמעט שכב אחד העם. Achad in the sense of unique. הן האדם היה כאחד. He's unique. ממנו לדעת טוב ורע, from within, he has the capacity to know, to understand, to discern tov and ra. Rambam in Shemonah Perakim identifies his source. He says if you look in the Targum on the posuk, Onkelos already interprets the posuk that way. But if you think about it, there's a little bit of a subtle point here, rabosai, if you think about it, there's something strange about the Rambam's formulation. He begins by telling us that we have freedom of action to either go on the derech ha-tov or the derech ha-ra. He quotes his proof text and then in analyzing the proof text, he tells us that really bechirah chofshis encompasses much more than just freedom of action. That bechirah chofshis also encompasses again, it teaches that we have this capacity of discernment and understanding. So what he should have done is he should have said that רשות לכל אדם נתונה להכיר הטוב והרע ולהטות עצמו לדרך טובה
and then quoted the posuk. It's strange that He tells us one point, quotes his proof text, and then in the process of explicating that proof text introduces what's really the more revolutionary element of this conception of bechirah chofshis. Not quite a bait and switch because the pasuk does prove the point that the Rambam introduced, but it also says something which is in it includes much much more than that. But it's clear that what the Rambam has in mind is the following rabosai. In fact, the point he is trying to impress upon us is one point: that a person has total, absolute freedom of action. The key to that freedom of action is in the recognition, is in the understanding of what each of the paths in front of us represent. The way a person is able to marshal and exercise that capacity for freedom of action is by understanding clearly, vividly and profoundly what the two options are. And that's why the Rambam says what I'm interested in conveying is רשות כל אדם נתונה לו, control of the entire person is given to him. It's not, the person is given the potential for total, again, self-mastery, self-discipline, self-control. You want to know how is that possible? So the answer is because the Torah tells us that a person has this capacity to discern and discriminate. And if that discernment and if that discrimination is strong enough and clear enough and profound enough, it allows a person להטות עצמו לדרך טובה to overcome any and all obstacles. Let's try to illustrate this. The force of understanding, the force of recognition. Imagine rachmana litzlan a tragic scenario all too common in our world: a young Jewish man or woman is poised to marry a non-Jew. Rachmana litzlan. The young Jewish man or woman in question is aware of his or her Jewishness, but tragically has no no education, and all attempts to dissuade him or her from this course of action have been a total failure. And then vayehi hayom, there slips from the non-Jewish partner's mouth a visceral, vicious anti-Semitic comment: Jewish money controlling the world, Jews wanting to send American soldiers to die to fight for them, the modern versions of the medieval blood libel. And the Jewish partner hears it. He hears that visceral, vicious antisemitism and sees how deeply, deeply embedded it is, how naturally it emerged. All of a sudden, there's a moment of recognition which is so powerful that with the force of an explosion it shatters illusions, totally decimates whatever bonds of infatuation which until now had been unbreakable. It's a moment of ממנו לדעת טוב ורע. The sheer force of understanding and recognizing clearly, vividly, deeply, profoundly, accurately understanding the truth and knowing what the two paths represent, what the two options represent. Another illustration, also a very, very tragic, tragic scenario rachmana litzlan. An individual very seriously depressed rachmana litzlan feels trapped in a bottomless pit. Life seems pointless, worse than that, so acutely and searingly painful. And rachmana litzlan because the depression is so serious, the individual makes a suicide attempt, jumps off a bridge rachmana litzlan. What survivors from such attempts attest is that the shock of that ultimate action also creates an explosion of light and understanding and there's a moment of recognition when the individual is in free fall that as real and painful as the illness has been, it's a layer superimposed, but life is of indescribable, inestimable value and worth and something that he, like the rest of us, cherishes more than anything. There's an explosion of recognition. There's a moment of ממנו לדעת טוב ורע which is just so powerful that it allows a person to transcend and see and understand and will things that he was unable to see and will previously. You're all familiar with Chazal's depiction of this moment. אמרו עליו על רבי אלעזר בן דורדיא שלא הניח. זונה אחת בעולם שלא בא עליה.
It was an individual, Elazar ben Durdia, so depraved that he consorted with every zona in the world. פעם אחת שמע שיש זונה אחת בכרכי הים והיתה נוטלת כיס דינרין בשכרה.
He heard of a particular zona that one had to travel across the sea, across the ocean, pay an extraordinary price, but he wasn't deterred. והלך ועבר עליה שבעה נהרות. And then, as he was about to commit the aveira, she says to him, Elazar ben Durdia, אין מקבלין אותו בתשובה. Your life has been so depraved, the trajectory of your life has been such, that you're not going to be accepted if you try to do teshuva. הלך וישב בין שני הרים וגבעות. He went, he sat himself down between two mountains. He asked the mountains to intercede for him, he asked shamayim va'aretz to intercede for him, he asked the sun and the moon to intercede for him. In each case, they told him, עד שאנו מבקשים עליך נבקש על עצמנו. We have to ask for ourselves. אמר אין הדבר תלוי אלא בי. הניח ראשו בין ברכיו,
he placed his head between his knees, ga'ah bivchiya, he broke out in tears, ad sheyatzah nishmato, until he died, so great was the distress he experienced, a moment where the elemental power of ממנו לדעת טוב ורע was felt. When she made that comment to him and she told him you're hopeless, so all of a sudden, all of a sudden, there was a moment of such clear, powerful, vivid recognition and understanding that what he had refused to understand, what he hadn't been able to muster the willpower to do, so all of a sudden in a flash, he was able to do it. Such is the power of ממנו לדעת טוב ורע. The Rambam is interested in telling us רשות כל אדם נתונה לו. The Rambam is interested in telling us don't underestimate yourselves. Don't think that who you are, what you are is a given and all you can hope to do is adjudicate between different forces. Hakadosh Baruch Hu allows us to be architects of our personality. He allows us לחפש בדעות רעות שיש לו ולשוב מהם. A person is not only given the ability not to succumb to anger, he's given the ability to uproot anger. A person is not only given the ability not to act on his jealousy, he's given the ability to uproot the jealousy. Says the Rambam, you're wondering where does that ability come from? Those midos, so deeply, deeply ingrained and embedded, many of them congenitally. The Rambam says that's the force of ממנו לדעת טוב ורע. If we understand it clearly enough, if we understand it powerfully enough, so then the force of ממנו לדעת טוב ורע gives us the ability and the willpower to effect that change. Problem is that we rarely if ever experience that ממנו לדעת טוב ורע. We know tov va'ra, but again, perfunctorily, casually, not with that elemental power of רבי אלעזר בן דורדיא. Ikra kveidus hahasaga, writes Rav Kook, I think my son showed me this passage. עיקר כבידות ההשגה הוא בא ממה שהרצון אל הטוב ואל השלמות נחלש על ידי פגמי המידות והעוונות.
It's a little bit of a catch-22. That clarity of understanding, the brute power and force which that clear understanding can unleash is clouded by our averos. It's a little bit of a catch-22. Kveidus hahasaga. When a person is tired it's hard to think clearly. We think, but our thoughts are a little bit muddled, they're not as sharp as they could be. Being mired in cheit also muddles the mind. So it's a catch-22. ולעולם יראה אדם עצמו כאילו הוא נוטה למות ושמא ימות בשעתו ונמצא עומד בחטאו.
The reality Rav Kook is describing notwithstanding, there is one moment when every one of us, no matter how weighed down by past mistakes we may be, there is one moment when we won't suffer from kveidus hahasaga, when our thoughts won't be muddled, when our perception won't be clouded. When a person rachmana litzlan is noteh lamus, he sees things clearly. All the temptations, all the yetzer haras, all the cheshbonos, all the pettinesses that blind us day in, day out, from one moment to the next, when a person is noteh lamus, there's also an explosion of recognition. And a person feels that elemental power of ממנו לדעת טוב ורע. All the cheshbonos, all the scores to be settled, all the olam hazeh-dike considerations of prestige and money and pleasure, all the skewed perspectives on what's really important, what's really enduring, all the arrogance, all of it, all of it is shattered, all the illusions and delusions dispelled, and we see things clearly. And that's the... The secret the Rambam told us that if only, if only ממנו לדעת טוב ורע, so then we have that capacity of רשות כל אדם נתונה לו. A person can make of himself, of herself, a Tzadik kemo Moshe Rabbeinu, but it depends upon that elemental power and force of the ממנו לדעת טוב ורע, seeing things fully. So conjuring up the prospect, the possibility, rachmana litzlan, of shema yamus besha'ata, is on one level depressing and sobering, but on another level is remarkably illuminating and liberating. All the confusion which leads us to waste opportunities, opportunities to learn more, opportunities to come to shul and to daven properly, slowly, with kavanah, opportunities to do a chesed, bein adam lachaveiro, opportunities to swallow and not respond, opportunities for shmiras halashon. The clarity of perception that a person has when he's noteh lamus is unparalleled and unrivaled. If Rabbeinu Yona's depiction of teshuvah, of kos merirus, of experiencing v'regaza v'da'aga, distress, anxiety, if that description seems unfamiliar to us, it's because our ממנו לדעת טוב ורע when we confront cheit is inadequate. When a person sees cheit for what it is, the distance it imposes from Hakadosh Baruch Hu, the waste and the squandering of life, of life's opportunities, so there's anguish and there's anxiety in contemplating the cheit. But it's precisely that anxiety and anguish, it's precisely seeing the contrast between the tov and the ra that allows us to do teshuvah. That the Rambam writes, if you take a look in the bottom here of the first page when he's extolling the possibilities of teshuvah, so the Rambam writes גדולה תשובה שמקרבת את האדם לשכינה. It brings a person closer to the Shechinah, close to the Shechinah, as it says, שובה ישראל עד ה' אלקיך. אם תחזרו בתשובה בי תדבקו,
if you'll return, if you'll do teshuvah, you'll cling to me. Emesh, right, last night, as recently as last night, היה זה שנאוי לפני המקום משוקץ ומרוחק ותועבה. היום הוא אהוב נחמד קרוב וידיד.
The change happened overnight. How was it possible? The Rambam three halachos earlier said that the change has to be a person has to uproot those de'os ra'os, he has to correct those de'os ra'os. And now the Rambam is telling us what this happens this can happen overnight? Such formidable and informative change? So the answer is, if the ממנו לדעת טוב ורע is strong enough, it can happen overnight. It's a very realistic portrait the Rambam is giving. To the degree that we experience the merirus, the rogza, and the de'aga, so to that degree a person affects change. The deeper, the stronger the merirus, the more dramatic and the more transformative the change. And yes, it's entirely realistic if only we have the ממנו לדעת טוב ורע in all its elemental force, it's entirely realistic that emesh, last night a person, this was his profile, he was hated, despicable. והיום הוא אהוב ונחמד קרוב וידיד, beloved and intimate, a friend, kavyachol of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. The more painful the teshuvah, the more redemptive. The key to experiencing and living teshuvah on that level is the ממנו לדעת טוב ורע. And Chazal say the way a person can stimulate that is by seriously, seriously contemplating the possibility, which is a real one, this isn't a flight of imagination, this is real, by considering the possibility כאילו הוא נוטה למות. What that allows for, what that affords in terms of clarity of perception, the ממנו לדעת טוב ורע, yes, initially, initially is overwhelming in terms of merirus and rogza and de'aga, but ultimately, and the ultimately can be as soon as the next morning, what it can culminate in is היום הוא אהוב ונחמד קרוב וידיד. Good morning.