Last week we spoke about how accountability, being omeid l'din v'cheshbon, is not merely something that we do once a year bein kesseh l'asor, but is rather a defining feature of a person. That the tzelem Elokim of a person, part of that tzelem Elokim, again, which certainly defines a person, is that he's a baal bechirah, and in the Torah, baal bechirah can never be separated from being a bar din v'cheshbon. That those two go hand in hand, that the the privilege and the capacity to be a baal bechirah carries with it the responsibility of being a bar din v'cheshbon, of of having accountability. U'lechora, you see this very powerfully again, that din v'cheshbon is not something which a person is subjected to, but accountability is, again, that's the defining, a defining tchuna of a person. You see it very powerfully in in at least two things. Number one, the Gemara in Rosh Hashanah in Tet-Zayin when it quotes the braisa, the various views in the Tanna'im of when exactly a person is nidon. So there are two very, very striking opinions here in the Tanna'im. Rabbi Yossi says: אדם נידון בכל יום שנאמר ותפקדנו לבקרים. Rabbi Nassan omer: אדם נידון בכל שעה שנאמר לרגעים תבחננו. Rabbi Yossi says a person is nidon daily. According to Rabbi Nassan, a person is nidon every instant, every instant. So what's the pshat? Clearly, again, clearly the pshat is what do you mean a person is nidon constantly? Let's say physically, if you want to describe a person physically, so you'll say that his his chayus depends upon living in a certain atmosphere. He has to have oxygen, he has to live in the right atmosphere in order to survive because that's that's part of what defines who he is, what he is, as a physical being. Says Rabbi Nassan: אדם נידון בכל שעה because that's what a person is. A person is a bar din v'cheshbon. Again, it's not something incidental to the person, but it goes to the very core of who a person is, of what a person is, that he's a bar din, that he's omeid l'din. And mimeila again, so even Rabbi Meir, Rabbi Yehuda, even the Tanna of our Mishna that that nidon b'Rosh Hashanah, נחתם גזר דינו ביום הכיפורים, so l'ma'aseh Hakadosh Baruch Hu, Hakadosh Baruch Hu holds us to that din v'cheshbon once a year, but again in terms of what the core of a person is, that accountability lies at the core of who we are, what we are, that lechora is is clear. The other lechora very striking fact that underscores this idea, the Gemara says here in in Daf Chaf-Zayin, again, it alludes to the מחלוקת רבי אליעזר ורבי יהושע, which appears other in other places as well: כמאן מצלינן האידנא זה היום תחלת מעשיך זכרון ליום ראשון.
When we say in the davening on Rosh Hashanah that zeh hayom, today is tchilas ma'asecha, the day on which the world began, כמאן כרבי אליעזר דאמר בתשרי נברא עולם. So according to Rabbi Eliezer, Hakadosh Baruch Hu, the sheshes yimei bereishis began on Chaf-Heh Elul and Adam Harishon was created on Rosh Hashanah. Adam Harishon was created on Rosh Hashanah. So what's the significance of that? What's the what's the message of that, that Adam Harishon was created on Rosh Hashanah? Again, it sends the same message as to who Adam is, as to what Adam is, that he was born, he was created, he was nivra on Yom HaDin, because that's who he is, that's what he is. It's not something incidental, it's not something in addition that he deals with, that's who he is, what he is, and that's why Adam was created on Rosh Hashanah. Now Rabbeinu Tam here is bothered with the fact that elsewhere we seem to pasken like Rabbi Yehoshua, that Adam nivra b'Nissan, that b'Nissan nivra olam, not b'Tishrei. And yet, the Gemara here seems to seems to account for our practice of saying זה היום תחילת מעשיך זכרון ליום ראשון which in fact we do as saying that that follows the opinion of Rabbi Eliezer. So Rabbeinu Tam says and then he comments as well ומה שיסד רבי אלעזר הקליר בגשם דשמיני עצרת כרבי אליעזר דאמר בתשרי נברא העולם ובשל פסח יסד כרבי יהושע
amar Rabbeinu Tam דאלו ואלו דברי אלוקים חיים and they're both correct. ואיכא למימר דבתשרי עלה במחשבה ליבראות ולא נברא עד ניסן וכוותיה אשכחן בפרק עושין פסין גבי אדם שעלה במחשבה ליבראות שנים
l'hivares shnayim ולבסוף לא נברא אלא אחד. So Rabbeinu Tam says that bitchila ala b'machshava that Adam should be created in Tishrei. However l'ma'aseh ולא נברא עד ניסן. Question is what does it mean when you say that bitchila ala b'machshava livros? דבתשרי עלה במחשבה ליבראות that kavyachol l'Hakadosh Baruch Hu the idea to create Adam to create the world to create Adam that that machshava occurred in chodesh Tishrei but the actual briat ha'olam didn't occur till chodesh Nissan. So what does that mean? What does that mean? Obviously it's a mashal. I mean time didn't exist right before the world existed. Time didn't exist. Time is created the way the world is created. So there was no Nissan there was no Tishrei there was no time. There was no time before the world existed. So what does it mean that בתשרי עלה במחשבה ליבראות that which is Rabbi Eliezer but the actual briah didn't happen until Nissan. So lichora it means as follows. עלה במחשבה ליבראות represents what the ideal is. The ideal is that a person should be nivra b'Tishrei. Why? Because again nivra b'Tishrei represents that the mahut of a person is his accountability. That everything a person does every everything a person says everything a person does is ois khoushibon. What a person calculates whatever he says whatever he does in terms of is it right is it wrong what are the consequences of what I'm about to say what are the consequences of what I'm about to do. That's the ideal and the ideal is that a person should be held to that absolute standard of accountability. That his mahut is a mahut of din v'cheshbon and that his continued existence should be predicated upon his answering to that standard to that standard of absolute accountability. However אדם אין צדיק בארץ אשר יעשה טוב ולא יחטא. A person although his mahut is that he's a bar din v'cheshbon never successfully answers to that standard a hundred percent. So therefore nivra b'Nissan. What does Nissan represent? What what koach what essential attribute which lies at the core of a person does Nissan represent? So what do we see that the Torah associates with Nissan? Rashi tells us at the beginning of sefer Bereishis amar Rabbi Yitzchak התורה שהיה צריכה להתחיל מהחודש הזה לכם ראש חודשים which is hamitzva rishona. What do you mean it's מצוה ראשונה שנצטוו בה? It's not מצוה ראשונה שנצטוו בה. So what does it mean? So clearly what Rashi means is מצוה ראשונה שנצטוו בה that whereas the mitzvah of Gid Hanashe is communicated to the Bnei Yisrael, it's communicated to the children of Yaakov. Milah is communicated to Zera Avraham, not even exclusively זרע אברהם יצחק ויעקב, Zera Avraham. Those mitzvos weren't given to a new entity of Klal Yisrael. The first mitzvah which the Torah communicates to Klal Yisrael as such, again not as having a common ancestor אברהם יצחק ויעקב, not just as זרע אברהם יצחק ויעקב, but about an Am, an Eda, is החודש הזה לכם ראש חודשים is אל עדת בני ישראל. The mitzvos of Parshas Bo were to Adas Bnei Yisrael. So in Chodesh Nissan, what happened in Chodesh Nissan? Chodesh Nissan, so Klal Yisrael is born. It's a month of hischadshus. It's a month of hischadshus. That's also what the Gemara in Megilla tells us that the truma chadasha begins in Chodesh Nissan because in Chodesh Nissan is a time lechadesh. Right, you have to be mechadesh and bring from the truma chadasha in Chodesh Nissan. So Rabbi Yehoshua says and again Rabbeinu Tam he merges the two is במחשבה עלה להיברא בחודש ניסן. A person is a bar din v'cheshbon. That's the core of a person בין לרבי אליעזר בין לרבי יהושע. And that's what it means that kavyachol the machshava for brias ha'olam, brias ha'adam is associated with Tishrei with din. However, the actual, the actual bria is in Nissan because in order for a person to be able to answer to that din v'cheshbon, the Torah, Hakadosh Baruch Hu had to endow us with a koach of hischadshus. And that's what Nissan represents. Again, חדש והוי מתרומה חדשה, it represents this koach of hischadshus which again comes via teshuva. When a person is chozer b'teshuva, so that's the way he is mischadesh. That's the way he renews himself, that's the way he recreates himself. So again, how beautiful that's what Rabbeinu Tam tells us is yes, they're both true. אלו ואלו דברי אלוהים חיים is betishrei ala bemachshava, hamachshava alta lehibarei. The bar din v'cheshbon. But in order to be a bar din v'cheshbon, Hakadosh Baruch Hu said I have to endow them with this koach of hischadshus and this ability to do teshuva, and it's only through teshuva that a person can answer to that din v'cheshbon which is so crucial for what, what it means to be a person. And then what Rabbeinu Tam says would remarkably parallel, question is why he doesn't cite this, why he cites the other case from Eruvin, would remarkably parallel what again Rashi quotes at the beginning of Bereishis of bereishis bara elokim and it's only later ביום עשות ה' אלוהים ארץ ושמים. So again Rashi has a similar type of idea, has a similar type of idea that originally Hakadosh Baruch Hu thought to create the world with middas hadin. Kavyachol ראה שאין העולם מתקיים, ושיתף עמו מידת הרחמים. Hada hu d'chsiv ביום עשות ה' אלוהים ארץ ושמים. So again the same question, obviously, obviously the moshel has no literal meaning. There's no hava amina and maskana by the Ribbono Shel Olam. So what does it mean? Again, so lechora you have to say Chazal mean the same thing. That betchila ala bemachshava means that's the ideal. And a person should know that that's the ideal. The ideal is that a person should try to answer to pure din. Ella mai, Hakadosh Baruch Hu said in practice obviously that's not how the world is going to be created because a person won't be able to answer to pure din. But a person has to know that bemachshava is that the world should be created with middas hadin. Bemachshava that a person should be nivra in Tishrei. And that's what a person has to aspire to, that's what a person has to strive towards. Lemaiseh, a person was nivra with a koach of hischadshus, with a koach of teshuva in Chodesh Nissan. Two simple, obvious comments about this koach of hischadshus which we were given by being nivra in Nissan. Famous Gemara in Avodah Zarah of Rabbi Elazar ben Durdia of שמים וארץ בקשו עלי רחמים, הרים וגבעות בקשו עלי רחמים.
Ultimately, Rabbi Elazar ben Durdia comes to the realization that אין הדבר תלוי אלא בי, אין הדבר תלוי אלא בי.
So we also have that tendency to look outward because when you look outward it's easier to affect change. But lemaiseh, the greatness of the koach of teshuva is that a person changes himself, but to do that we have to realize that אין הדבר תלוי אלא בנו. That whatever else, whatever circumstances may exist, but the stage on which teshuva is played out is inward. אין הדבר תלוי אלא בנו. The other important, again, simple, obvious, but important fact not to overlook when thinking about teshuva is that while clearly Chazal tell us that it's possible besha'ah achas, again, that same maiseh illustrates and confirms it. The Gemara in Kiddushin of שמא הרהר בלבו תשובה confirms it. While it's possible to do teshuva besha'ah achas, certainly experience tells us that if the teshuva is going to last, so our teshuva has to be something which is prolonged and which we're constantly working on. The Rambam has the phrase in perek beis of Hilchos Teshuva when he talks about midarkei hateshuva, veyizak etcetera. So the Rambam says tomid. But when he describes the darkei hateshuva of a person shechosar betshuvah, Rambam says tomid, meaning that no matter how great the hisorerus a person has on Rosh Hashanah when he says lamnatzeiach, before Ne'ilah when the shliach tzibbur says the Kaddish before Ne'ilah, no matter how great the hisorerus is, if the teshuva is going to last, so the teshuva has to be tomid. It has to be something that a person is not masiach da'as from. If again in a moment of hisorerus, so a person realizes what middos he has to be mesakein, a person realizes, recognizes what flaws have to be corrected, so it's not enough that moment of insight, that moment of clarity, unless it's something that we consciously, actively seek to perpetuate and translate into various kabalos, again, individualized, each one for his own situation, unless you have that midarkei hateshuva, that tomid, a person is preoccupied with the teshuva, so then the teshuva is fleeting. The teshuva is fleeting and it doesn't, it doesn't last. And it's only if a person, again, it can be, the hisorerus can be in a minute, it can be besha'ah achas. It can happen, the koach of hischadshus is so great that it can happen besha'ah achas. sha'a achas, but only if that sha'a achas, if there's a consistent and constant follow-up to that sha'a achas. The Rambam's tamid in perek beis. Otherwise, the teshuva can be as fleeting as the moment of hisorerus was.