Amar רבן יוחנן בן זכאי, אוזן זו ששמעה על הר סיני לא תגנוב
vehalakh veganav tei'atzeiv. Ve-im nimkhar atzmo, ozen ששמעה על הר סיני כי לי בני ישראל עבדים והלך וקנה אדון לעצמו תירצע.
You pierce the ear because the same ear that heard כי לי בני ישראל עבדים, עבדי הם ולא עבדים לעבדים,
and he goes and he's acquiring a master for himself, he's prolonging the term of his servitude. So the Torah here tells us a very important yesod. When a person feels, not just feels, he feels because that's the reality, beholden or subordinate to another, it interferes with his relationship with the Ribbono Shel Olam. If I think, if I feel, because that's what the reality is, that a basar vadam is my adon, inevitably that has to detract from my recognition of Hakadosh Baruch Hu as the adon. And if I feel that I'm this person's eved, I can't, I can't fully feel or realize or recognize that in reality we're עבדי הקדוש ברוך הוא. An eved is oriented, he's geared to doing whatever the adon tells him. The adon more or less controls his living conditions. So he's looking to find favor in the eyes of the adon and because of that, again, there's a loyalty, a loyalty which he then has to the adon which very easily in his mind becomes an ultimate loyalty and that automatically contradicts the relationship one is supposed to have with the Ribbono Shel Olam. It's an important yesod because to feel subordinate, to feel dependent, is not limited to a formalized relationship of eved ivri or eved knaani, some kind of legal official form of avdus. Sometimes people feel dependent upon their employers. The employer signs the paycheck. The prospect chas veshalom of being unemployed and being left without a paycheck is a frightening one. So people feel dependent upon their employers. That feeling of dependence upon another basar vadam automatically, automatically, even if it automatically, in and of itself, detracts from a person's sense of dependence upon Hakadosh Baruch Hu. A person can only have the absolute sense of dependence which we're supposed to have on Hakadosh Baruch Hu if he feels absolutely independent of other people. But to the degree that a person feels dependent upon another person, to that degree he doesn't feel dependent upon the Ribbono Shel Olam. If one's parnassa comes from one's employer, if he's taka the one who controls whether one has parnassa, so then he's not totally dependent upon the Ribbono Shel Olam. And that in and of itself is just even without the manifestations which can happen. Even without if a person's in the wrong work environment, even without feeling pressured to do things which are wrong, which are stealing, which are Gneivas Da'as or mamish Gneiva, padding the bill or things like that, even if it doesn't translate into any activity which is Assur, the very feeling, even if it again, if it expresses itself in some kind of Chanufa vis-a-vis the employer, vis-a-vis the boss, that's an additional Issur. It's an additional Issur, but the core problem is even if it doesn't express itself, even if it's just a feeling which a person harbors within himself, a sense of dependence upon another person, that distorts one's relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu. If it results in Chanfing the person because one feels dependent upon him, and על אחת כמה וכמה if it results in Gneiva or Gzeila, so that compounds the problem, but the problem is there regardless. People feel that way, people can feel that way, the potential is there vis-a-vis one's superiors in the corporate hierarchy. If you go into Rabbonus, a Rav can have that nisayon also. A Rav can feel that way vis-a-vis the ba'alei batim, the ma'aseh the ba'alei batim vote whether or not to renew the contract, ba'alei batim vote what the salary should be. So a Rav can also have that nisayon, also have that nisayon. A person can never, ever feel dependent upon another person. A person should never, ever think that the other person controls his destiny. Now, because the feeling of absolute dependence upon Hakadosh Baruch Hu, we spoke a couple of weeks ago, the Maharal explains that that's what we talk about when we talk about Tefilla. Maharal explained that's the basic, basic feeling and understanding of Yiras Hashem, of Ilo v'Olo, because a person has to feel absolute dependence upon Hakadosh Baruch Hu, a person has to be as independent as possible, independent as possible of other people. And this means even כך היא דרכה של תורה, as Rav Salanter emphasized so much, is that when a middah is important, a person can't say, well, I'll be independent on the big things, but on the little things, I'll indulge my laziness and I'll have other people do things. No. When a person has to cultivate a middah, so then a person has to do it consistently, uniformly, without deciding, well, this is not really going to undermine the middah. Rabbeinu Yonah says in Pirkei Avos when talking about Emes, he says על הדין על האמת ועל השלום, he says, you see, a person can't even tell, a person has to be Emesdik on דברים של מה בכך. If you ask me what time it is now, so I should tell you that it's 2:31, I shouldn't say that it's 2:30 if I'm not sure exactly what time it is, so I should tell you that it's around 2:30. A person has to be Emesdik because if a person, if a person, does it make a difference to the sho'el whether it's 2:30 or 2:31? Probably not. Probably doesn't make an iota of difference to him. But if a person is not Emesdik, if a person is not Emesdik even in דברים של מה בכך. but it still it still affects him. It's still, it's still a chesron in middas ha'emes in that person. And you can't judge, you can't judge things necessarily by the applications, you have to judge it by the mida that's involved. Maybe the application is trivial, whether it's 2:30 or 2:31 or 2:32, would be seemingly and maybe actually inconsequential. But the mida of emes which is involved in not being precise and and not being emesdik, there's nothing inconsequential or trivial about the mida of emes. So the same is true when we say that the flip side of of a person feeling absolute dependence upon Hakadosh Baruch Hu is striving to be as independent as possible of of other people. It means that whenever possible, whenever possible, a person should do things for himself. Whenever possible, a person shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't rely on even even when when the when there is very bona fide sincere goodwill and offers, a person should be as independent as possible. The same way, does it make a difference 2:32, 2:31, 2:32, does it make such a difference in terms of that? No. In terms of the mida of emes, yes. Is it such a big deal whether whether whether one gets up oneself to get the drink, or you or you send someone to do it? No, the issue itself is not so big. But in terms of the mida, everything is important. Everything either reinforces or weakens the mida. It's not it's not neutral. If a person speaks imprecisely, it weakens mida ha'emes. If a person speaks with with precision, so it reinforces mida ha'emes. If if a person does things for himself, even mah be-kach, even mah be-kach, it reinforces that sense of being independent of people with the goal of of being able to feel the absolute, unmitigated dependence upon Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Now that that's one of the mistakes, when you know there is a line, there is a balance, and and like many things in life which require balance, it's easily upset. Sometimes parents, sometimes the mitzva, out of the taryag mitzvos which parents are most makpid about being mechanech the children on is kibbud av va-em for whatever reason. But out of the minyan taryag, that that stands out more than anything else. So to be mechanech the children in in kibbud av va-em, so basically the the children are supposed to be waiters and waitresses and busboys and whatever else. And there are a lot of a lot of reasons that that can easily get out of balance. One of them is that that the same chiyuv which parents have to be mechanech the children, they also have a chiyuv, it's also a din in Shulchan Aruch, that parents are not supposed to be machbid olam on children. Parents are not supposed to impose upon children. Parents have to be mechanech for that also, not just the, not just being mechanech that that will come naturally if if children are inspired to respect and love their parents, the kibbud av va-em, much of it, much of it is natural. Much of it is natural. Parents have a chiyuv to be mechanech also for not not being machbid, not being machbid olam. So how that's one thing which certainly has to be retained in in the balance. But the other thing also is that parents also for themselves, and also for the chinuch of their children, also have to be mekayem. To have people get this for me, this, that. It's, it's, it's among other things, again, there has to be a balance, but a person has to be mindful in terms of creating the balance that this is one of the things which needs to be balanced. This, this need, again, because when the midah is involved, there's nothing inconsequential. You don't judge the importance of the issue by the applications, but rather by the midah which is involved. And the absolute dependence upon Hakadosh Baruch Hu requires as much as possible that a person be independent. I remember that one morning in the beis medrash, it was after Reb Aharon zichrono livracha had had his stroke. So after he had his stroke, basically one side of his body didn't function. It was a source of constant pain, but it didn't function. The hand shook all the time, the arm and the hand shook all the time, the leg had to be dragged, it didn't function. So he was putting away his tefillin. So we sort of take for granted you put away your tefillin, but to put away your tefillin with one hand is not an easy thing. And it was takeh, takeh an ordeal. So I happened to be in the beis medrash that morning, so I went over and I wanted to do it. And beshum ofan pon said no. Said sometimes a person, he said, this was his lashon, sometimes a person, he was very polite, thanked, was very gracious in thanking for the offer, but was adamant in refusing and said, sometimes a person has to do chesed with himself. He says, I have to train myself to be independent. So no matter how long it takes me, I have to learn how to do this for myself. And that's the yesod, a person has to be... someone when my mother was sitting shiva, so someone told her a story, the actually it was the first person who had been one of the who had helped out in the Rav's apartment told her a story. So this goes back to the 60s, how he noticed once that the garbage pail in the Rav's apartment was full, the garbage bag was full. So he took the bag out and was taking and wanted to take it out. And the Rav saw what he was doing and got very upset and says, no, no one takes out the garbage from me. I do that myself, no one's gonna, no one's gonna do that for me. And he described how he didn't want to relent, he thought it wasn't lefi kvodo and the Rav, no, beshum ofan pon. It's not, you're not here to do menial, menial tasks for me. There's many other dimensions to this as well, but one of the dimensions is that importance on being independent, because it's only if a person is independent that he realizes that his dependence is upon the Ribbono Shel Olam.