וידוי זה מצות עשה. כיצד מתוודה אומר אנא השם חטאתי עויתי פשעתי לפניך.
You have a Rambam? You have a Rambam in front of you? You want to say it? Okay. וידוי זה מצות עשה. Perek Alef Alef Alef. Maybe just fast forward to the Ketzead misvade around the eighth line. Oh you're not using a Frankle? Or maybe it's not the eighth line. Sorry about that. כיצד מתוודה אומר אנא השם חטאתי עויתי פשעתי לפניך ועשיתי כך וכך והרי ניחמתי ובושתי במעשי ולעולם איני חוזר לדבר זה זהו עיקרו של וידוי וכל המרבה להתוודות.
Good, good, good. So again, Harei nichamti uvoshti. What's the word after that? Bema'asai. Right. So ma'asai, if you read it that way, ma'asai is loshon yochid or loshon rabim? Loshon rabim. And then ule'olam ani chozer ladavar zeh. Right. So maybe it should be bema'asi? Maybe it's ma'asei sheli? Well, so it could be. I mean the Rambam didn't write with nekudos, so could be it is. Maybe it is הרי ניחמתי ובושתי במעשי. But l'ma'aseh, I think you did read it right. I think it is loshon rabim. But what's pshat הרי ניחמתי ובושתי במעשי ולעולם איני חוזר לדבר זה? So is he talking about all his chatoim? He's talking about a specific cheit? Why is he going back and forth within the vidui between chatoim in general and this specific cheit? So the pshat is like this. The pshat is like this. Let's say משל למה הדבר דומה. Someone invites you, ich veis, to a gathering in his house. They're having a social gathering. They're having, ich veis, an anniversary celebration, a bar mitzvah open house. Whatever. Invites you to his house. Okay, fine. So first you get there, you know there's a whole oilam there. So you come in, you go over to the host and, you know, he's surrounded by people and you say, "Och, shalom aleichem. You know that new hair dye you're using looks really good. Mamash looks really good." And everyone's jaws drop at that. Okay. Then you realize your faux pas. Okay, so you're embarrassed. You're embarrassed. Okay. Then you're circulating a little bit in the living room and then without really paying attention to where you are, you move backwards and you knock over a vase. The vase breaks, the water spills and stains the furniture. Okay. So now, and then whatever, you can fill in the third misstep as you like. So at the second misstep and third misstep, so you're going to be misbayes, right? You're going to be misbayes. What's the busha going to be? Busha's going to be only about the vase now? Avada, avada in that situation, a person's busha is not only going to be when he commits the second infraction, it's not only going to be for the second infraction. No, but hayos that this is hagam that the lack of tact in what he said when he walked in the door and greeted the host and the lack of care in knocking over the vase may be two very different chesronos and two very different flaws that he has to correct, but the very fact that again and again and again he keeps... violating this person's hospitality means that each time it's a compounded offense. And for the boshes to really be appropriate to the infraction, it has to be boshti bema'asai, even if right now teshuvah has to be cheit by cheit. A person does teshuvah for chatoim individually. אם עבר אדם על אחת מהן, and that person does teshuvah one at a time. But hagam that he's doing teshuvah for a specific cheit, the boshes, a person can't isolate a cheit. And yitachen, there's another way to say pshat in this also, but yitachen, that's why you have the hakdamah of chatasi avisi pashati. Chatasi avisi pashati means shogeg, meizid, and meridah. So what was the cheit? What was it? The cheit that right now אם עבר אדם על אחת מהן. So what happened? Was it beshogeg, was it meizid, was it a meridah? There's another important way to answer this question as well, but the pshat is no. The chatasi avisi pashati means in general. I'm not referring to this cheit. In general, chatasi avisi pashati and specifically now training the spotlight on asisi kach v'kach. But chatasi avisi pashati is in general. Why? Because for the same reason that it's taka ma'asai, it's not ma'asi. It's taka ma'asai because a person can't, in the acknowledgment and in the boshes, a person can't compartmentalize and a person can't isolate that, oh, right now I'm feeling embarrassment only about the vase, I don't feel embarrassment about that tactless comment that I made. In terms of the לעולם איני חוזר לדבר זה, in terms of confronting chatoim and in terms of resolving, it has to be every cheit on its own terms. So m'meila, it's boshti bema'asai lashon rabbim ולעולם איני חוזר לדבר זה lashon yachid.