Where we left off last time in the Hagah in Pereq Vav if we understood it correctly so the Nefesh HaChayim is intimating a havana in the Ma'amar Chazal of shav teishuva שזדונות נעשו להם כזכויות. So how does a chet b'meizid how does that get transformed? So if we understood it correctly the Nefesh HaChayim is intimating that according to this ma'arachah that he's presented us that everything a person does whether a mitzvah or הן לטוב הן למוטב is sort of permanently embodied in the effect that that ma'aseh had. It becomes embodied in the hashpa'ah in all the olamot that every action has. So in that sense the past isn't just sort of a historical fact but is present in its embodiment. The mashal would be that let's say a person was a tailor received an order for a tailor-made sweater but for some reason there was a miscommunication as to what color the sweater should be whether it should be a blue sweater whether it should be a gray sweater. So he makes the sweater and he makes it blue and turns out that the customer had ordered gray. So here he can easily transform all his work all his labor all his effort by dyeing the sweater gray. He doesn't have to undo all the stitching and it wasn't all le-rik u-le-vatala and it wasn't all malpractice. He can easily transform what he did because there's a sort of a record and embodiment in the present of what he did. So the way we perceive reality so that's not always the case right? It's convenient that it's the case in the instance of the sweater. And what the Nefesh HaChayim is telling us no that on an ultimate level that's always the reality. The reality is always analogous to the sweater and that's why there's always an analog to the dyeing the sweater the right color. I think we left off we said that we were going to look in here in Ish HaHalacha in Ot Vav in the second cheleq of Ish HaHalacha the Koach HaYotzer she-bo. So maybe sort of alternate between trying to summarize and reading the actual words. ההלכה הכניסה את רעיון היצירה בכל תקפו והודו למצות התשובה ליסוד ההשגחה הנבואה והבחירה.
The idea of creation and creativity is embedded, HaHalacha has this embedded in teshuva in the fundamental principle of hashgacha nevu'ah and bechira. You can't truly understand the mitzvah the reality of teshuva without grasping. The role of yetzira within it. תשובה על פי השקפת ההלכה היא פעולת יצירה. It's an act of creation. Yetzira atzmit, self-creation. הפקעת הזהות הפסיכית עם האנוכי שמקודם ויצירת אנוכי חדש, בעל תודעה חדשה, רוח ולב חדשים, מגמות ושאיפות אחרות, כמיהות ועריגות שונות. זוהי תשובה המורכבת מחרטה על העבר וקבלה על להבא.
So at the risk of being repetitive, the Rav here is telling us something profound. You know sometimes, and this is going to recur here in not just in this section, but this is the section that hopefully, bli neder, we'll discuss a little bit. Sometimes a person can be aware of and think he understands and grasps a certain phenomenon, and in reality he doesn't really grasp it, doesn't really understand it. משל למה הדבר דומה. Let's say you see something at a very, very great distance, at a vast distance. So the distance is so great that it's very possible that you'll see it as being two-dimensional. I don't know, when we look at the sun, so you don't see the sun or the moon as being three-dimensional. You don't see any depth to it because the distance is too great. We're not able to see that. If you would see a person from a great enough distance, so you wouldn't be able, the person would look the way a picture looks to us now. You wouldn't see that the person is 3D, the person would look 2D. But when that happens, not necessarily in that exact mashal because we know that people are 3D, but when that happens in a situation where we're not aware of the effect that distance has, so a person just assumes that he's seeing things as they are and they really are 2D and he thinks he has a full grasp and full understanding of what he's seeing. Lema'aseh, when he gets closer, so then nisgalah lo that no, truth is I thought I wasn't troubled, but that's not because I really understood it or really grasped it as it were, as it is, it's because I was just unaware of what I was missing. So some of the things that the Rav says in this section need to be understood in that sense, that sort of revealing to us an omek that we were so totally unaware of that we thought we had a full grasp on what he's mentioning. So we know that tshuva consists of a charata al ha'avar and a kabala al le'haba. And we understand it again, let's say, in the categories of the mashal we just gave, sort of in a two-dimensional sense, that how does a person do tshuva? The way a person does tshuva is that it's not really tshuva if I don't regret, if I don't regret having chas v'shalom been mevayesh someone. I don't really regret the ma'achalos assuros, whatever it was, so. Even if I say that I won't do it again, so וואס פאר א תשובה איז דאס? Of course there has to be charata l'shavar. And it's even more intuitive that avadai it has to be kabbala l'haba. I'm sorry I embarrassed you, but hey, watch out tomorrow. You never know what's going to happen, you never know what's going to happen when we interact tomorrow. So that's also not too compelling a form of teshuva. And taka it is true on that level, which is why we don't think anything's missing. All that is true. There's nothing which isn't true about that statement. The same way it's true that a person who has three dimensions, it is true that he has two dimensions. It's not that a person was imagining that the person ich veis that there's that there's length and width. Person wasn't hallucinating when he sees that. But says the Rav, no, the omek, the 3D understanding, maybe it's one of it. Let's say rachmana litzlan, you have a person rachmana litzlan who suffers from complete and total amnesia. Mamash has no, doesn't know his parents whatsoever, doesn't know anyone, doesn't recognize anyone, doesn't recognize anyone in his life, doesn't know where he was born, doesn't know any of his past experience. Rachmana litzlan, complete and total amnesia. So we would say that on a certain level that that person is sort of not in touch with himself, because for a person not to know who his parents are, not to know who his siblings are, not to know who his spouse is, not to know who his children are, not to carry with him his past experiences is not to be okay. So maybe with the exception of whatever neurological damage there's been or problem there is, otherwise he's sort of anatomically, biologically the same. But avadai in terms of on some level, we would say that he's not himself, right? That's the way we would describe it. He's not himself, he's not in touch with himself. That's how we would describe rachmana litzlan such a situation. Says the Rav, the omek, the 3D of charata al ha'avar is that who a person is is a function of carrying his past with him. And therefore when a person changes that attitude towards the past, so he changes himself. You hear that? And similarly, who a person is is also a function of everyone has dreams, goals. That's also part of who a person is right now is a function of, again, his parents, his past experiences v'chulu. But who a person is now is also a function of le'an panav mu'adot, where the person's headed. מאין באת ולאן אתה הולך. When a person changes that as well, so it means that really, le'omek, the 3D understanding of the charata al ha'avar and the kabbala l'haba is that the definition of teshuva is that a person is recreating himself. That's what this paragraph says. You know, you're all familiar with the famous comment from Rav Chaim Ozer that Rav Chaim was the biggest baki because קיינער ווייסט נישט זיינע תוספות. No one knows Rav Chaim's Tosafos. Everyone has the same Tosafos al hadaf, but no one has Rav Chaim's Tosafos al hadaf. When Rav Chaim had a Tosafos, it was a different Tosafos. Tosafos said something else than what everyone else thought when they learned it. The same thing is true in this context. So noch amol, just to re-read this paragraph and just to understand it a little bit now, hopefully. תשובה על פי השקפת ההלכה היא פעולת יצירה יצירה עצמית הפקעת הזהות הפסיכית עם האנוכי שמקודם ויצירת. אנוכי חדש בעל תודעה חדשה רוח ולב חדשים מגמות ושאיפות אחרות כמהות ועריגות שונות זו היא תשובה המורכבת מחרטה על העבר וקבלה על העתיד.
Because that's what a person is. That's what a person is. If okay. כל מצות עשה ולא תעשה שבתורה אם עבר אדם על אחת מהן בין בזדון בין בשגגה כשיעשה תשובה וישוב מחטאו חייב להתוודות לפני האל ברוך הוא שנאמר איש או אשה כי יעשו מכל חטאת האדם וגו' והתוודו את חטאתם אשר עשו זה וידוי דברים וידוי זה מצות עשה כיצד מתוודה אומר אנא השם חטאתי עויתי פשעתי לפניך ועשיתי כך וכך והרי נחמתי ובושתי במעשי ולעולם איני חוזר לדבר זה וזהו עיקרה של תשובה וכל המרבה להתוודות ומאריך בענין זה הרי זה משובח.
So the Rambam paskens in the beginning of Hilchos Teshuva that viduy devarim is me'akev. מצד אחד סובר הרמב"ם כי וידוי דברים מעכב. אינו מתכפר עד שיודה וישוב. מצד שני
the Rav identifies this in the footnotes as the Minchas Chinuch's famous kashya. ומצד שני אמר הברייתא במסכת קידושין if a person is mekadesh an isha על מנת שאני צדיק אפילו רשע גמור מקודשת שמא הרהר תשובה בדעתו.
But I, but we were present, we hear that he wasn't misvadeh, so clearly in this context viduy is not me'akev. So how does that, how do you reconcile that with the Rambam? הרי שאין וידוי מעכב ורק הרהור תשובה לבד די בו וסתירה זו צריכה עיון. אומנם שני דינים נפרדים ושני יסודות שונים נאמרו בשם תשובה וחללותה.
There're two different, two different fundamental principles associated with teshuva. There're two different effects that teshuva has. א' בתור הפקעת שם רשע. ב' בתור כפרה כמו שאומר מכפר קרבן יום הכיפורים יסורים מיתה וכיוצא בהם.
Teshuva is a person is chotei rachmana litzlan al pi din cheit makes a person a rasha. Teshuva is mafkia that sheim rasha. Two, teshuva is mechayeiv a person, a person rachmana litzlan cheit a person is is is liable for onesh and teshuva is a mechapeir. ב' בתור כפרה כמו שאומר מכפר קרבן יום הכיפורים יסורים מיתה וכיוצא בהם.
And the answer to the Minchas Chinuch's famous kashya the Rav says that basically Minchas Chinuch himself elah answers along these lines is that וידוי מעכב בחלות כפרה הכתובה בפרשת תשובה אבל לא בדין הפקעת שם רשע.
Viduy is me'akev in kapara. For whatever reason the Torah says that in order to gain the kapara of teshuva, so viduy devarim is me'akev. But in terms of that hafkas sheim rasha, in terms of the hafkas sheim rasha, for that viduy is not me'akev, hence שמא הרהר תשובה בליבו so maybe he was maharher teshuva belibo, therefore she's mekudeshes misafek because who's to say that the al menat was not was not mikuyam? The Rav is ma'arich a little bit on that. Now comes a nifladika diyuk and pshat in the Rambam, mamash nifla. Okay, so let's pay attention rabosai. הפקעת שם רשע שהוא העיקר הראשון של תשובה היא פעולת שינוי העצמיות והאישיות.
Again what's the connection, what's the flow between the first idea of teshuva being an act of creation, of self-creation and this proof that teshuva is mafkia the sheim rasha? Because the person is a rasha and he's changing who he is, right? הפקעת שם רשע שהוא העיקר הראשון של תשובה היא פעולת שינוי העצמיות והאישיות, יצירת עצמיות חדשה של האדם.
Pe'ula zo, this this action of of creation באה על ידי החלטת הרצון הגמורה והכרעת הדעת הכבירה. Alright, let's open up this sefer on Halacha. But that sentence, the problem is that the language is so beautiful, you just sort of, you can just be so blown away by the beauty of the language and be distracted from the precision, from the diyuk ve'dikduk shebo. So פעולה זו באה על ידי החלטת הרצון הגמורה, this action of yetzira, of creation, of self-creation, comes through, comes about al yedei the following, the following combination: החלטת הרצון הגמורה והכרעת הדעת הכבירה. Complete resolve, i.e., volition, and a profound intellectual conviction, hachra'at hada'at hakabira. So the two factors and forces are ratzon and daas. So lema'aseh you hear echoes here, you can't help but hear echoes, and it's presumably intentional, of the Rambam in perek heh of Tshuva when he's talking about bechira: הן מזה של אדם היה אחד בעולם ואין לו מין שני דומה לו בזה העניין שיהיה הוא מעצמו בדעתו ובמחשבתו יודע הטוב והרע ועושה כל מה שהוא חפץ.
That combination of daas and ratzon, of understanding, of knowledge, and volition. פעולה זו באה על ידי החלטת הרצון הגמורה והכרעת הדעת הכבירה.
And mah hi ha'tshuva? Now listen to this, mamash nifla, mamash nifla. ומה היא התשובה הוא שיעזוב החוטא חטאו ויסירו ממחשבתו ויגמור בלבו שלא יעשהו עוד וכולי וכן יתנחם על שעבר ויעיד עליו יודע תעלומות שלא ישוב לזה החטא לעולם וכולי וצריך להתוודות בשפתיו ולומר עניינות אלו שגמר בלבו.
The Rambam, perek bet, hilchos tshuva, right? We're all familiar with it, or we think we are. Now listen to this, mamash nifla. Azivat hachet, parenthesis, kabala le'atid, ve'charata al ha'avar מפקיעות את השם רשע שחל בגברא ו, in quotations, mafsikos, close quotations, את המשכיותו הרוחנית ומשנות את זהותו, in parenthesis, ויודע תעלומות מעיד על יצירה זו. So somehow or other, in addition to the taitch which the Rav already told us of what the correct, deeper than we ever suspected, understanding of the combination of azivat hachet and charata really represents, so there's adding. expresses the idea that teshuva changes the person's identity. How? The Rambam just repeated the same thing. He told us again the kabbala l'haba, charata l'shavar. Someone says someone should really come out with an edition with notes, there's so much which is too... there's a diyuk nifla here, diyuk nifla. Noch amohl. ומה היא התשובה הוא שיעזוב החוטא חטאו ויסירו ממחשבתו ויגמור בלבו שלא יעשהו עוד.
So the Mesoras HaRav talks about that the Rambam, unlike the Rabbeinu Yonah who says yesh v'yesh, so the Rambam depicts first azivas hachet and then, and then the charata l'shavar, and Rabbeinu Yonah says yesh v'yesh. Okay, fine. וכן יתנחם על שעבר, וכן יתנחם על שעבר. Good. ויעיד עליו יודע תעלומות שלא ישוב לזה החטא לעולם. The ויעיד עליו יודע תעלומות is about what? Is about the kabbala l'haba. But the Rambam doesn't write it until after he writes about the charata. You hear what I'm saying? ומה היא התשובה הוא שיעזוב החוטא חטאו ויסירו ממחשבתו ויגמור בלבו שלא יעשהו עוד.
Component one. Component two, וכן יתנחם על שעבר, and then the Rambam adds ויעיד עליו יודע תעלומות שלא ישוב לזה החטא לעולם. So you could have far-inferred, you could have far-inferred, but l'mayseh, l'mayseh, the Rav is saying something nifla. He's saying, no, the pshat is the ויעיד עליו יודע תעלומות is that even if the person's resolve not to do this chet again is takeh 100% and is strong enough that he will abide by it and he will implement it, until you have the charata al she-avar, you don't have that transformation, you don't have that self-creation. And that's what the ויעיד עליו יודע תעלומות is on, and that's why the Rambam can't write the ויעיד עליו יודע תעלומות even though the whole thing is about, ostensibly about the l'haba, he can't write it until after he writes the charata. Nifla. Okay, now fine, let's, let's go back. התשובה כובשת את חוק הזהות וההמשכיות השולט בהוויה הנפשית על ידי פלא היצירה וכוחה שנמסרו לאדם. כשאדם שב הרי הוא נעשה לבורא עולמות ויוצר עצמו מחדש את אנוכיותו.
So teshuva conquers the law of identity and continuity which rules sovereign in existence through the wonder and the force of creation which were given, those capacities were given to Adam. When a person does teshuva he becomes a borei olamos and he creates himself anew, his ego, his identity. וכאן מופיע ההבדל העיקרי בין מושג התשובה בהלכה לזה של איש הדת הכללי.
And and here emerges, appears, the the essential difference between the notion of teshuva in halacha to that of sort of in in general philosophy, in general thought. זה האחרון תופס את רעיון התשובה מבחינת כפרה בתור תריס בפני עונש.
General thought conceives of teshuva only in terms of gaining atonement, of something that serves as a shield against punishment, rachamana litzlan. נפשו הוגה ומתאבלת על יום אתמול כי עבר על הזמן ששקע כבר בתהום הנשייה על מעשים שחלפו כצל על עובדות שאי אפשר לשנותן ולהמירן באחרות.
He grieves and he mourns for what's happened and gone which is impossible to change and he therefore והוא לפיכך זקוק לחסדים מרובים לנסים ונפלאות לרחמים מרובים. Teshuva is a way of being given an amnesty. No, read the next several lines and try, we'll try maybe to see if we can get a little bit of a havana im yirtzeh Hashem. מה שאין כן איש ההלכה. הוא איננו מתמכר לבכי ולתוגה איננו נושך בבשרו ואינו חובל בעצמו. הוא אינו עוסק בתשובת המשקל ואינו מתמכר לסיגופי הגוף ועינויי הנפש. איש ההלכה עסוק ביצירה עצמית ובבריאת אנוכי חדש. אין הוא מתחרט על העבר שכבר עף ונעלם.
Let's pay extra special attention now. אין הוא מתחרט על העבר שכבר עף ונעלם אלא בעבר הקיים עדיין והמשתווה והנכנס לתוך ההווה והעתיד. אין הוא לוחם בצללים המציצים מן העבר המת ואינו מתאבק עם מעשים שכבר כמשו ונבלו. אין קבלתו החלטה ערטילאית ביחס לעתיד רחוק וסתום שלא בא עדיין לעולם. איש ההלכה מעוניין בבבואת העבר המשתקפת במרכזם של חייו בהווה הסואנים והגועשים כים נרגש ובעתיד הפועם והתוסס
pulsating shekvar nivra. יש עבר חי ויש עבר מת. Yesh atid shelo in quotations notzar close quotations עדיין ויש עתיד הקיים כבר. יש עבר ועתיד שאינם קשורים זה בזה ובהווה אלא על ידי חוק הסיבתיות.
There's a past and a present which are only connected to each other and the present through the law of causality. הסיבה הנמצאת בנקודת זמן א מצטרפת אל המסובב המאורע בנקודת ב.
The cause which is in the past is connected to the effect which is in the future. ברם הזמן עצמו בתור עבר מופיע בבחינת היה אין. It was, it is no longer. ובתור עתיד בבחינת יהיה עדיין. It will be, but it's not yet. However, this isn't the Halacha's conception of time. מבחינה זו אין אנו תופסים I skipped a few lines. אין אנו תופסים את העבר בתור היה אין with an aleph העתיד בתור יהיה עדיין ואת ההווה בתור הרף עין but rather כולם מתלקדים ומתמזגים יחד. העבר משולב בעתיד ושניהם משתקפים בהווה.
The past is integrated with the future and they're both reflected in the present. אין העיקרון של זה אחזה משמש לפרקים בתור סימנו המובהק של הזמן.
V'itim, at times, אדם דר בצל העבר העתיד וההווה בבת אחת. גם חוק הסיבתיות לובש מבחינה זו צורה חדשה.
So what does the Rav mean by an avar kayam, an avar chai, and an atid kayam as opposed to an avar... which again remember that moshel we gave about where we see something and we think it's two-dimensional but since it looks two-dimensional to us we think we understand it and then it's revealed to us that it's really three-dimensional and that we now really understand it but didn't previously. So the Rav says as follows: what does it mean that there's a past which is יש עבר חי ויש עבר מת? יש עתיד שלא נוצר עדיין ויש עתיד הקיים כבר.
What does it mean that halacha doesn't operate with the notion that the past is no longer, the future is not yet, but the past, present, and future all coexist? What what what do those words mean? So lechoira as follows: maybe maybe a little bit the tip of the iceberg. So let's say משל למה הדבר דומה. Let's say this morning so everyone was in the beis medrash here in the the the old beis medrash and now we're all in the shir room across the hall and then in the afternoon ich veis in Gluck and First where where wherever. So what so what does that mean? That means that when we stepped out of the old beis medrash it disappeared and no longer no longer exists and Gluck and First don't exist but they'll materialize when we arrive at ich veis at 2:30 or whenever we whenever we make our way there? No. It means that the old beis medrash is here. Gluck First is also here. We're not there right now, right? But but but that doesn't mean that they're not here, right? So by space so that's poshut, right? That's the way we conceive of the dimension of space. It's not that this room exists only as long as we're we're we're in this room. So if you think of time in a similar fashion so think of time sort of imagine if if it's helpful if it's not helpful don't. But if it's helpful so imagine sort of a railroad track which extends from Sheshes Yimei Bereishis to Keitz Hayamim. And and the person is moving along that track of of time. So the same way when when we left the beis medrash and came into the shir room so the beis medrash is still there even though we've left that point and and our next destination Gluck is already there even though we're not yet there but all three coexist. So the Rav is saying that that's the metzius which halacha teaches us is true of time as well. And in that sense the same way that beis medrash is still there so the past is still alive. We're not there. We're not we're not in תשע"ה. We're not there but it is there. The same way it's as much there as as the beis medrash is even though we're not currently in the beis medrash. And even though תשפ"ג is still around the bend we're not there but it's there already. The Rav says that really really what underlies the capacity to do teshuva in the sense of changing oneself but we said that a person is really a function of his past and future, right? Take away a person's memories and and rob him rachmana litzlan of his past experiences he's not himself. So it means really once once again we thought we understood it and then it's revealed to us that it's really three-dimensional and that we now really understand it but didn't previously. Initially, but once one recognizes that that תשובה על פי הלכה is Hafkoas Shem Rasha, once one recognizes that that's Yetzira Atzmis, so then really the omek to that is that the past still exists, which is why it can, on a spiritual level, be transformed. If the past still exists, then the future has to exist also because it's the same conception of time. It's for the same reason if a person thinks that the past no longer exists, it's that same conception and understanding of time which tells them that the future does not yet exist. And if the past still exists, so then that means that by the same token that the future already exists. Again, think of it again, just as you can have a GPS route that takes you from point A to point B, so again, as you move along the route, all the previous spots are still there and all the future spots are already there. So think of, again, think of a timeline. Think of a timeline. So the time and what's present in time still exists, and that's really what underlies the reality of and the mitzvah of Tshuva. So maybe, maybe we'll stop here for today, try to digest it and Bli Neder, maybe we'll continue a little bit more. We still didn't get to, again, the Zdonos Nasos Kezchuyos, which was our point of departure here in the Nefesh Hachaim.