Okay, we almost finished Perek Beis. We started in Perek Beis where Rabbeinu Bachya describes three stages of teshuva. There’s one stage of teshuva where a person has some kind of awareness of cheit and he has a certain degree of charata, but he’s not really struggling to overcome. He doesn’t really struggle to overcome. He’s aware of it. He’s aware of it, and because of that, it, to a certain degree, it bothers him, but he’s not struggling to overcome, but he has the awareness. So that’s one stage, and at this point, you can’t say that there’s any kind of teshuva really. The second stage is when a person is struggling, and we said, but struggling where still פוסח על שתי הסעיפים. But in terms of what the ultimate orienting principle in his life is, so he hasn’t made that unequivocal commitment and that’s why at times he’s misgaver al yitzro and at other times he’s not misgaver al yitzro. And then Rabbeinu Bachya says that the third stage is adam she'nishlemu bo, the last paragraph of Perek Beis, that אדם שנשלמו בו כל תנאי התשובה, where all the conditions or stages of teshuva are present. גבר שכלו על תאוותו, that the seichel prevails over his ta'ava. וקיבל על עצמו לעשות חשבון נפשו. What do I mean וקיבל על עצמו לעשות חשבון נפשו? Didn’t he make the cheshbon hanefesh in order to do the teshuva? No, that’s what we’re saying, that at this point what he’s achieved is, again, he’s no longer equivocating, right? He’s now, he’s no longer פוסח על שתי הסעיפים. He says that unequivocally, unequivocally, my life is oriented to avodas Hashem. My life is oriented that עולם הזה דומה לפרוזדור לפני העולם הבא. And based on that, I’m going to make a cheshbon hanefesh. וירא את הבורא יתעלה בו שממנו וחשב בלבו על גודל עוונו ופשעו והכיר רוממות מעלת מי שהמרה מצותו ועבר על דבריו,
we discussed earlier last week. And now, the line I just want to comment on now, והציב חטאיו נגד עיניו והם למולו תמיד והם למולו תמיד מתחרט עליהן.
Literally, he sets up his sins before his eyes, and they’re in front of him constantly, and he constantly has charata. מבקש כפרה עליהן כל ימי חייו, his whole life he’s asking Hakadosh Baruch Hu that Hakadosh Baruch Hu should grant him atonement ad bo kitzo, until the end of his life. וזהו הראוי להצלה מאת השם יתעלה. It’s this person who’s worthy of being saved from Hashem. So Rabbeinu Bachya emphasizes very much, again, basically pasuk in the next perek he’s going to quote it from Tehillim Nun-Aleph of David Hamelech, v'chatasi negdi tamid, that my sin is always before my eyes. I never lose that awareness that I was chotei. Well, why is that so central to teshuva? V'chatasi negdi tamid. Why can’t it be, you know, forgive and forget, right? Or in this case, do teshuva and forget, right? Do teshuva and forget. Why the emphasis on v'chatasi negdi tamid? So let’s explore it on a few levels. I think Rabbeinu Bachya in this context, probably only the first thing we’re going to talk about is probably what Rabbeinu Bachya has in mind, but let’s talk about the... In Rabbeinu Bechaye it seems that Chatasi Negdi Samid is the way one expresses, is a reflection of recognizing the Chomer of any Cheit. משל למה הדבר דומה. Let's say Reuven he steps on Shimon's toes, steps on his foot. Fine. So what do we expect? It's not such a big deal. Maybe he caused him a little pain for a second or two. So we don't expect him his whole life to be obsessed with the fact that he did this to his Chaver Shimon. So he's got to apologize, and he's going to, "Are you okay?" and "I'm sorry" and "please forgive me" and forget about it, right? And move on. What happens if Rachmana Litzlan, Rachmana Litzlan? What happens if Reuven and Shimon are driving in a car and Reuven's driving, he drives recklessly, because of that there's an accident Rachmana Litzlan and Shimon is paralyzed, paralyzed for life Rachmana Litzlan. So that we don't expect Reuven to say, "Hey, gee, I'm sorry, next time I'll pay a little bit more attention to the road and you know, them's the breaks." No, we expect that Reuven's going to be haunted by this for the rest of his life. He's going to be haunted by this and he should be haunted by it for the rest of his life, because what happened was catastrophic. Right? The magnitude of what happened is such, the magnitude of what happened is such that it shouldn't be something that he can just say, "Okay, it's over and done with and and let's forget about it." So what Rabbeinu Bechaye seems to be emphasizing again, if you read in context the flow here: החלק השלישי אדם שנשלמו בו כל תנאי התשובה. Right before this he says חשב בלבו על גודל עונו ופשעו. A person reflects, he meditates on the magnitude of his sin. הכיר רוממות מעלת מי שהמרה מצותו ועבר על דברו. He appreciates the exaltedness of Hashem whose Mitzvah he defied. And then he says הציב חטאו נגד עיניו והם לו תמיד מתחרט עליהם. So it's quite clear that's what Rabbeinu Bechaye means by it, that it's a reflection that the person understands what the magnitude is of any Cheit. That the example we gave is true in terms of Ben Adam L'chaveiro, it's Takeh true. But in terms of Ben Adam Lamakom, in terms of defying the Ribono Shel Olam, so that's what Rabbeinu Bechaye is saying, a person should have that awareness of magnitude of any Cheit. And that's what results in the Chatasi Negdi Samid. Now clearly, just like they say, the famous Vort with which we're all familiar from the Kotzker, that a person in one pocket has Anochi Afar V'eifer and in the other pocket Bishvili Nivra Ha'olam. And there's no Stira between the two. But you can't only have the piece of paper which says Anochi Afar V'eifer, you have to have the balance between that and Bishvili Nivra Ha'olam. Not that you compromise between the two, but that you accept both fully. So the same is true here. A person can't live only with this emphasis of the Chovos Halevavos. I think if a person lives with only only emphasizing this idea and this element of Teshuvah, so it is so depressing as to be paralyzing, as to invite despair Rachmana Litzlan. So in one pocket a person has to have Dovid Hamelech's Chatasi Negdi Samid. Ma’alas HaTeshuvah. אמת היה זה מובדל מה' אלהי ישראל היום הוא מדבק בשכינה. צועק ונענה מיד עושה מצוות ומקבלן אותן בנחת ושמחה.
And there's no contradiction between the two. There's no stirah between the two. But again, in emphasizing this idea, you can't emphasize this idea in isolation from the Rambam of כמה מעולה מעלת התשובה. And that's true in general with Divrei Torah, you know. Sometimes you can be quoting a din in the Torah and you can be simultaneously distorting what the Torah says. Because if you take something which in the Torah is in a certain balance, right, it with—within the system of the Torah so this is balanced. And you just focus on that to the exclusion of other things, so that you can quote something from the Torah and at the same—you can quote it verbatim and you can be distorting what the Torah says. And and this is a perfect example, you can quote this paragraph and and this paragraph is 100% emes, but within within our understanding of teshuvah it it is supposed to be balanced by the כמה מעולה מעלת התשובה. Now, Chatosi negdi samid and again now we're talking about other affectations of Chatosi negdi samid, other things which result from that perpetual awareness but not necessarily that this is what the Chovos HaLevavos has in mind here. There's no—well, let's say it a little different way. Chatosi negdi samid is a very powerful safeguard against ga'avah. Despite the fact that the middah of ga'avah is so sonuy before Hashem Yisborach, ad kedei kach that Hakadosh Baruch Hu says אין אני והוא יכולין לדור בכפיפה אחת, that kavyachol we can't live under the same roof. Hashem says I can't, I can't live with a ba'al ga'avah under the same roof. Nevertheless, we have a very strong netiah towards it. And the reason is because as—as is the case with any middah meguna, because the capacity when properly channeled and properly developed, that a person should have self-confidence, that a person should should feel good about himself—so that—that's supposed to be the case. That a person should have the self-confidence to do what the Ribbono Shel Olam gave him the ability to do and that therefore he should—he should feel good about himself and about his prospects of being able to realize his potential. So all of that is—is a capacity which the Ribbono Shel Olam wants us to have. If we abuse that capacity, so then that—a caricature of that capacity is ga'avah. But it's—but it's because of that that we all have that capacity because we need the capacity, again, for what the Torah wants us to do, we need that capacity again of self-confidence, of healthy self-esteem to do to maximize our abilities that the Ribbono Shel Olam gave us. It's only when again when a person then allows a notion of Kochi v’Otzem Yadi to enter his mind that this capacity becomes distorted into ga'avah. But it's for that reason that a person always always always has to be on guard against gaiva because again we do have that netiya and certainly it's a chatasi negdi samid is a powerful deterrent against gaiva. A person thinks back right in his mind and he tells himself others may not know it but I do. Not that I did XYZ but I did A through Z. So what's the, where's the room for gaiva? Where's the room for gaiva again even before he's misbonen on his dependence the Ribono Shel Olam just right away immediately, immediately again the unhealthy part of the ego is totally deflated by this awareness of chatasi negdi samid. And finally and maybe even more importantly than this other nekuda is that chatasi negdi samid also achieves. The mishna says אל תאמין בעצמך עד יום מותך, אל תאמין בעצמך עד יום מותך.
A person should never feel complacent in terms of oh I don't have to worry about that. I'm not going to be nichshal in that. I'm not going to be nispas in that. I know better. I know what's right, I know what's not right. I can decide things. אל תאמין בעצמך עד יום מותך says the mishna in Pirkei Avos. chatasi negdi samid again, chatasi negdi samid is also a powerful, powerful reminder of אל תאמין בעצמך עד יום מותך. Oh I'm so convinced that I can't be nichshal. I'm so convinced that I'm not going to err. But I know what's happened in the past. So what rational basis is there for me to say that there isn't even a chance in the future? chatasi negdi samid again is also a powerful reminder of אל תאמין בעצמך עד יום מותך. Now in Perek Gimmel Rabbeinu Bachya goes on. He discusses אבל על ידי מה תהיה התשובה מן האדם ואומר כי זה יתכן אחר שתקדם ידיעתו שבעה דברים.
In order for a person to be aroused to do teshuva he has to know seven things says Rabbeinu Bachya. Just want to comment on a couple of them. hashlishi, the third of Rabbeinu Bachya's list of seven, ידיעתו חיוב הגמול על מעשיו שאם לא ידע את זאת לא יביאהו ההכרח להתחרט עליו. וכאשר יתברר לו שהוא נענש עליו יבא לידי חרטה ווידוי כעניין כי אחרי שובי נחמתי ואחרי הודעי ספקתי על ירך. ואמר סמר מפחדך בשרי.
So Rabbeinu Bachya says one of the fundamental pieces of knowledge a person needs in order to be aroused to do teshuva is to realize that the sachar va'onesh. The Hakadosh Baruch Hu, Hakadosh Baruch Hu forgives if we do teshuva but otherwise rachmana litzlan there's a din vecheshbon and there is gmul al maasav, there is sachar va'onesh. This emphasis is very similar to the famous yesod of Rav Yisrael Salanter. Rav Yisrael Salanter says we know that in all the sefarim two types of yira are distinguished. There's yiras ha'onesh and there's yiras haromemus. You have it in the Ramban in Sefer HaMitzvos when the Ramban counts the mitzva of yiras Hashem he speaks only about yiras ha'onesh. No hint to yiras haromemus. In Perek Bais of Yesodei HaTorah so there he talks about yiras haromemus. So Rav Yisrael Salanter writes he says of course the ultimate goal is yiras haromemus but a person should have a sense. sense of awe from Hashem not because, not out of any, not because he's just motivated by the instinct for self-preservation which we have, but just yiras aromemus because Hashem is so exalted, that should instill within us this overwhelming sense of awe. Certainly that's the goal. That's the goal. Says Rav Yisrael Salanter, but know that that goal cannot be attained without passing through the stage of yiras ha'onesh. That unless a person initially contemplates yiras ha'onesh, he'll never ever attain that loftier goal, the ultimate goal of yiras aromemus. And the reason for that is very simple, that the madrega on which we begin our lifetime quest of avodas Hashem, yiras Hashem, ahavas Hashem, so we're on a low level. We're not capable of yiras aromemus. We're not capable of yiras aromemus. Yiras ha'onesh is something we can relate to, something we can relate to. משל למה הדבר דומה. People don't like, people don't like to hear about yiras ha'onesh, think it's insulting that you have to appeal to that, but that's human nature. משל למה הדבר דומה. How many people are there who are told by their doctor that they have to give up smoking or they have to make changes in their diet, or, again, the cholesterol is too high and that rachmana litzlan he's a high risk for a heart attack, and it doesn't make an impact. Then the person has an episode of chest pain and goes running to the doctor, and maybe rachmana litzlan he even has a mild heart attack. So all of a sudden, overnight, all these things which he just couldn't muster the self-discipline to do, so all of a sudden bin layla, all of a sudden he finds that he has the ability to change his lifestyle and to make the changes the doctor's been telling him. So what did it? Yiras ha'onesh did it. When that was vivid, when it was something that seemed immediate, when it was something that was immediate and tangible, so that made an impact on him that telling him something which is more remote and more in distant in the future couldn't have that impact on him. We don't relate initially to yiras aromemus. We can at least, at least if we're not foolish enough to think that we live forever, we can at least relate to yiras ha'onesh. What yiras ha'onesh accomplishes is, again, it gets us to be osek b'Torah, osek b'mitzvos. That his'askus then is mekadesh a person, it's metaher a person, it elevates a person and then yiras aromemus is something which he can aspire to, something which he can attain. But to even achieve, to even attain a madrega where one can now think about yiras aromemus, so a person needs that involvement, he needs the tahara and the kedusha which results from being preoccupied with, being immersed in Torah and mitzvos. That's the role of yiras ha'onesh. Okay.